


Thick of It

by CaptainPassion



Category: Dancing with the Stars (US) RPF, Maksim Chmerkovskiy - Fandom, Maksyl - Fandom, Meryl Davis - Fandom
Genre: Dancing with the stars - Freeform, F/M, all star season, captain passion, iceandwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-14
Updated: 2015-05-10
Packaged: 2018-03-07 14:08:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 32
Words: 71,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3175662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainPassion/pseuds/CaptainPassion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Going back to do an all-star season was supposed to be Meryl's way of being reminiscent- a way to go back with the ones she'd met and meet them all over again but when it came down to the wire- all things changed. All-star season was definitely going to be a challenge- in more ways than one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Plastic Smiles

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Gretchen aka 4always7caskett](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Gretchen+aka+4always7caskett).



> Hey guys! SO! Here's my first story I'm publishing over here and I'll be bringing more over from tumblr in a while. I'll start with my most popular fics then hopefully bring the rest over in time. I hope you all enjoy this and thank you in advance for the kudos, reviews, and follows! :)

“You have to eat.”

Meryl stopped mulling her oatmeal long enough to cast Jenna a small wayward smile. The thick sludge in front of her did nothing to entice her appetite but she took a spoonful in her mouth anyways.

“Good.” Jenna nodded as she leaned her hip against the counter, coffee mug placed firmly in-between two hands, “Besides, we both know how your partner is about your eating.”

Meryl laughed, “He wouldn’t have to be so worried if _someone_ didn’t tell him.”

Jenna raised her eyebrows at her friend and shrugged, lifting her mug to her lips hiding the smile. Meryl forced another bite as the brunette made her way to the table to join her. She’d been staying with Jenna since the beginning of March and mornings had since become a routine; wake up, shower, dress, food, Jenna, practice. Repeat. It had almost been a mirror of last year. Almost. Except this year she was in the all-star season of Dancing with the Stars and Jenna had become pro and…

“You’ve been eating a lot less,” Jenna said softly, not meeting her gaze.

Meryl laid the spoon down beside the bowl and pushed her hands against the tops of her thighs, “I don’t know what’s wrong. I just… my appetite has been gone.”

“Is it because…”

“No.” She said firmly, shaking her head. What had happened between them wasn’t going to rule her life let alone her appetite, “I just don’t feel like eating.”

Jenna dropped the subject with a nod of her head for which Meryl was thankful. She looked down at the food in front of her and suppressed a sigh. There was no use in trying to force her food down; it would probably come back up anyways. She stood then and took the bowl over to the trash can, clearing it of her half eaten breakfast. She could feel Jenna’s eyes on her but didn’t turn around- instead she dropped the bowl off at the dishwasher, headed towards the door, grabbed her car keys and yelled, “I’ll see you at the studio. Good luck.” Before closing the door quickly behind her.

xXxXxXxXx

She let out a deep breath as she turned down the alley to the parking lot behind the dance studio. She knew she was late but the line at the gas station was longer than she’d expected and there was no getting to the studio if she didn’t have gas. She quickly parked her car then jumped out, hastily reaching for the back door of her rental to grab her gym bag when she caught a glimpse.

A glimpse of him. Her movements faltered and suddenly what little energy she had left in her body escaped her; her hand dropped to her side as she watched him walk towards the gated front of the building. He was looking down at his phone and hadn’t seen her yet so she took the opportunity to move and stand behind the car next to hers. He looked tired, beaten and older. He looked… like her. A frown deepened on her face as she watched him. Whatever they were, no matter what had happened between them, she’d never want him to feel like she did- to feel like he was missing a limb- like he couldn’t breathe as deeply as he used to… to feel like there was a small hole in the confines of his chest.

“Hey, Merchka.”

Meryl jumped slightly and braced her hand against her heart turning to see Val standing behind her, a playful yet proud smile plastered on his lips, “Oh my gosh,” She reached to push his shoulder, “Don’t scare me!” He laughed and grabbed her wrist pulling her towards him. She went willingly, wrapping her arm around his waist as he wrapped his around her shoulders, the familiar comfort made her feel a little normal.

“Sorry,” He said steering them towards the building, bending down to grab her forgotten gym bag before continuing to the gate, “You ready for today?”

She shrugged slightly and pursed her lips, “I think so. I really liked the foxtrot last year.”

“Well, this foxtrot is going to be even better than last years,” He said pulling her closer to his body, rubbing a hand on the top of her arm, “I promise.”

“With you as my partner, how could it not?”

xXxXxXxXxXx

“No. Baby, come _on_.” Meryl glared daggers at him through the mirrors in front of her. Val raised an eyebrow at her and cocked his head, “Just move your hips this way.”

His hands turned her hips in an unnatural position even for her and she grimaced. Biting her tongue, she nodded and waited for him to start counting off again. They had been practicing their foxtrot all day and all she wanted to do was go home and crawl under her blankets in her bed and not get up until tomorrow. She hadn’t slept well in weeks, she was nauseous, and her feet hurt from him stepping on them and although she’d never tell anyone seeing Maks had winded her.

 In truth, even hearing his name stung- seeing a message on Val’s phone felt like a fist clenching at her heart but to see him- to be within eyes distance of him…. That felt even worse. But what hurt most of all was knowing he was in the same building, holding a different woman- dancing with her. _That_ was the worst thing. And so she didn’t imagine it; she focused on the task at hand and that was learning the foxtrot. It had been a week of training and they had three days left until show day so she knew the dance well enough, he was just fine tuning. She listening to the muffled music and delved into herself, closing her eyes. She had taken this challenge back when they were fine. Back when they could still look at each other.

_“Come on, Maks.” She grabbed his hand and tugged, a smile beaming up at him, “This will be so cool.”_

_He scrubbed his face with his hand and sighed, “Meryl… I left. That was it for me. You were all I needed.”_

_She raised an eyebrow and ignored the tug at her heartstrings, “But how good would it feel to do that **again?** To have that feeling again? And… To do it with each other? Come on.”_

_He looked down at her and finally broke, “Seriously? You want to do this again? Are you sure?”_

_“100%. I promise you won’t regret it.”_

_He shook his head and let out a deep breath, “I don’t know why I can’t say no to you.”_

_“So, you’ll do it?”_

_“ **We’ll** do it.” He said squeezing her hand._

She shook the memory away and made herself focus on the dance again as she listened to Val’s steady noises instead of numbers, used to it now because his brother did the same thing. She moved with him easily and the steps flowed out of her. The dance was over before she knew it and when she opened her eyes he was smiling at her. She let out a sigh of relief at that, “Good?”

“Really good.” He nodded wiping the sweat off his forehead.

She walked to the cool brick wall and slid down it, smiling, “Okay.”

He followed suit, sliding down beside her and leaned his head back, closing his eyes, “You actually have an off switch? I’m shocked.” Meryl pushed her shoulder against his and laughed again. They sat in silence for a little while until their breath evened.

“You okay to get out of here alone?” He asked, “I have to go out with Maks and get Sleep from the airport.”

Meryl stiffened, “Oh yeah?”

He instantly realized his mistake, “Uhm… Yeah. I just… We gotta…”

Meryl gave him a tense smile and shrugged her shoulders, “What? It’s fine.” He watched her, trying to read her. She looked away casually trying to mask whatever feeling she that was rolling through her that was making her stomach clench and her eyes feel heavy. Val didn’t need to be in the middle of anything and she didn’t want to drag him there.

“Sleep got shipped from Mom and Pops house today. We are just gonna go pick him up.”

“That’s awesome. I know Sleep loves it out here.”

Val nodded, and pursed his lips, “Yeah. He does.” He paused, “He, uh… misses you I think.”

“I miss him too,” She moved to get up, “Give him a kiss on his head for me, and scratch his spot.”

Meryl scooted and rose to her feet before he could respond but suddenly the room began to spin around her. She braced her arm out, trying to catch the wall. Her stomach was in knots and she felt bile rise in her throat, tears burning the back of her eyes. “Meryl?” Val stood quickly, grabbing her to steady her, “Hey- hey! Mer.”

Meryl took three deep breaths and let them out, shakily as he lowered her to the ground. Meryl shook her head, placing an arm across her sick stomach, “I don’t know what happened…”

He peered into her eyes, his brow knit together in confusion as he rubbed the tops of her arms, “Wait here, I’ll call Jenna. I’m not letting you drive home alone.”

xXxXxXxXx

“I’m stopping,” Jenna said, blatantly ignoring Meryl’s request to just go home.

“Jenna, really, it’s fine, I just need to lie down. And eat. I really want to eat.” Meryl looked out the window and sighed. She didn’t know what had happened back at the studio. One minute she was talking to Val and the next she was back on the ground Jenna hovering over her whispering tense words to Val.

“Okay, while I’m in there I’ll get you something to eat. I told you, you should have eaten a better breakfast, M.” Jenna muttered as she pulled into the small grocery store they often shopped at when they only needed to pick up a few items. Meryl didn’t bother to comment on her breakfast comment because the lunch she had had made up for the lack of food in the morning. Meryl started to unbuckle her seatbelt, “I’ll go in, too. I’m craving fries and strawberry ice cream.”

“Again?” Jenna turned off the car and hopped out, meeting her at the front of the car then throwing her bag over her shoulder, “If I didn’t know any better- with all this morning sickness, cravings, and what not I’d say you’re pregnant.”

Pregnant? That stopped Meryl right in her tracks. She watched Jenna calmly walk into the store as a sudden wave of panic flooded over her. She hadn’t even thought of that… No. No she couldn’t be, right? She made a mental calendar of her last cycle- and counted backwards. She’d missed it this month. But, that wouldn’t matter- she’d always had trouble with her periods. Or… She _had_ , last year with the training and rigorous diet. It was well on its way to back to normal. She felt her body flush all over and tried to shake herself out. There was no way she was pregnant. Well, of course there was a way, but… no way.

Jenna turned around, “Are you coming?”

Meryl snapped her head up and met her friend’s eyes, “Yeah… Yeah I’m coming.”

Jenna reached her hand out and Meryl walked to her, taking it easily, “You okay? Do you need to sit down?”

“I’m good.” She gave her a weak smile and pushed forward. Jenna raised an eyebrow at her but kept their stride. Shopping got over quickly, they got the few things they needed; ginger ale, crackers, ice cream, microwave fries and a few other items before heading to the cashier. Meryl’s eyes scanned the aisle for personal products and when she found the sign that stated, “Family Planning,” in big bold letters looming over the aisle she almost didn’t go through with it. Meryl did her best to swallow the lump in her throat and pointed her thumb down the aisle, “Go ahead. I’ll meet you up there. I need to grab deodorant.”

Meryl watched as Jenna kept going and waited until she was fully alone to head down the aisle. The section she stopped as was intimidating; the mass amounts of tests, condoms, and various gels in front of her made her want to slink back within herself. She felt like there were eyes all around her as she scanned the products and picked the most expensive pregnancy test she could find. The box felt heavy and foreign in her hands as she stared down at it. There was a sound of a cart heading down the same aisle and she rushed to hide it, embarrassed like she had something to hide. Meryl found a cheap bottle of conditioner to hide in front of the item in question and clenched her jaw and raised her chin. She was a grown woman; she had nothing to be ashamed of… Right? Feeling like she was in slow motion as she made her way to the front of the store and scanned the tills. She spotted Jenna right away and quickly bee lined for an aisle three rows away, still hiding the box in her hands. Meryl licked her lips, trying to cure the dryness of her mouth and watched as the cashier slid the box across the checker, her heart feeling like it was in her stomach. There were a lot of things Meryl thought could handle but this… she wasn’t sure about this one. The cashier paid no mind as she handed Meryl her goods and she stuffed the small brown paper bag into her purse then made her way back to her friend.

“Hey, you find it?” Jenna smiled as she swiped her card in the machine and pushed in her pin number.

“They didn’t have my kind,” Meryl avoided her gaze as she slung their plastic bags full of groceries up her arms. What could she say? ‘So you know how you said I could be pregnant? Haha- so funny story maybe I am?’ She shook her head, mentally kicking herself.

Meryl clenched her purse in her lap on the drive back home almost sure that Jenna somehow knew what was being held inside. She wondered if that was how everyone felt when things like this happened. Did everyone feel like there was a weight on their shoulders? Like there were eyes watching them? She shifted uncomfortably in her seat and shook her head. She didn’t even know if she was pregnant- this whole thing was silly. When they got back to the apartment a short time later she did her best to stay calm helping put the groceries away but then snuck off to her room quickly locking the door behind her. She felt like a smuggler as she whipped the box out of her purse and threw it on her bed, placing her hands on her hips as she stared down at it. Meryl began to pace at the edge of the bed glaring at the test. “Okay,” She whispered to the inanimate object, “You don’t scare me.”

She leaned forward and picked up the box and tore it open. She looked down at the wand in her hand and formed a line with her mouth; nodding once she turned to her on suite and forced herself to take the stupid test. She waited, pants around her ankles, holding her breath. After three minutes- but what felt like an eternity- she took the wand in both hands and closed her eyes let out the shaky breath. Meryl’s hand flew to her mouth to muffle the whimper as she let the test slide out of her hands. The smiling happy face landed face up, mocking her.

Pregnant.


	2. Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With that dropped bomb, Meryl has to be able to deal with whats going to happen... Ready or Not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go! Chapter two! I made myself do this! I hope you guys enjoy this and please understand this needed to be an emotional chapter before we move on! :) Thank you for the kudos, reviews, and follow in advance! Love you! Always- J.

Three days. It took exactly three days for the morning sickness to settle in. Meryl groaned as she lifted her head from the toilet and moved her arm to her mouth, wiping. It came out of nowhere just as she rolled over in bed to turn off her alarm her stomach churned and she ran to the bathroom. She got sick and it was over how it started; fast and short but that didn’t make it any better. She sighed and stood up then reached for the shower ready to wash off the grime of the night and morning.

She stripped quickly and hopped in the shower, a small relieved whimper left her mouth as the warm water washed over her head and back pooling at her feet; cleansing her. She leaned her head against the cool tile of the shower wall and closed her eyes. The shower was a place of solace for her. It was the place she felt better, like she could hide. No one disturbed her there and she could think.

Not that she knew how to start sorting the heavy mess in her head that she felt was weighing down her shoulders. She hadn’t seen Maks since the day she found out she was pregnant and she could tell. Whenever she didn’t see him for long periods of time she felt it in the hollow of her bones. She felt the loss underneath her skin and nagging at her soul and the worst part was she had no idea how to fix it. She missed the way his hands felt on her waist and the way his breath felt on her neck. She missed the way they would wake up and the way they fell asleep. She trailed her hands down her body trying to remember the paths he’d taken- the ones that made her skin feel on fire and made her feel alive.

Her hands came to rest on her stomach and she looked down. She rubbed carefully as she bit the bottom of her lip. There was life there… They made a life together and the proof was lying beneath her palms. She shook her head slightly and whispered, “I… I don’t know what to say,” She bit back the waves of frustration and fear that had started to thrash upon her. She felt like she had to say something- to inform the light growing inside her of how sorry she was; sorry she was alone now and that she hadn’t told anyone and that the only person she wanted to tell she could hardly stand to look at without an innate need forming to throw herself in his arms. Instead she decided the first words she should say to her baby needed to be something… more, “Hi, little one. I’m your mama,” she gently caressed her stomach in small circles, “You can’t hear me yet but I wanted to tell you who I am. I am the person… that will love you. Today, tomorrow and yesterday and… and it’s gonna be you and me. It’s going to be an adventure.” She smiled softly down and her belly and decided that was enough. That promise was one she would keep forever and that’s all they both needed to know right now. With that her hands dropped to her sides and she finished her shower in silence.

Although she would stay in the shower all day she had her last practice and the show was tonight. Meryl quickly toweled off and found the most comfortable clothes she owned and threw them on, quickly brushed her hair and went to the kitchen. As always she was the first out. She had thirty minutes until she had to leave giving her enough time to grab something to eat and relax before her day had started. Meryl reached for the coffee maker out of instinct but stopped herself- she shouldn’t drink caffeine pregnant… right? She knew the basics of pregnancy, the rights from wrongs- limit caffeine, no fish, alcohol, or excess salt. Drink water. Suddenly feeling very unsure of herself Meryl grabbed an orange and a bottle of water from the fridge and sat down in at the table. Give her a pair of skates or a manuscript in Italian and she could school you in whatever you needed to know, but now she was out of her element.

She’d figured she was about 11 weeks along judging from her last period and the last time she’d been with him. Her stomach barely poked out yet but she knew before long that it would, at worst now it just looked like she was bloated or she was pushing her tummy out easily hid with baggy clothing. Her stomach had always been firm but now it was tight, ever since she’d found out she felt like she was stretching and it fascinated her but worried the same. 

She heard shuffling coming from down the hall and smiled knowing her best friend had probably just woken up and forced herself out of bed. Jenna turned the corner, her hair a messy halo around her head and yesterday’s mascara lined her eyes as she yawned and waved at Meryl, “Morning.”

“Morning.”

Jenna sleepily made her way into the kitchen and reached for the coffee cups, eyes closed, then turned for the pot. Her eyes finally opened when she realized the lack of liquid in the crock then turned to Meryl with an arched eyebrow, “Are we out of coffee?”

Meryl had stopped plucking at the skin of the orange long enough to glance at Jenna and shrugged, “I don’t think so. I didn’t look.”

Jenna frowned at Meryl, “You didn’t look for coffee?”

Meryl pulled at the last of the skin on the orange and made a small pile, “No. I guess I just wasn’t feeling coffee this morning.”

Meryl didn’t have to look up from her busy work to know Jenna was staring at her, the sound of the cup on the granite counter already told her that Jenna had her hands on her hips and her eyes narrowed in her direction. Meryl refused to look up from her fruit knowing what was coming.

“What’s going on Meryl?”

“Nothing,” She said evenly, “I just didn’t feel like coffee this morning.”

“You would drink coffee at ten o’clock at night if you could.” Jenna said flatly. Meryl bit the inside of her cheek and rolled the fruit in her hands. She didn’t have a good answer for her friend- at least not one that she was willing to spill out into the world yet so instead she stayed quiet hoping that maybe she’d let it go. It didn’t work.

“Seriously? What’s going on? Meryl- I know your hiding something from me, you’ve been acting weird since… well for over a week now. Did I piss you off?”

Meryl shifted in her chair and shook her head, “No, Jenna. It’s nothing like that. I just… I guess I haven’t been feeling myself.” Jenna sighed heavily and walked over to her friend sitting directly across from her at the tiny table. Meryl leveled her gaze to Jenna’s and formed a small line with her mouth. She knew what she looked like to her friend; the bags under her eyes were dark and puffy, cheeks more sullen then normal and her skin was as white and pale as rice paper. She looked sick.

Jenna searched her face for a moment then watched as her gaze turned from hard and probing to soft and sad. Meryl cast her eyes downward and cleared her throat waiting for her to speak. Jenna reached her hand across the table and Meryl took it easily and closed her eyes. Maybe it would help… Maybe if she said it out loud- to someone else- she would wake up. She would break this spell that had settled over her.

“J… I…” Meryl licked her lips and nodded once, preparing herself, “I am…”Jenna’s eyes never left her; she nodded gently and rubbed her thumb over Meryl’s hand reassuringly. Meryl took a deep, wavering breath and forced out the words, “I’m pregnant.”

There was a sharp intake of breath and a squeezing of her hand before she’d registered her friends reaction. Jenna still stared at her, her gaze questioning and then it turned into complete sadness. Jenna let go of her hand and Meryl felt suddenly very alone. She felt herself shrink back into her chair and duck her chin against her chest squeezing her eyes shut.

Jenna’s warm hand closed over Meryl’s elbow and pulled her friend to her feet. Meryl shook her head harshly and let out a sob she hadn’t known was waiting to bubble over the surface. Jenna’s arms enclosed around her and Meryl responded instantly, holding on as tightly as she could pulling at the back of Jenna’s shirt with her hands, hot tears spilling over her eyes and onto Jenna’s shoulder. Jenna squeezed hard and shushed her, rubbing the back of her head, “It’s okay… It’s okay…”

Meryl shook her head again, still clinging to her friend, “It’s not.”

xxxxxxxxx

“Meryl and Val… Argentine Tango.”

Meryl straightened her spine at the choice of dance for next week. Argentine Tango… Scenes of her flying through the air burst into her mind and instinctively her hand went to her stomach. Her eyes darted to Val as he stood buttoning the last three buttons of his shirt staring at the producer who was still reading off assignments to the rest of her co dancers. He looked unconcerned while she was trying her best to combat the panic and out of habit her eyes went to him looking for reassurance.

He was across the room from her, sitting lazily in a wooden makeup chair looking relaxed in everywhere but his face. When her senses went to him he was already looking at her- his eyes intense with a myriad of emotions. The moment their eyes connected he straightened, his shoulders tightened and his mouth opened slightly. Her brain was screaming at her to move but her feet seemed to be glued to the floor forcing her to stay and stare at him. He tilted his head slightly as if pleading her to stay, pleading her to let him come to her and just say something but she shook her head ever so slightly and then he deflated, hurt flashed across his face. There was too much to say and not enough words. She finally felt herself able to move and when she did she moved quickly. Before he would have followed her, but now she knew he wouldn’t. He knew she didn’t want him to.

Moving from the red room to the backstage area she slid into a small costume closet and leaned her body against the door letting out a deep breath. Her hand went to her stomach again and she rubbed, trying to calm the beating that had formed like a base drum in her chest. She closed her eyes and forced herself to level her emotions. It was true what they said- pregnancy hormones were crazy. Normally she wouldn’t react too violently to the situation but with all things considered she couldn’t reprimand herself much. Taking three deep breaths she moved to leave the closet and back to the red room where everyone had dispersed into tiny groups or along the makeup mirrors. Meryl took a seat next to Jenna and gave her a small weary smile then turned her attention to the screens in front of her.

The ballroom was filling up fast; happy smiling faces mulled around the room waiting for the production to finally start. Meryl looked down at her outfit and thankfully Val didn’t dress his partners like Maks did. He’d chosen form fitting flowing materials that hugged every small curve of her body while Val chose softer pieces more centered on the whole production than the person themselves although her dress was form fitting the skirt flared at the waist covering everything she wanted to hide. The producer came back to stand in the middle of the room and that’s when the show had started.

The show itself had gone off without a hitch. Their foxtrot had gotten them in second place, Maks and his partner followed closely behind. Meryl caught glimpses of him throughout the night and it made her chest tighten. The last time she was here- doing this exact thing, their journey had just begun and now they had come full circle, but in the worst way. By the end of the night she had zero energy and even sitting back in the red room taking off her makeup had become a chore she almost didn’t do but she knew if she didn’t do it here there was no way she was doing it back home; once she saw that bed there was no way she wasn’t going right to it. Meryl poured the makeup remover on a cotton ball and began the job of taking off the layers of stage makeup that had been caked on her face. She felt her eyes get heavy as she moved to take her hair down, each bobby pin clinking of the makeup desk in front of her.

She knew when he’d stepped in the room: the large area seemed impossibly smaller with his presence. No matter if she wanted to run, she couldn’t. She couldn’t force herself to rise from the chair but instead she met his eyes thru the mirror when he came to stand behind her. She felt his hands brace the back of her seat and resisted the urge to shift closer.

“Hi…” His voice sounded gruff when it hit the air.

“Hi.” She continued to pull the bobby pins from the up do, her hair slowly cascading in pieces around her shoulders. He watched her openly making her feel even smaller than before. She kept going, waiting for him to say what he needed to say.

“You did really well out there. I’m proud of you.”

Meryl felt herself nod, “Thanks. You guys were really great.”

Maks moved his weight from his left to his right foot, the tension between them growing ever thicker with each passing minute. Meryl finally got the last pin from her hair then shook her hair out between her hands. When she was done she placed her hands in her lap and met his eyes again. It was habit, to look at him right in the face, and right in this moment it was a habit she hated.

“So… Uh… Listen…” Maks started and fumbled in his words, Meryl swallowed the growing lump in her throat and waited for him to continue. He moved to touch her, to bring his hand from the back of the chair to her shoulder and she flexed away. His hand fell to the side, his eyes burned with a mixture of anger and sadness. She knew what had happened between them was both of their faults but it didn’t mean the wound that had still been festering under her skin was healed. She stood up from her chair and faced him, putting more distance between them.

“I should get going…”She said softly. Meryl watched as the grip his one hand that was left on the back of the chair tightened, making his fingers turn white. She met his eyes, “Okay?”

He nodded slightly and took a couple steps back clearing a path for her. She walked past him quickly and made sure she didn’t touch him on the way. She was certain that if she’d touched him some how she’d break. Meryl smelled him as she past, his familiar scent sent tingles up her spine.

“Are we ever going to get passed this?” He whispered before she got out of ear shot.

Meryl stopped in her tracks and closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath. She contemplated all the things she had wanted to say to him for the past two months; nothing she’d said seemed to be appropriate in this moment so instead she shrugged, her back still to him and kept walking. There was nothing she could say to make it all better no matter how much she’d wished there was.

xxxxxxxxx

Val sat listening to the track they’d been given that morning tapping his foot and every so often writing something down on the legal pad he’d balanced on his knee. To her dismay the song that had been chosen was fast past and strong and she could tell Val was going to try and use that to his advantage. He smiled at the end of the song and sat back in the chair, “This is going to be epic.”

Meryl smiled wearily at him and hesitantly took a step back, “Should I be afraid?”

“Not at all,” he said putting the legal pad next to the stereo on the table. Val stood up and walked to the middle of the room, “It’s going to be technical- precision is key. I liked how we danced this last time, the fast hardness of it. It gave it a sense of…” He began snapping his figures, “Intensity. That was good.”

Meryl stayed on the sidelines of the room watching him get ready to create. Unlike Maks, Val needed to be alone when creating- he was able to create a piece in his mind while Maks wanted her there by him. Maybe that wasn’t true for everyone but for the two of them she knew it always made him feel better when she was there. Val began to make steps around the room muttering to himself giving Meryl some time to herself. Her hand had found its new favorite spot on her stomach as she thought of what Maks was doing now. Probably teaching and being angry. She’d heard through the grapevine that he’d gotten his temper back every so often making his new partner very nervous. Meryl scowled at the thought of him having fits again. She’d never really saw them but she could imagine.

“Alright.” Meryl glanced up from her daydreams to see Val holding his hand out to her. She went easily taking his hand in hers and faced the mirror, “So. I think we should start off on opposite sides of the room, meet each other half way. I want us to walk past each other initially but then I reach back and grab your arm and that starts the dance, okay?” Meryl nodded, “Okay. So that will start you off like this,” he positioned her in his arms and she did her best to get herself in the Argentine Tango frame of mind. He continued to choreograph the first steps of the song every so often erasing parts and putting things in.

“Alright, now, thankfully you are a physical beast because there’s a trick I want to try.” Meryl felt her eyes grow wide as she listened, “I want to lift you from the sides- similar to what you did with Maks, but I want to hold you above my head and turn you.”

Meryl let go of his hand and faced him, “What?”

“Don’t be afraid,” He laughed, “I know you’ve done similar stuff before. Plus, I pretty much dead lifted my last partner from my knees all the way to standing up. I can handle this one.”

“It’s pretty early to start lifts don’t you think?” Meryl said.

He furrowed his eyebrows at her, “I want to make sure we can do it before I make anything solid.”

Her fingers twitched at her sides as she wracked her brain. Maybe she could see what the lift was like before she began to panic. Meryl shrugged casually, “Okay. Starting now?”

Val moved behind her and began to inform her of the technicalities of the trick, she would jump and he would put a hand on both sides of her, lifting her up by the hip and her ribs then shifting her above his head. She’d be lying face up to the ceiling and it would happen fast. Two turns in the air and she would be back down. Meryl bit the inside of her cheek and nodded understanding the process.

Val counted off and she jumped. His hand pushed on her ribcage and hip at the same time and she let out a cry. She’d known it was coming but she was still afraid. Val put her down quickly, “Did I hurt you?”

Meryl batted back a wave of tears that was trying to spring from her eyes, “No sorry. I just… It scared me for a second. No big deal.”

Val looked at her like she was crazy and shook his head, “What is going on? No offenses but you are an Olympic athlete- plus I practically threw you in a circle last year and you loved it.”

Meryl clenched her jaw and shrugged, “It just scared me.”

The look on Val’s face told her he wasn’t convinced. She edged away from him and crossed her arms over her stomach. He watched her and like all Chmerkovskiys were able to, he read her like an open book. His eyes widened and his face fell into a state of shock. He took one step to her with his arms out then stopped dropping his arms. He stared at her for what felt like forever, still trying to grasp the situation. She averted his eyes from him, staring down at his feet waiting for what was next. Val took another step forward and put his hands on her shoulders then whispered, “You’re not…”

She rolled her eyes up to the sky and formed a line with her mouth and nodded curtly. He pulled her against his chest in a crushing hold before she could register what had happened. Meryl forced her eyes shut as his warmth ran over her. She didn’t unwrap her arms from around her stomach but she laid her head against his shoulder and just breathed.

She hadn’t planned on telling him but know that he knew she’d felt better. Better than she’d expected she would have. They stood like that for a long time, both processing the information. When he pulled away from her she saw the questions in his eyes but thankfully he didn’t ask them. She pursed her lips and looked down at her feet and laughed bitterly, “Isn’t this crazy? Of all things…”

“We don’t have to do this,” He said back, “We can drop out.”

Meryl leveled her gaze to his and searched his face. She didn’t want to drop out because in all honesty this was keeping her distracted from the current amount of crazy that was being flung at her from all sides. She shook her head, “No. I want to do this. I just… We have to do it carefully.”

“Oh shit, I tried to lift you over my head. Meryl, you shouldn’t have let me.”

She shook her head cutting him off, “No, I know people that have done harder things while pregnant. I just, I haven’t even been to the doctor yet and it made me nervous.” Val raked a hand through his hair and stared at her then to her stomach then back to her face. She took a deep breath, “I’m going to the doctor on Wednesday to figure this all out. I don’t know what’s okay and I don’t know what I’m doing and all I really want to know is if I can do this.”

Suddenly the flood gates opened: “And if… if I can do this alone. I have never been so unsure of myself in my life and now I’m harboring a living person inside of me and all I can think of is _him_ and us and how I haven’t said more than ten words to him in two months and now I’m carrying his child and… and he would be such a good dad,” she smiled sadly, “And how I don’t even have the guts to tell him. I don’t even have the guts to tell my family. And I feel like I’ve just screwed everything up and I have never been so scared-“

Val stopped her by wrapping his arms around her again. This time she clung to him like she’d clung to Jenna but she didn’t cry. She shivered in his arms and he squeezed tighter, giving her reassuring comfort that he was there. She didn’t know how much she’d needed his reassurance but when she’d gotten it, it lessoned a burden that had been placed on her shoulders. She pulled away and shook herself out, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” He said softly, still trying to rein her in. Meryl looked at him and gave him a sad smile.

“Well…” He left out a deep breath, “I think we’ve had enough for today, don’t you?”

She laughed at that and nodded weakly, “Absolutely.”

He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and walked to the side of the room to gather their things. He toted out their gym bags and walked her to her car, “You going to be okay?”

She nodded, “Yeah I’ll be fine. I don’t think Jenna’s home yet but maybe I can get a nap in.”

He mirrored her by nodding, “Good.” He didn’t move to get out of her way or close her door but just looked at her. She shifted under his gaze and pursed her lips. He let out a sigh, “I’m here for you Meryl. I’ll be here for you no matter what.”

“Thank you, Val.”

“And… And if you ever need anything let me know. I’ll be there. I’ll also kick Maks’ ass. I’ll get everyone on it.” Meryl smiled at his continuance and leaned back in her driver side chair, turning over the engine. Val had always been a great guy and right now she’d never been more thankful she’d gotten him as a partner. He reached down and squeezed her shoulder before stepping out of the way, closing the door for her. Meryl smirked at him through the window and waved slightly. He waved back and watched her pull away.

Maybe it wasn’t okay but right now everything was alright.


	3. Okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will it all be okay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow okay so I definitely didn't plan on posting a new chapter the same day I published but, eh, things happen! I hope you guys enjoy and I hope you feel so inclined to give kudos, reviews, and follows! Thank you guys for your support- holla to my tumblr fam- this is also for you!

Meryl watched the manicured finger trace the fuzzy image on the screen, “And there…” Doctor Madison said tapping the screen, “That is your baby’s head.”

Meryl tilted her head in both wonder and fear as she tried to decipher the grainy picture in front of her. Her fingers burned to grab someone’s hand but instead she curled her fingers around the examination table aware of just how alone she was. “You are definitely pregnant,” The doctor smiled, “your little one is about 12 weeks along.”

Meryl nodded having already figuring that out on her own. She gave the woman and watery smile and watched the screen as the foreign body squirmed. She felt her chest grow warm at the sight and suddenly the pressure from the wand was off her belly and the screen was black. She shifted her attention to the doctor.

“Alright, Miss Davis. Everything looks fantastic.” Dr. Madison opened her file and scribbled something down then smiled up at her, “Do you have any questions?”

Meryl thought about the multiple searches she’d made over the past week, the different pamphlets she’d scanned in the lobby and racked her brain for a few questions. She asked a few simple ones- what she couldn’t eat and what the best routine for her to follow. When she was done with those she moved on to the question she’d been nervous to know the answer for: “I’m on a show- Dancing with the Stars, I dance different dances each week and some are more rigorous than others. Is it okay that I continue?”

Dr. Madison smiled, “I’ve seen you on that show. You are amazing. And your old partner- Maks, right? Very fun to watch.”

Meryl nodded, “Yeah, that’s the one!”

“You are in a really great physical condition and your body is used to the activity. If you’re asking will you dislodge the baby while dancing, the answer is no,” she laughed, “but, like I said- with your previous activity level I don’t have a problem with you dancing. It’s important to do what you’re comfortable with as well.”

That made her feel better. She lifted her hand to her stomach and rubbed subconsciously as she thought about the answer. She wasn’t comfortable with lifts and she wasn’t comfortable with extreme moves. She would tell Val that when she saw him at practice. “I think that’s it,” Meryl said.

“Great. I’ll want to see you back here in about four weeks and you can make an appointment with Sherry before you leave the office. Do you plan on staying in LA for the duration of your pregnancy?”

She hadn’t even thought about that. She’d still been living in Michigan when she’d moved to LA for the season. Meryl shrugged, the paper covering the examination table crinkled beneath her, “I’m not sure. I’ll probably head back to Michigan when the shows over.”

Dr. Madison jotted that down in her notes and closed the file with a smile, “Alrighty! I will have a nurse come in and clean you up and I’ll see you in four weeks.” Meryl stretched out her hand to the doctor and shook it. “Thank you,” She said softly.

With a nod the doctor left the room and Meryl was left alone again. Meryl leaned her head back against the table and let out a deep breath. The past week had been a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts; thoughts about her, the baby and Maks. She thought about the show and what would happen after and how long she could hide the pregnancy underneath the costumes and baggy shirts. The flip flopping between excitement and sadness was exhausting.

The door opened cutting into her thoughts and Dr. Madison peaked her head into the room, “Did I tell you your due date?”

Meryl furrowed her brow but smiled, “No, I don’t think so.”

“September 23rd.”

Meryl felt her mind etch that date into her mental calendar with ease. Having the date suddenly made things feel very real, the weight of the world on her shoulders had suddenly shifted into something else entirely. September 23rd. She felt herself begin to break into a huge smile. Her whole world might be changing and suddenly that was more okay than it ever had been before.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

“She said that it was fine, Val.” Meryl rolled her eyes at him and laughed as she stretched her back. He watched her nervously from the side. Meryl stood up straight and turned her head to smile at him, “I’m fine.”

He dropped his hands from his hips and shrugged, “Fine. No lifts. No extreme moves.”

“Right,” She said walking over to where her bag was and pulled out her water bottle, taking a drink. He nodded at her and she could tell there was something on the tip of his tongue but he was holding back. She narrowed her eyes at him and arched an eyebrow, “Say it.”

He opened his mouth then snapped it shut. He looked at her for a minute then sighed, “I just don’t think that we will get very far.”

Meryl searched his face and decided he was just being honest; there was no judgment in his demeanor. Meryl took another sip of her water and swished the liquid in her mouth letting the words roll around in her head at the same time. “Then,” she said evenly, “We will ride this out until we get kicked off.”

He smiled at her the raised his eye skyward, “Alright, Davis.”

She screwed the top of her water bottle on tight and dropped her water bottle back into her bag and walked to the middle of the room and looked at him, “Ready?”

The exasperated look on his face didn’t waver as he shrugged again and walked over and stood beside her, “As I’ll ever be.” He moved to his position to start practice again where they’d left off and she went into him easily, “Did you get this battery pack installed when you were a baby… or?”

She stepped on his foot playfully, “Just move Chmerkovskiy.”

They danced their Argentine Tango but in a muted version. Meryl knew as she watched them in the mirror that it seemed lack luster, and it was. It wasn’t the version that she had given them a year ago but it was what they would get now and she found that she was okay with that as well.

After a week of crying, nausea, and tension she actually felt okay. She smiled to herself when the made that realization. It flooded over her like silk- she was okay.

They came to a sudden stop when a loud bang echoed over the studio and an even louder curse followed after. Meryl dropped her arms and furrowed her brows at the sound and snapped her head to the door. “What was that?”

Before she got an answer she saw Val making strides to the door and she followed quickly behind. She saw everyone else in the studio standing in the hall with the same confused look on their face. Meryl lifted on her tip toes to look at the very end of the hall to see Maks partner sobbing as she made her way down the hall, wiping tears off her face. Another curse flew from the room the woman had just left and without thinking she made her way down the hall towards the sound.

When she made it into the room her blood boiled at the site. Maks paced back and forth across the length of the room, raking his hands threw his hair, face an alarming shade of red. A chair laid half hazard next to the brick wall- obvious that that was the thing that had made the bang that had stopped her only moments before.

“Maks,” her voice came out in a whisper.

His face shot to look into her, eyes wide. His face moved from angry to ashamed in the matter of seconds when he saw her. She swallowed the past few months and took a step further into the room. Maks staid stock still like a deer in head lights as she did that. She approached carefully afraid he’d bolt.

“Maks…” She stood in front of him, tipping her chin to meet his eyes. She knew what he needed. Her hands reached out to touch his biceps, her hands curling gently around and squeezing. He watched her silently asking permission to reach out to her. Meryl stepped into him, holding both hands on his arms and pressing her chest against his. He let out a deep breath against the top of her hair and felt him physically relax against her.

They stood there together, his pounding heart beating against her sternum slowly returning to normal. His hands found their way to her hips not pulling, not pushing, and just holding her in place. His fingers held so tightly on her hips she thought maybe they’d bruise but that was for later, right now she needed him to cool down. When the beating against her chest finally dulled she stepped away from him and took a deep breath. His hands dropped from her sides to his own with a frown and he dropped his chin against his chest, the loss of her warmth affecting him outwardly. She crossed her arms over her chest and swallowed, “What happened?” He lifted his hands to twist in his hair again but she stopped him half way up, pushing his hands down at his sides, “What happened?”

He clenched his fists at his sides, “I don’t know.”

She shook her head, “Mmhm, no. Tell me.”

He sighed and shook his head harshly, “It’s just not the same.”

She scowled at him, “That’s not an excuse.”

“I know…”

She felt her eyelids flutter and looked up the ceiling composing herself, “Maks you can’t do this.”

“I _know_.” He insisted.

“They _why_ are you doing this? You can’t scare people like that- that’s not who you are.”

He formed a line with his mouth and screwed his brow in anger, “I don’t know that. Not anymore. Maybe it is. Maybe it always was.”

She shook her head, “No. I’m not doing this either. I’m not going to play that game. This isn’t about me or us this is about you,” She moved to point a finger in his chest, “you are the only person to control your own emotions and you do _not_ throw chairs at walls.” His chest deflated at her words and anything he was going to say was out the window. She tilted her head at him in question then shook her head, “Don’t let yourself do that again.”

He let his chin fall again and he looked at the ground. She watched as he closed his eyes and took a shaky deep breath, “What should I do?”

She shrugged, “What would you do if it was me?”

He rubbed his lips together and nodded, lifting his head to the door. He shifted his eyes back to her face and searched there as if trying to find all the answers to all the questions he’s ever had, “I would go and apologize.”

She nodded and took a step back away from his space. It felt decidedly cooler when she wasn’t in his bubble and she stifled the shiver that had tried to run the length of her spine, “Then you should do that.”

He nodded once but didn’t move. Meryl wanted to step back into him, wanted to guider her hands up his chest and curl her slender fingers in the hair that tickled the nape of her neck but instead she took another step back and gestured her head to the door, “Go.”

“Meryl…” Her name on his lips sounded breathy and small and she knew he was going to apologize to her again but she didn’t want to hear it. She didn’t want to apologize again. She wanted to stay okay. She reached her hand out and ran her fingers over his hand then turned on her heals and walked out of the room leaving him behind. Each step felt like she was treading against water but she didn’t turn around. Meryl made her way back to the practice room and met Val’s eyes with a nod shoving past him. She knew Maks was behind her and she could feel eyes on her back as she disappeared into the studio again but she didn’t care, she did what she needed to do- to hell with what people would say.

A few beats later Val backed into the room and closed the door. She looked at herself in the mirror and avoided his gaze, instead she settled on, “Let’s get back to work.”

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Meryl knew after she’d cleaned up Maks’ melt down things had shifted between them again. She knew that she couldn’t avoid him anymore and that he wasn’t going to go to such lengths to stay away from her. She also knew that she had to come clean to him at some point but the issue wasn’t telling him as it was finding out where to start.

She sat in her apartment the next night watching a lifetime movie she wasn’t really paying attention to when Jenna came home. Meryl glanced back at her friend from the couch and smile, “Hey.”

“Hey. What’s up?” Jenna moved to set her purse on the table and kicked off her high-heeled sneakers dropping a few inches, “Did you eat?”

Meryl looked at the side table beside her and smirked- a package of cookies and a plate of microwaved fries sat empty beside her, “I could eat.”

Jenna went to the kitchen and got herself a glass of water then joined her in the living room, sitting on a decorative chair with her feet tucked under her, “Okay. Well...” She hesitated for a minute then pursed her lips from side to side, “Val invited me, or really _us_ to dinner.”

“Where?”

“His house,” she lifted her finger at Meryl before she could protest, “I know- I know, Maks will be there and it’ll be a whole thing but the _thing_ is we both know you need to figure out how to get along with him well enough to tell him about…” She gestured at her and Meryl raised an eyebrow.

“I’ll just make something here.”

“No,” Jenna said moving to stand, “You can come. And besides, Val is making your favorite chicken and he is even cutting out the wine-“

“Wine losses effect when its cooked,” Meryl smiled interjecting her.

Jenna gave her a ‘no kidding’ look and smiled, “I told him but he doesn’t care, anyways he wants you to come. Everyone will be there and Nicole came down and specifically asked for you to be there.”

Meryl bit the inside of her cheek and turned her attention to the TV fighting an inward battle with herself, “I’ll go.” She said smally.

“You will?” Jenna sounded even more shocked than Meryl was feeling. Meryl nodded and moved to stand, joining Jenna.

“Yeah. I will. I know I need to get this over with- or rather start it.” She rubbed her hands on her stomach, “What time?”

“It starts at 7. We can be as late as you want,” Jenna said happily.

Meryl sighed deeply and rolled her neck, “And we can leave whenever I want?”

“Absolutely.”

Forming a line with her lips Meryl moved past her. “Where are you going?” Jenna asked behind her.

“If I’m going to go to dinner I at least how to try and put clothes on,” She looked down at her leggings and baggy t shirt that she stole from Maks, “If any of my jeans still fit me.”

Jenna laughed at her and shook her head. Meryl made her way back to her room and closed the door behind her and let out a groan. She honestly had no idea why she’d agreed to go but she knew she had to. She had to tell him about the baby but first she had to at least get used to being in the same room with him again.

So, she would start with dinner and that would have to do.


	4. Nods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maks' POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Welcome back! Actually, thank you for coming back! I truly appreciate the support I've been getting for this story & I'm so glad you like it. I want to thank you in advance for the kudos, reviews, and follows! :) Love you! Always- J.

Maks stared blankly at the wall as he tore another leaf off the head of lettuce and tossed it in the strainer. He worked silently as Val turned up the radio in the living room then came back into the kitchen to check on the chicken that he’d left on the stove. “When did they say they’d get back?” Val asked over his shoulder.

Maks felt himself come back to reality and glanced over his shoulder at his brother, “Alex said they’d be back with Nicole at 6:45. He had to drop her by her hotel.” He tore another leaf of lettuce and faced forward. When he was done he threw the remains in the trash and walked to the sink then turned on the cool water letting it run over his hands first. He shifted the contents of the strainer around until he deemed the lettuce clean enough then turned away from the sink. He glanced down at what Val was working on and saw he was cooking more chicken then the five of them could eat, “You’re wasting food,” he mumbled as he passed him.

Val smirked at him and shrugged, “Nah.”

Normally Maks would argue or tease him but instead he let the pass slide and began finishing the salad. Val stopped working on the food in front of him, “What? No comment?”

Maks shrugged, but didn’t turn to face him, “No.”

Val abandoned his station to walk over to him and leaned his backside against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest and looked harsh at his older brother, “Maks… You need to talk?”

He didn’t meet his eyes, “I just want to make this salad.” He saw his brother shake his head from the corner of his eye but he didn’t offer him a reaction. He didn’t want to. He couldn’t make himself pass the threshold into normalcy even if he tried. His life hadn’t been normal for a long time.

“I just want to help, bro.”

“I know,” He said quieter than normal. He paused his actions and braced his hands on the counter then met his brother’s eyes for a second, “I don’t know how.”

Val considered this for a moment leaving only the sounds of classical music to hang in the air. Val shifted his weight to cross one leg over another as he leaned, “Would me talking about her help?”

For a second he thought about saying no. He thought about how the pain might turn back into a rearing burn after it had just recently became a low ache, he thought about the possibility of only swinging lower into his depth of darkness but instead he chose to nod.

“She’s really good. Better than good,” Val started, “She is as determined as ever- hasn’t lost her spirit. And she’s feisty now. I think she got that from you,” He smiled awkwardly, testing the waters. When he saw Maks hadn’t flinched he continued, “She stands up for herself. I can’t be aggressive like I was before. And… She lets herself be tired more. I think that was you, too.” Maks felt the corners of his lips twitch at that. He’d told her many times over the course of their mini-lifetime together that she was only human. He’d find her trying to push too hard too often and he’d talk her down.

“She gets sad sometimes too…” Val’s voice softened from teasing to thick, “Sometimes she gets lost- like… you can see it in her eyes… It happens at weird times and only for a few seconds and then she’s back. But it does happen. Her eyes go… blank.” Maks looked over at him and read his expression. He’d bet Val was imagining when she’d do that. Val dipped his chin against his chest and shrugged, “But then she’s back. I think it’s a mask, you know?”

Maks knew. He knew that when she was really hurt- when she was cut to the bone she’d retreat into herself then cover it with a band aid of false bravado. She’d put on an award winning act that she was perfectly okay but just below the surface she was the opposite. A forced hit his chest and he closed his eyes knowing he’d done that to her- that they’d done it to each other.

“Does she ever step on your feet?” He asked just as quietly as before.

Val tilted his head back and forth, “About as much as I step on hers.”

He let a small smile play on his lips as he nodded. Though the show had only caught it once, by the end of their season together he had enough heel marks on the top of his foot to count on two hands. At the time he’d hated but now it was almost a fond memory. She’d apologize by wrapping her arms tightly around his midsection and giggling, her breath hit his chest. Maks ran a hand over his face and scrubbed at the scruff on his jaw, “She’s good at that.”

Val turned back to his chicken a moment later leaving Maks to finish up his task. After the salad was covered and in the refrigerator he gathered the plates from the cabinet and headed into the dining room, setting the table for dinner. There was a knock at the door and he let Val get it as he was closer. He heard Jenna’s voice as it came from the alcove and muffled into silence as she went into the kitchen. Maks didn’t stop to go and greet her knowing that if he walked into the kitchen it’d probably be one of them hanging off the other or them making googley eyes at each other but when asked they denied any form of relationship. When he finished setting out the silver wear he turned to go into the living room to find his lighter to light the candles that were placed in the middle of the table but stopped dead in his tracks. Meryl stood there with a sheepish grin on her face holding a set of plates and utensils in her hands, “Val said that you only took five places in here,” she lifted the things in her hands, “I said I’d help… If that’s okay.”

He gawked at her hoping he wasn't having hallucinations and when she’d moved he’d remembered he hadn’t responded. Maks nodded quickly and stepped aside and gestured to the table, “Of course. If I knew you were coming I would have set you a place…”

“ _It’sfinereally_ ,” She said rapidly, “I don’t mind.” She gave a small smile then stepped around him and walked to the far end of the oak slab, making a spot for herself at the dinner table. The room was heavy between them, the unspoken words that had been left on their tongues looming about like a heavy raincloud. Maks hadn’t moved from the spot he’d been in when he initially saw her standing in the doorway but his head had turned to watch her. She was deliberate with her movements but he could still see the slight tremor in her hands.

“How have you been?” He asked, finally finding his voice.

She kept her eyes down, “I’ve been good. You?”

“I’ve been okay.”

She nodded at him seemingly understanding what’d he’d meant. She finished fussing over the things in front of her then knotted her hands together on the back of the chair, “How’s Brooke doing?”

Maks clenched his jaw at the topic of the show. He was dancing with Brooke Burke- she’d won on season seven and she wearily accepted his partnership on the show. She was there for some of his previous meltdowns and unfortunately for both of them he’d resorted back to old habits. She’d left the show before and only came back at a last minute begging due to the shifting in partners and not to mention a hefty compensation.

“She’s fine.” He said shortly, immediately regretting his reply, he rushed to continue, “I apologized yesterday… She accepted.” Meryl took her bottom lip between her teeth and nodded. She nodded more- like she didn’t know what to say to him. He kept going, not wanting to let the conversation to null, “She dances well. I think we’ll do okay.”

“Good,” She said evenly, her hands slid across the back of the chair in front of her, “That’s good, Maks.” Hearing his name from her lips made his heart clench. She looked around the room and her eyes stuck on something on the floor. A small smile crept on her lips, “Is Sleep here?”

Maks followed her eyes and saw what had caught her attention- a fake newspaper squeaky toy abandoned off to the side of the dining room. He moved his eyes back to her and saw the hint of excitement and couldn’t help by smile, “Yeah, he’s probably sleeping.” Maks took a step back and pointed his thumb over his shoulder, “Do you… uh, wanna see him?”

Meryl’s gaze went from the toy to his face and she gave him a smile. It was hesitant but it was a real smile- one he hadn’t seen in such a long time he’d almost forgotten the power of it. Almost. “He’s back here.” Maks turned and left the dining room and headed down the long hall to the very end bedroom, his bedroom, and opened the already cracked door the rest of the way, “He obtained a bad habit of sleeping in my bed.”

She looked up at him as she entered the room, and gave him an unapologetic look, “Sorry.”

Meryl was the reason Sleep had gotten used to lying in beds- Meryl insisted on having the chunky bulldog in the bed with them, informing him that dogs got cold on cold winter nights no matter if they have fur or not. Even after she’d left he couldn’t bring himself to make Sir Sleep sleep on the ground, the familiar press of the dog against his legs was a friendly reminder of times he’d missed.

If he’d had been a dog he was positive that he would have reacted the same way Sleep had when he’d seen Meryl. Meryl padded lightly over to the pup doing her best not to raise him from his slumber before she’d gotten to him. She lightly rubbed on the top of his bulky head and leaned down to kiss him gently where her hand had been. Sleep opened his eyes and in the instant he’d recognized Meryl’s face he was on all fours, whining and rubbing his head against her chest. Meryl laughed and wrapped her arms around him, “Hey buddy!” Sleep raised himself up by putting his front paws on her shoulders, the happy whining coming nonstop since he’d laid eyes on his favorite person. Her laugh bubbled from her behind her lips and landed straight on his chest making it burn. He’d missed that. He’d missed everything. Maks leaned against the doorframe of his room just watching his best friend and the love of his life- no matter how estranged- reunite. He rolled his eyes at himself trying to force out the fact that his dog got a better reunion than he did.

He watched as she moved to sit down on the bed and the dog plopped down directly in her lap, in heaven. She smiled down at him and nuzzled his neck, “How are you boy?”

“He missed you,” Maks said pointing out the obvious.

Meryl smiled up at him softly, “I missed him.”

Somehow she’d gotten even more beautiful since the last time she was there, in his room. She had a soft ethereal glow about her, her skin was still porcelain looking and his fingers itched to reach out and brush her cheek. He remembered how she’d felt not only on her cheek but her hips, her legs, her hands when they slid into his. Maks swallowed. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d missed something so much. The three of them sat in his room for a few minutes longer until he heard the door open again.

Maks looked over his shoulder down the hall crooning his ear to confirm his suspicion, “Sounds like Alex and Nicole are here.”

Meryl looked up at him as if she’d forgotten he was there and then looked down at the dog giving him one last kiss, “Alright Sir, I’ll come say goodbye before I leave.” She moved the dog to the side and stood brushing the hairs off of her black leggings with a wry smile. He followed her out of the his room and down the hallway, when they reached the dining room Meryl headed straight for the new arrivals but he caught her elbow right in time, “Hey if you, uh, ever want to just come by and, ya know- see Sleep just let Val know. I don’t mind.”

He wasn’t fool enough to think that she’d kept his number or that she was even willing to take it now. Her eyes moved from their friends to his face and down to where his hand held her elbow and back, “Uh, yeah… Yeah I’d like that.” She gently pulled her elbow back and tilted the sides of her mouth at him, “Thanks.”

Progress. Towards what? He wasn’t sure. He nodded quickly and tucked his chin suddenly embarrassed. He rubbed the back of his neck, clearing his throat then moved to say hello to Alex. Maks clapped his friend’s shoulder loudly steering his attention anywhere but to her.

xxxxxxxxx

Dinner was relatively uneventful. They’d eaten all the food that’d been made and Alex had taken Nicole back to her hotel after a long day of traveling she’d been ready to go home and sleep. The four of them that were left took the time to clear the tables- the girls cleared the dishes into the dishwasher while Val and Maks scrubbed at the pots and pans. Together they’d gotten the chores done quickly and to Maks relief the tension that was between him and Meryl lessoned with each hour they spent in the same room. Although not completely gone he could finally look at Meryl without his heart racing and she seemed to be able to smile easier.

“Let’s play a game or something,” Jenna said closing the dishwasher, “I have that game- I think it’s like charades on my phone. I saw it on Ellen.”

Val shrugged, “I’m down. I’ll grab a beer.” Maks felt his eyes naturally fall on Meryl as if it was still his job to make sure she was willing to play the game as well. She looked tired and judging by the hand on her stomach, overly full. He watched as the two girls shared a silent conversation. Those had always bugged him when they did that. He knew they used to do it as well but with touch and eye contact, a language now forgotten. Meryl gave her friend a reassuring smile, “Sounds okay.”

Maks grabbed a beer for himself and they all made their way onto the patio. Although it was still cold outside for LA they had decided that the porch was the place to do it. He turned on the outdoor heater for extra comfort and took his place across from the girls and next to Val on the sofas. Jenna fiddle with her phone and pulled the game up, “Okay so who’s on whose team?”

 “I’ll take Meryl.” Val said.

Jenna quirked an eyebrow at him, “Thanks.”

He shrugged flintily at her and tried to hide a wink. Maks felt himself roll his eyes and to his surprise he heard Meryl laugh. She was watching him and must have seen his reaction to their flirting. He smiled back at her and for a minute they seemed to be back in time; openly looking at each other- sickly sweet smiles pressed to their faces but the spell had been broken quickly. She cleared her throat and looked over at Val, “I have to warn you- I’m really good. And competitive so you better match my level.”

“We’re clearly the ones to beat,” He smiled. Jenna scoffed at their exchange then began explaining the simple directions: one person on the team holds their phone to their forehead and the other has to give words to make them guess, when they guess right the person flipped the phone down to go to the next word. The most flips in thirty seconds wins. Maks decided that they would go first. Jenna held the phone to her head and they’d gotten through 4 cards. Val and Meryl went next surpassing them by 2. They high fived each other and handed the phone back. After a few rounds the pairs where in a tie.

“Uh… Uh… Furry!” Maks shook his head at her and furrowed his brow, holding his hand out, “Dog?”

“No! Uhm, Big! Angry!” Jenna bounced up and down in her chair motioning obscurely with her hands, “I don’t know! Animal of some sort?”

Jenna nodded furiously, “Uhm… Many types!”

He raised his eyebrows and widened his eyes, “Not helping!”

She groaned out loud, “Come on Maks!”

“Pass-“ He began to say pulling the phone down.

“We’d name our dog this.” Her voice seemed smaller than normal. Maks’ eyes snapped over to her and then he froze, “Bear.”

“Yes!” Jenna said jumping up from her seat. Val raised his hands to his head and slumped against the coach in defeat knowing that they’d won the game overall. While two people where both celebrating and mourning the game they both seemed stuck. Maks stared at her blankly and for some reason his heart hammered against his chest, the sound of his blood pumped in his ears. He felt his neck grow hot but didn’t break eye contact from her. He saw now that maybe she was glowing but she also looked like she had been carrying the weight of a thousand worlds on her shoulders. She seemed tired and weary of the world around her and there was a vacancy in her eyes he’d never seen before. That was the look Val had told him about.

That look made him wants to go to her and gather her in his arms, pull her against his chest so she could feel how alive she made him feel. He wanted to make her feel better in every sense of the word and he wanted to not stop trying until she was better. That look made his blood run cold.

Jenna moved between them breaking the spell, “That was fun,” She said directing her words at Val for the moment. She smiled at Maks then turned to Meryl, “You ready to go?”

Meryl nodded and stood without a word. Jenna turned to them sighed, “It’s been fun guys.”

Maks stood and nodded, “Thanks for coming. Both of you.” He tilted his head to see past her and at Meryl. She looked him up and down and tilted the sides of her mouth at him again- not a fully smile but one that said she was trying.

“We’ll walk you to the door,” Val said being the last to stand. He walked past Jenna and elbow her playfully and she turned on her heals to follow. Meryl followed behind giving Maks enough time to go catch up.

“I mean it,” He said, his voice low enough just for her to hear.

She looked over her shoulder, “I’m glad I came.”

That made him feel better. A lot better. One side of his mouth smiled, “Listen I know that what happened…”

She stopped so abruptly that he almost collided into her back, “Maks. I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” She ran her fingers threw her long dark hair and sighed, “I just… I just want to move past it. I don’t want to feel like I have to hide from you. At one point being with you was the most natural thing in the world and to have to pretend like I can’t even stand to be in the same room with you is getting exhausting.”

“If I keep dwelling on this it’ll swallow me whole. We can’t go back but we can move forward. Whatever that means for us- for what we are or will be- that’s for us to decide. But I’m still really mad at you and I’m still really mad at myself.” She looked towards the direction of his front door, “I have to go.”

Before he could get one word in she was walking briskly out of his world once again but this time she’d left something. Unlike before when she’d gone she’d closed the door, now there was a window. Maks stood in his living room enveloped in silence and the words she’d said sinking into his skin. She was right, whatever they are or will be, and god he’d hoped there would be a will be, was up to them and if he had anything to say about it, he’d never let her go again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Maksy! I hope y'all enjoyed! :)


	5. Fig

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 28\. Fig. Pea Pod. and Understanding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So here is chapter 5! This one is not how I originally planned but hey- I actually really like this one. I hope it portrays the uneasiness of this for them and the vibe is how I believe it would be. Anyways- I hope y'all enjoy! Love you! Always- J.  
> Along with Gretchen and Tumblr Fam this one is for Pops- Happy Birthday!

Meryl held Val’s hand as he snaked through the crowded backstage area muttering under his breath, “Really? 28? They gave that singer a fucking 32 for that mess of a jive.”

Meryl pursed her lips and ignored his chatter as she scanned the backstage area for the closest restroom. She narrowed her eyes scanning the top of the walls and let out a relieved sigh when she saw a sign pointing ‘Restrooms’ with an arrow to the left, “Hey Val…”

“And they gave you, Meryl _freakin’_ Davis a 28! That’s such bullshit-”

“Val.” She did her best to jerk out of his grasp but he only held on tighter, her destination growing closer and closer.

“Now I’m not kidding myself into thinking we had a 40 pointer, it was basic, but-“

“Val!” She said louder. He kept pulling and her eyes kept getting wider. “But the _technicality!”_ Meryl planted her feet as soon as they arrived under the sign she’d set as her mark, pulling Val into a sharp stop. He looked back with a knitted brow, “What are you-“

Meryl stopped him by pointing her finger above her head and tilted her head in annoyance. He should have been able to read her mind. No, that wasn’t rational and no- she didn’t care. She didn’t say a word as she marched- or rather ran- back to the ladies room. Being pregnant was hard. She’d swore that the baby had taken her bladder and held it hostage making her go pee at least every hour, places were growing bigger every day, and she could eat at least three hotdogs at any given time- she was sure of it. And she didn’t even like hot dogs. Meryl walked out to the sinks and washed her hands quickly then met Val back where she’d left him.

She had to give it to him, he may only be the uncle of her baby but he was taking the brunt of the beating and taking it like a champ. They’d come to a routine; if she left him somewhere, he’d wait for her, if she wanted to sleep, practice was over, and if she was hungry he was on the phone getting her food of some sort. And her mood swings… She wasn’t even going there. Meryl shook her head at her thoughts and went to stand beside him then squeezed his elbow, “Okay. Ready.”

Val grabbed her hand and continued right where he’d left off, “The routine was spotless, Merchka.”

“It was plain.”

“But I don’t remember even one slip up- it was so solid.” Val lamented. Meryl held back a groan. He was right; their routine had gone exceptionally well but it wasn’t season 18 Meryl Davis. It was secretly pregnant with one of the show’s pros/ex-boyfriend and was scared the hell out of even sleeping on her stomach let alone lift me-spin me-and-drop me Meryl Davis.

They kept walking through the sea of crew members and staff, winding their way back to the dressing room to get back into their street clothes. They’d said goodbye to their first elimination tonight; a soap star with a bigger attitude than work ethic then did the interviews afterwards and finally, three hour later, got ready to leave. She was exhausted, “How did you get here?” Val said over his shoulder.

Meryl quirked an eyebrow at him and laughed, “Don’t worry. Jenna drove me. Although I still don’t get why you think it’s such a bad idea for me to drive myself.”

“Because you barely drive anywhere let alone LA, its dark out and,” he looked over his shoulder at her and gestured to her belly, voice lowered, “I share DNA in there.”

Meryl grimaced at him and upturned her nose, “That’s disgusting Val.”

He winked at her then stuck out his tongue and she rolled her eyes. When they finally made it to the dressing room most of the dancers and pros were clearing out. Meryl walked over to her bag instantly and picked up her yoga pants and hoodie, ready to shed off the tight tango outfit. Jenna had intercepted her en-route and Meryl took her arm, “I’m so ready to go home.”

“I can tell, jeez. You’re draggin’ butt, sister.” Jenna nudged her ribs playfully, “So I thought of something very interesting.” The two of them got to the changing room and Meryl reached for the door, “Oh yeah? What’s that?”

Jenna followed behind her friend and plopped down in the corner of the room as Meryl began shedding the costume. The material stuck against her skin and formed a thin layer of grime across her body. She clenched her jaw and pulled.

“I have a nickname for your little… bombshell.” Jenna grinned mischievously. Meryl narrowed her eyes at her friend and laughed, “Okay,” She said, “Can’t wait to hear this one.”

“Fig.”

Meryl furrowed her brow at her friend and considered her skeptically, “Fig?”

Jenna nodded, “Yeah! Fig- okay, hear me out. Okay.” Jenna adjusted to sit on her heels obviously already had already thought of the whole speech, “Right now your little… “bombshell,”” Jenna wiggled her eyebrows inferring bombshell equals baby, “is the size of a fig. How conspicuous can it be if we just talk using food? Like, I can say, ‘Hey Mer, how’s that fig?’ and boom!” Jenna looked at her expectantly. Meryl started to laugh and shake her head then Jenna cut her off, “Wait! And each week- to not raise suspicion we can call it another food-reference size. Like next week we would call it pea pod.”

Meryl tried to hold back her expression from looking like she had two heads by throwing on her hoodie, “You want me to reference my baby as a type of food?”

Jenna gave her a look that roughly translated into, ‘obviously’ and Meryl felt herself smile. Like Val the past two weeks has been rough on her best friend. Jenna wasn’t afraid to help with morning sickness and had even begun making their grocery list to “pregnancy friendly.” Meryl nodded her head and picked up her discarded clothing then looked at her friend lovingly, “Sure, Jenna.”

Jenna beamed at her as they walked out but slowed to a stop when she saw Val slumped down in the chair with Maks looming over him, a terse look on his face. Meryl glanced at Jenna and raised her eyebrows. Jenna shook her head in question and they gradually walked up to the brothers.

“… Better things from a brochure.” Maks crossed his arms over his chest and waited for a response. Val licked his lips and fiddled with his phone clearly not paying attention to what his brother was saying, “It’s what it is, Maks. I can’t change it now.”

“What even lead you to do that routine?” Maks’ accent became thicker the longer he was talking and Meryl bit her bottom lip. When his accent got thicker the more annoyed he was getting. She cleared her throat and caught the attention of the two men in front of her, “Hi.”

Maks uncrossed his arms and stuffed his fists in his pockets, “Hey, Meryl.”

Meryl smiled weakly at him and narrowed her eyes shifting her gaze between the two, “Everything okay here?”

Val studied his brother, “Fine.”

Maks nodded at the same time, “Fine.”

She searched their faces; Val looked annoyed and hurt while Maks looked frustrated and confused. The two brothers didn’t agree even half the time but she’d had a feeling she’d known what this argument was about: her. Meryl shifted uncomfortably knowing that she was the source of the argument, “Guys.”

“It’s nothing Meryl.” Val said back evenly. She narrowed her eyes at him trying to judge how true his words were. He raised his eyebrows at her and slightly shook his head. Clearly he didn’t want to talk about it. Meryl scowled then nodded her head shifting her attention to Maks.

She’d be lying if she said that even now after the dinner that seeing him didn’t get a reaction from her but at least she could be within the same proximity as him without her skin feeling too small for her body. She scanned him fully taking in his hunched and tight shoulders and worry line creasing his forehead. Without thinking “Can we talk?” Slid from her lips.

The three people around her looked a little taken aback by the request. She smiled at her two friends reassuringly then back to Maks. He tilted his head, “Of course.”

“Would you mind giving me a ride home? We can talk then.”

xxxxxxxxxxx

So maybe him giving her a ride home wasn’t her best plan. Meryl ground her teeth as she looked out the front window. They hadn’t said anything yet and the tension she’d thought had dissipated started to bloom again. The radio was down and the sound of LA was the only thing that kept them from total silence. In truth, she didn’t know where to start. She chanced a glaze over at him and instantly regretted it. He had the side of his thumb to his mouth, nervously biting it and he looked tired. His eyes stared straight ahead obviously trying their damnedest to not slip to his right.

“You still do that when you’re nervous.” It wasn’t a question. Maks finally looked over at her quickly and dropped his thumb a pitiful smile on his lips. She smiled at him reassuringly and shrugged, “That, or you tug your hair or rub your lips.”

A breathy laughed escaped his lips, “Yeah. I do. I didn’t even notice I was doing it.”

She watched him again, quietly observing the man who’d changed her life in more ways than she could count. She knew that he could feel her eyes on him but to his credit he didn’t ask her to stop; he was stiff again but trying his best to relax. Maks thick thatch of hair was a little too long and he hadn’t trimmed his beard this morning. She smiled as she saw a little grey at his temples.

“So, do you want to tell me about what happened back there?”

He rubbed his jaw and shrugged, “I was just giving him some tips.”

“On dancing?” She asked.

“Yeah… I just wanted to give him some tricks I used.”

The first question she had been what tricks but she pushed it aside. She was there to talk about Val and nothing else, “Val’s doing a great job.”

He raised his eyebrows at that and almost rolled his eyes, “I can tell.”

“What? He is.” She insisted.

“You got a 28.”

She ignored his flat unimpressed tone, “But the routine was solid.”

“Meryl Davis doesn’t get 28s.”

Meryl furrowed her brow at him and shook her head, “I don’t care what I get.”

“Then why are you even here?”

She reared her head back at him and scoffed, “Excuse me?”

“It’s a competition, Meryl. Week one you were on point and now this? You can’t tell me you’re happy with that.” He looked at her like she was telling the biggest lie he’d ever seen. Meryl crossed her arms over her chest, “I am. I’m proud of what we did.”

He fully rolled his eyes this time, “I know what you can do and that wasn’t it.”

“Don’t act like you _know_ me. You don’t.” She said venomously. The words flooded out of her mouth before she could stuff them back in and when she saw the jolt in his eyes she knew that she’d cut him. She swallowed, “Sorry.”

His jaw was slacked as if he’d been smacked. Meryl reached out to grab his forearm and reeled back when he flinched at her touch. A wave of emotion washed over her and she stammered, “Maks… I… That was wrong… I… Oh, Maks.”

“You’re right,” He said quietly but stern.

“I’m not,” She said instantly. The whiplash of the moment hit her like a freight train. One moment she was trying to shove him away and insist that he was wrong and the next she felt like crawling in a hole and say I’m sorry over and over until it was threaded into his DNA, “I didn’t mean that.”

She watched as he slowly closed off. He didn’t reply to her and the silence sliced through her. It was worse when it was quiet. She clenched her fists in her lap and looked out the window trying her best to level any emotions that had swelled to the surface. Meryl rubbed her eyes with her fists and sighed, “How did we end up here again?”

She didn’t expect an answer mainly because she knew neither of them had it. She bit her lip and leaned against the seat knowing there was at least another fifteen minutes until they reached Jenna’s house. She closed her eyes tightly and wished more than anything sleep would happen but also knew it wouldn’t. After a long stretch of silence, “Are you okay?”

Meryl’s eyes flung open and she snapped her head to Maks, “What?”

“Are you feeling sick?” She furrowed her brow at him and followed his nod of his head down to her stomach. She was rubbing her tummy again and she hadn’t even noticed. Her hand froze and she slowly curled her fingers into a fist.

“Oh, yeah. I just,” she hesitated, “I’m not feeling great.” She swallowed the cotton that had formed in her throat hoping that the panic that had risen in her chest didn’t appear on her face.

“Do you need anything?” The coldness of his voice simmered to something of concern, “Need me to stop?”

She shook her head, “I’m okay.” He glanced back and for from the road to her the crease of worry back on his forehead. She smiled softly at his profile as her chest constricted. She knew she hurt him before with her words but he still worried about her, even now, “Thank you.”

He nodded facing forward, “Mhm.”

She could have told him now. She maybe should have but instead she leaned more into herself letting herself pretend that things were back to normal. They were just driving home. Her fantasy came to a halt when they’d arrived at Jenna’s building. To her surprise he parked his car. She waited for him to say whatever it was he needed to.

His hands clenched the steering wheel hard enough to make his knuckles white and the leather to creak under the force, “Meryl…”

She bit the inside of her cheek and closed her eyes letting her name slide from his lips and into her chest. She didn’t respond but instead listened to his breathing. “Meryl. I know I shouldn’t intervene with you or Val, I don’t have that privilege anymore… But I just- when I saw you tonight and then on Thursday and… I don’t know.” He sounded so defeated, “I guess my head knows that but my heart won’t accept that. It won’t accept that you’ve been gone. I’ve been living in this fucking haze, ya know?”

And she did. She knew. She had felt like she was walking a line of consciousness and coasting for a long time. She nodded in response and urged for him to continue.

“Anyways,” His voice was less thick, “I guess what I’m trying to say is that I don’t know who you are- I don’t know who you are _now_. And if you let me, I would like to.”

She sucked in a stuttered breath between her teeth. Whatever she’d expect him to say that wasn’t it. It took a minute but she let herself nod, “I would like to know you too.”

She could feel the break in the air. He let out shaky breath. She felt another weight slide off her shoulders and roll down her back and a little more air fill her lungs. She looked at him and leveled their gaze, “I just want you to know that things have changed for me, I know that it’s only been three months but… but they have gave me a lot of time to think and- other things too.”

He nodded curtly, “I have too. But I’m willing to try.”

Her hand ached to reach out and wrap her hand around his but she kept them to her sides. She licked her lips and nodded, “I think I am too.”

He smiled. A smile that knocked the wind out of her lungs for a second and made her stomach flutter. She averted her eyes and reached for the door handle, “I better go... Good night.” Meryl smiled gently into the air then shoved off out of the car and reached back to grab her bag.

“Good night,” He replied. She began to push the door closed when he called back, “hey!” Meryl stopped. Surprised, she leaned down and looked into the car, “Would you wanna go on a date, with me, sometime?”

She tilted her head and placed a small playful smile on her lips and tsked, “Sometime.” She stood before he could respond and started to close the door then stopped herself. She almost scolded herself for not leaving him with that answer but she wanted to get this out, “Maks, I hope you know I really am in good hands with Val. I loved our routine and he did what I asked. It was _my_ idea to play safe.”

He seemed to let that thought roll around in his mind for a minute, trying to make it stick, and then he nodded, “I understand.”

Satisfied, she closed the door at that and turned to run into the building, all the sudden feeling very, very tired. As she reached in the door and punched in the passcode on the keypad the only thing that she could think was, _“You have no idea…”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's true! I found out that at 12 week a baby is the size of a fig and then at 13 weeks a pea pod! Isn't that cute? Jenna is my spirit animal. I would totally do this to my friend if I was in that position. PS I hope that it came across that Meryl was being protective of Val. I wanted that bc I think she would be in this situation!
> 
> haha! Oh! and Happy birthday Maksim! I hope you all the best for your 35th year! (And happy birthday father passion- happy 54 years, dad!)
> 
> Thank you in advance for any kudos, reviews and subscribes! You guys continue to shock me with this support! :)


	6. O’Donnell’s

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s been a long time coming. Starting fresh can’t be that hard, right? Meryl and Maks take a step back in time to try and rediscover each other and find out who they are now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Chapter 6! How cool is this? I definitely didn’t plan on updating again today but, hey, things happen! ;) Before I let you loose I just wanted to thank y’all again for your support and awesome comments both here and on Tumblr. They truly keep me going!

“It’s way too much.”

Meryl turned from side to side looking at herself in the full length mirror. She had her long dark hair up in a towel and a two piece ensemble; a tight black skirt and a flowing floral shirt with a pair of bright flats shoved in her hands to match.

“It’s perfect, Meryl.” Jenna smiled, standing back admiring her handy work. Meryl matched her eyes in the mirror and raised an eyebrow. “J, we are just going to dinner. Nothing else.”

“Who says?” She asked pointedly. Meryl couldn’t help but laugh. She adjusted the skirt, pulling it down, and ran her hand over her ever growing tummy. Her stomach poked out now, only a little and nothing to be suspicious about but made her weary none the less. She was going to have to tell him soon whether she liked it or not.

“Pretty soon I won’t be able to wear normal clothes.”

“Even more of a reason to wear it tonight,” Jenna walked to stand beside her and grinned but the smile fell when she saw the unhappiness that was hidden beneath her words, “We’ll figure it.”

Meryl nodded. She knew that what she said was true; with the people that she loved at her side she would be fine no matter the outcome of tonight, tomorrow, or 6 months from now. Meryl did a final once over. She’d wear it. Folding herself over at her waist she pulled the towel off of her head and stood, letting the damp hair fall over her shoulders, “Is it weird that I’m nervous?”

Jenna had moved from her side and over to Meryl’s bed, laying down checking her phone. Jenna glanced up and shook her head, “No. It would probably be weirder if you weren’t nervous. There’s a lot riding on it.”

Meryl suppressed an inward groan, “Thanks for the reminder.”

Jenna shrugged behind her and went back to her phone. She had to love that about her friend- she was honest to a fault but somehow still sickly sweet. No wonder Val was so into her. Val and Jenna were never in a relationship but somehow one just knew that they would end up together. Once Val had settled down she was sure they’d both stop denying each other that- but for now they were both fine and that’s what mattered.

Meryl looked at her bedside table and tried to bat back the butterflies that had taken up residence in the pit of her stomach. Maks would be there to pick her up in half an hour and she still had to blow dry her hair and slap on some makeup. Meryl slid from the bedroom to her on suite leaving the door open. She quickly blow dried her hair and ran her fingers through it and some foundation, a quick slip of mascara and eyeliner and she was done.

Contrary to her outfit, tonight was a dinner. Even if they were calling it a date they still weren’t together and that’s just how it was. Meryl worked around the room keeping herself busy while her friend watched her, “Relax Mer.”

Meryl had been nervously worrying her lip but hadn’t noticed until Jenna called her out on it. Meryl smiled at her friend and let out a breath she hadn’t known she was holding. Meryl moved her mouth to speak but was stopped short by a light rapping at the front door. Meryl felt her eyes widen slightly then straightened her spine. Jenna moved from the bed and passed her, walking out of her room, “Good luck!” She teased over her shoulder.

Meryl swallowed loudly and walked to the front door. Even though she’d known who was standing on the other side of the door she couldn’t help but be a little surprised. He stood there, sheepish grin firmly in place, hands stuffed in his pockets, “Hey.”

“Hi,” She replied softly, “What? No flowers?”

“Oh…” She watched as his face went from nervous excited to nervous worried. She laughed at that, probably out of nerves and quickly shook her head, “Oh, no I was only kidding!”

He let out a shaky chuckle and leaned back, “Oh, okay. Ha.”

She tilted her head at him. She would be lying if she said that his nervousness didn’t help. To see that he was just as anxious as she was- if not a little more- made her nerves settle slightly, “Ready?”

“Ready,” He said taking a step back clearing path for her. She smiled at closed the door behind her feeling a little naked. She’d left her phone and purse in the apartment on purpose. She didn’t want anything distracting her.

They walked down the flight of stairs in silence and when they reached the landing he opened the door for her. She thanked him and walked out into the street and stopped when she saw a limo waiting in the middle of the suburban street. She felt herself smile and knit her eyebrows together. He’d found his way to her side and waited for her reaction.

“You got us a limo?”

He searched her face and nodded hesitantly, “Is it too much?”

It was, but she wouldn’t tell him that. She pursed her lips and shrugged, “You forgot the flowers.”

He let out a small laugh, his nervous tension breaking and she swayed making her shoulder hit his side. He smiled down at her and probably out of natural reaction his hand found the small of her back. Meryl felt herself stiffen, only slightly, then relaxed against his palm; the feeling both oddly familiar and completely foreign at the same time, like de-ja-vue. She followed his soft guiding to the car and got in. The ride to the restaurant was silent again, but not as uncomfortable as before.

When they pulled up the building she saw where they were. She bit back a goofy smile as she saw that they had come to the one place in LA that was completely theirs. O’Donnell’s. It was a bar hidden under the busy streets of downtown, completely tucked away and something you’d expect to see in a ‘40s gangster movie sans the smoke from cigars. They’d found their way down the steps one night hiding from paparazzi. At first they were just waiting for the mass to pass but when Meryl had seen a peek inside she had become enchanted.

They went to O’Donnell’s by themselves and never told anyone else in the family about their secret spot. It was nice to have something only for them and right now, in this current moment, that secret had never been more appealing. Meryl looked over at Maks and shook her head, looking at him incredulously, “I’ve missed this place.”

“Me too,” He said as they got out of the car. His hand had taken residence at the base of her spine again making her feel warm.

“Have you been here since…” She didn’t finish her thought, knowing he’d catch on.

“Nope,” He said clearly, “Wouldn’t be the same.”

She caught her bottom lip between her teeth and looked down at the ground unsure of what to say. For a second she wanted to pinch him and tell him to stop saying and doing all the right things, it was easier to be weary when he was doing the opposite, but she didn’t. They walked down the old brick stairs and walked into the dimly lit bar. They were seated in the back of the room at a small booth. She smiled as she ran her hand over the crushed velvet of the chair below her, “This place is so charming.”

He nodded at her and passed her the menu, “It’s a blast. On the website they said there would be a jazz band tonight.”

“Really? That’s so cool…” She scanned the room again and immersed herself in culture of the old bar. The small tea light candle in a red hurricane flickered on their table next to a single flower in a vase casting a warm feeling into their space, “I always thought this place was like a portal to a step back in time.”

He was watching her. She could feel his heavy gaze on her cheeks and shifted to meet them. She was smiling slightly but it flickered when she met his; he was looking at her like he used to- like she was some enigma. Like she had hung the stars. “Stepping back in time seems pretty appealing.”

She shook her head and faced forward, “Maks…”

“I know,” He said quickly, “We aren’t going to talk about it.”

She glanced down at the table and saw his hands resting there and without giving it a second thought she reached up and placed her hand over his. His skin was warm and soft beneath hers reminding her of the way they felt on her. She shifted but only pressed her hand harder against his, “I want to know you now.”

He was looking down at their hands but nodded. She let her hand rest against his for another second then pulled it back into her lap. She angled her chin and pulled her eyebrows up giving her best studious look, “So, tell me, Maksim Chmerkovskiy…. Who are you?”

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

“I swear!” She laughed pushing her hand against her chest. She wiped the tear that had threatened to fall down her face with the other hand and sniffed. She hadn’t laughed that hard in a long time.

The plates of food had come and gone and they’d been sitting in the booth for over two hours and there were no signs of leaving. The waitress came by every once in a while refilling their glasses and offering desserts. Meryl denied both but now was wishing for a piece of chocolate cake.

Maks sighed shaking his head; his smile from laughing was still plastered firmly on his face. Meryl leaned back against the velvet and looked at him. The difference in his appearance from just last week was dramatic; he didn’t have as many lines of his face and he looked at little but more alive with the color on his cheeks. She narrowed her eyes at him, “Do you miss New York?”

Maks shrugged, “Yeah. But, I’ll be back soon.”

“You aren’t staying in LA?”

“Whenever Brooke gets voted off? No. I’m actually, uh, selling the apartment over here.”

“You are?” She could barely believe it. Her thoughts turned to his New York house and she flushed, “What about your New York place? Isn’t that on the market?”

He shook his head, “No, someone’s bought that.”

Meryl felt her throat close. She shouldn’t have brought that up. The only reason Maks had put his house of the market in New York was with the intention of moving in with her. Of course they’d never gotten that far but she still felt incredibly guilty. His voice invaded her thoughts, “But I got a place, so no big deal.”

“You did? Where?”

“Do you remember that house in SoHo?” She felt her neck burn but nodded her head, “Yeah, the three bedrooms?”

“That one,” He took another sip of his beer, “I actually bought that.”

She stared at him. That one was her favorite. He’d hated that apartment. It was in the youngest, busiest, and most expensive district and not what he called, “family-oriented” but she loved the charm, vibe, and atmosphere. She remembered tugging him to view it over four times and each time she’d fallen more in love. A sudden prick of tears hit her and she looked down at her lap, “Oh.”

He cleared his throat, “It was decently priced and it was close to the studio.”

She knew he was trying to reassure her. She blinked rapidly then faced him with her best smile, “That’s awesome. I really liked that one.”

He searched her again and smiled, “I remember…” There was a heavy pause, “Anyways- uhm, so what’s new with you, the current you.”

Taking his cue she shoved the overwhelming thoughts to the wayside, “I’ve been… honestly?”

There was a slight tug at his brow, “Mhm.”

“I’ve been really, really… weird.” She knew that word was lackluster- it didn’t hold a candle to what she was actually feeling but at the same time it fit perfectly. The corners of his mouth twitched and she could see question in his eyes, “Weird?”

“Yeah,” She said lining the rim of her water glass with her finger, “Just weird. So much has happened and there so much I still need to do…”

He nodded reassuringly, “Do you want to talk about it?”

She glanced up at him then down to her glass and let her mouth open then snapped it shut. She narrowed her eyes at the glass, “I’m not really sure where to start.”

He considered her then shrugged, “Start at the least pressing and then move up.”

“What if they all seem pretty pressing?” She asked half playfully.

“Well, then, I guess we need something stronger to drink.”

Now. Now was the time that she could tell him. She could tell him why she _couldn’t_ have something stronger. She could get the ‘most pressing’ matter off of her shoulders right in this moment. She could reach up and tug down his arm from waving down their waitress and meet his eyes and spill her biggest secret but, instead, she let him do those things and let her secret bury deeper down.

When the waitress came by she took Maks’ order and looked to her. She shook her head slightly, “I’m fine. Do you have ginger ale?”

The pretty blonde confirmed for her cheerfully and took off towards the bar. “You didn’t want anything?”

“No,” She said, “I’m too light weight and I have practice in the morning.”

That answer seemed to satisfy him enough to move on. They talked for a while longer while he drank his scotch and she drank her soda. She’d told him about graduating behind schedule, living with Jenna, and the show. He told her all about Brooke and even confided in her about his break downs.

“After that day,” He looked at her. She knew what he was talking about- the day she’d walked in and hugged him and encouraged him to apologize, “I stopped being such an ass.”

She raised an eyebrow at him, “What about Monday?”

He tried to hold back a smile, “I said _such_ an ass.”

She rolled her eyes at him and sighed, “It’s getting late.”

“It is,” he agreed.

“I’ve had a really great time, Maks.” And that was the honest truth. She had been nervous when she’d first started this night but now she wasn’t sure she would ever be ready to leave. Things had started to fall back into place. It was easy- like it used to be. And to laugh, _really_ laugh again made yet another weight that had been on her shoulder dissolve.

His eyes hooded as he leaned his head against the booth and stared out into the open bar. The band had been set up for about an hour and the room had filled up fuller than it had ever been when they were here before. He began to slide out of the booth taking her by surprise. He walked to her side and reached out his hand, “Before we go. Will you give me this dance? Then we’ll leave. Promise.”

Meryl regarded him hesitantly then put her hand in his. He helped her out of the bar and took her into the small area in front of the band. He didn’t let go of her hand as he wrapped his hand around her waist pulling him against her. Like muscle memory, her head found his chest and her arm went to his shoulders. The dance was simple, a light swaying back and forth to the syrupy sounds of jazz that filled the small room but she was growing more and more convinced that it may be their best dance yet.

The song had come to a slow end and she felt him pull away. She instantly resented the loss of his warmth and wrapped her arms around her body. He looked down at her, no specific look on his face. She wished she knew what to say to make everything all better, but, instead, she dropped her arms and reached out to grab his hand. She threaded her fingers threw his and shrugged.

She wanted everything to be fixed. More than anything she wanted them to go back to their first time here, to go back and know what she knew now and change. She wished she could just… change.

He squeezed her hand in reassurance and pulled heading towards the outside world. When they got back into the waiting limo she sat herself a little closer to him than before. “So,” she said, “Where do we go from here?”

“I thought you were calling the shots?” He smiled.

She tilted her head back and forth, “Oh, right.” She squinted, “I think this made things harder.”

He shook his head, “No. Not if you forget about the past, like you said. If we are starting over I think this was a pretty good date.”

“It was a pretty great date.” She assured.

“Then,” he shrugged, “That’s where we go; on a second date.”

She moved to nudge him with her shoulder. He was right. But there was a complication that he didn’t know about. She bit the inside of her cheek and reprimanded herself for not telling him yet. He deserved to know but selfishly she didn’t want to ruin this night. She wanted a good night with him and for some reason she knew that telling him that she was pregnant would put a bit of a damper on the evening.

“How’s practice going anyways?” He asked.

“Good!” She said, “We have Viennese Waltz this week.”

“I’m surprised you haven’t rallied for a more upbeat dance.”

She shrugged, “Guess that’s just one of those things that changed.”

He looked down at her and narrowed his eyes, “I guess so.”

After a few minutes of riding in silence he slowly put his arm around her. At first she almost thought about pulling away but thought better of it. “You know,” he said jokingly, “it’s going to be really interesting to get to know you again, Davis.”

“I’m a pretty interesting girl.” She said coyly.

“Yeah,” He said nodding strongly, “That’s one thing that definitely hasn’t changed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty! There is their date! The tension is dissolving but there’s still a little something hanging in the rafters. Tsk- Tsk Meryl for not telling yet! Can you blame her for not wanting her good date to go sour? (;  
> Anyways as always I hope y’all enjoyed and I truly appreciate your support! Thank you, thank you, thank you.


	7. Pompeii

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rushed. Havoc. Harsh. There wasn't enough words in the dictionary for today. Everyone hates Mondays, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ!
> 
> Hey guys! I can’t believe I’m posting another chapter?! Lol. Okay I want y’all to know that when I wrote this I wanted* it to feel rushed. I wanted this chapter to go boom-bang-pow. I will say that I didn’t plan this out but I did have this idea from the get go. So, as always, thank you in advance for any kudos, reviews, and subscriptions. I hope you enjoy! Love you! Always- J.

Meryl floated into consciousness but didn’t open her eyes. She waited patiently for the feeling of sickness to wash over her. When it didn’t come she opened her eyes and slowly, cautiously, sat up. When she got fully up she waited. It still hadn’t come. Meryl slowly ran her hand over her belly, “Thank you, little one.”

She stood up and stretched letting a happy groan slip threw her lips. Another Monday. Val had been prepping her all week; with their safe Viennese Waltz (no leg kicks, dragging across the floor, and no fast twirls for the sake of her lunch staying down) plus their combined score of last week they were going to be in the bottom.  Surprisingly that didn’t bother her much.

She dragged her feet towards the bathroom and showered quickly. She had to go to practice with Val, hair and makeup, then practice again and somewhere in between there she had to make time to pee, eat, and whatever else the baby threw at her. Pulling on a pair of leggings and a flowing white top and pulled her still-wet hair in a high bun on top of her head she made her way out into the living room.

“You are running late,” Jenna said from the bench in the hallway, pulling her tennis shoe on.

“What?”

“It’s like, 11…”

Meryl looked at her like she was crazy, “No it’s not.”

Jenna plopped her foot on the floor and stood. She pulled her tank top down and raised her eyebrows, “Okay. Then everyone else in the world is running ahead of schedule.”

Meryl glanced at the clock for the first time that day and she was right. The hallway’s clock had told her that it was in fact 10:57am and that she was very, very late. “Crap!”

Instead of heading towards the kitchen like she’d originally planned she ran towards the door. Grabbing her keys, she dashed out of the apartment. Normally she was a very punctual person, always on time no matter what she was doing but for the past three months that had changed. She spun as fast as she could into the parking lot and jumped out of her car then ran into the building. She took her phone out of her pocket, looking at it for the first time that day and cursed. 12 missed calls from Val and some very colorful text messages.

Meryl bared her teeth at her future scolding and turned the corner slamming into a hard wall of a chest, “Crap! Sorry!” Arms enclosed around her gripping at her back in an almost hug then as she pulled around slid around her sides at up around her stomach then-

Everything froze. Everything crashed around her. It was Maks. It was his hands. On her stomach. On their baby.

Meryl felt her mouth go dry as a desert as neither of them moved. She stared wide eyed at his chest, seeing it rise and fall quickly. Time slowed and all she could hear were white noises and her heart beating in her ears. The first movement either of them made was his large hands sliding farther up around her stomach, the palms of his hands pressing flat against her small bump.

Her eyes singed from the lack of blinking but she couldn’t look away from his chest; it was like a train wreck. Her life suddenly came to a screeching halt at a crossroads she’d unwillingly come to. His hands felt warm on her stomach as they applied more pressure. There was not denying what was happening to her body- especially when hands were there. Searching.

She heard him struggle to find words, his speech broken into incoherent tones, “Mer… Wha… Are you…? Meryl…”

She clenched her jaw and felt her lungs burn at the lack of oxygen. She stuttered in a breath and closed her eyes willing the tears that threatened to banish. He wasn’t supposed to find out this way. He wasn’t supposed to find out now. She was supposed to tell him when they were happy and at dinner in his apartment and she’d made the whole supper based off food with baby in them, like on that episode she’d seen on full house when she was younger… They would have cried happy tears and he would be so excited but now…

“Meryl.” His voice strained and cracked and twisted in her stomach. She clenched her fists at her side and opened her eyes but didn’t respond. He said louder, angrier, but sadder, “Meryl.”

She formed a line with her lips and blinked, a single tear rolled down her cheek.  She tried to step back away from him but his hands rose from her stomach to the tops of her arms keeping her in place. His voiced was so hoarse: “Meryl.”

She looked up at his face when she heard the need in his voice. He was staring down at her; eyes wide, face pale, and jaw slacked. His eyebrows were knit together in confusion and lord help her, pain. She felt her eyes flutter as she looked away from his face and more tears slid down her cheeks. She didn’t know what to say.

“Tell me,” he croaked. She shook her head and put a hand to her mouth taking a deep wavering breath, “I have to go.”

His hands grasped harder on her arms, “No. Not this time.”

She wanted to sob. She wanted to crumble at his feet and curl herself into a ball. She wanted to push away from him and run in any direction he wasn’t going. She looked up at him and shook her head again, softly, “You already know.”

“I want you to tell me,” he said again.

She searched his eyes, pleading for him to let her go but he didn’t. She licked her lips, “I’m pregnant.”

He looked like he’d been punched in the stomach. He physically slouched but his eyes never left hers. There was a light there, behind the darkness but it wasn’t going to shine. She knew she had confused him. She knew, even if he wouldn’t admit it to himself- because he wouldn’t- that she’d hurt him, “How long?”

“Almost 3 months.”

He nodded curtly and closed his eyes, “How long have you known?”

“Two weeks.” His eyes flung open and she’d known what he’d wanted to ask her; ‘why didn’t you tell me?’ There were opportunities. There were a lot of them, but she didn’t and there was nothing she could do to take that back.

He nodded and tore his eyes away from her face, his eyes a little glassier than normal. His hands dropped from her arms and she found she missed them. She missed the warmth they’d left there. He shoved his hands in his pockets and let out a deep breath and looked above her head. He was thinking. He used to do that when he was thinking- he’d looked out in front of him and fade into himself. Finally his eyes found hers again and he cleared his throat, “Okay.”

With that he ducked his chin against his chest and sniffed then pushed to walk around the corner leaving her standing completely unaccompanied with her thoughts. As he passed she felt all the warmth she had in her body leave with him and all she was left with was the cold, angry feeling of being absolutely and completely

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The rest of the night had passed in a flash. She spent most of the next three hours crying. When she walked into their studio she hadn’t even noticed Val wringing his hands through his hair, face red. Instead she walked in and dropped her gym bag and slid down the mirror and cradled her face in her hands and wept.

Val didn’t say a word. His hands dropped from his hair to his side and he crouched next to her pulling her into his chest. He let her lean on him for an hour. There were no words spoken. When she finally pulled away from him and looked into his eyes. He smiled weakly at her and nodded, “We’ll figure it out.”

Now though, sitting in the makeup trailer there was a silent question that hung in the air as the artists did their best to hide her blotchy skin and red swollen eyes. They didn’t ask and she wouldn’t offer. Her life may have crashed and burned again but life still went on- whether she liked it or not. Soon they finished getting her ready and she was ushered out of the trailer with wishes of good luck. Meryl smiled blankly at them and walked out of the trailer absolutely terrified. She would see him again. Soon.

Meryl wrapped her arms over her chest and let her chin fall against her chest. She was physically and mentally exhausted. There was two things she wanted to do: one was go to Maks and curl into his chest, letting his arms hold her from breaking apart and the other was to go home and bury herself in a flood of cushions and blankets and darkness and just sleep- neither of which was possible.

Instead she kept pushing forward. She walked into the main set and found Val in the red room on his phone. They hadn’t said more than three words to each other since the breakdown in the practice studio but he seemed to have known what had happened. Maks may have found him and talked to him but she liked to think that maybe they’d grown close enough to not need words. He smiled weakly at her and she responded with the same gesture as she climbed up on the uncomfortable wooden chair. She rubbed her lips together. She had to say it. She didn’t want to, but she knew with the way things were now it was for the best.

“I think it’s time.”

He looked up from his phone and studied her. He let out a deep breath making his chest fall, “You sure?”

She nodded quickly before she could change her mind, “I wanna go home.”

He straightened and let out a sigh, “Then let’s get you home.”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

She leaned up from her final pose and hopped right into his arms and leaned into his ear, “Thank you.”

He kept a stoic face and nodded down to her, putting a front on for the judges. They had done awful. Incredibly bad. Val had even taken a hit to the pride and fell. Meryl had never been more appreciative of Val than she was right then. She was so tired and emotionally spent that she wished they would kick her off right now and she could go straight home and fall into bed. She stood silently not really listening to the judges’ comments. She scanned the crowd and out of habit her eyes flowed to the skybox. He was standing there, watching them, his arms crossed over his chest and a sour look on his face. When their eyes met she felt it down to her toes.

Val pulled at her hand and she hadn’t realized the comments were over. She ran up the stairs with him and talked to Erin briefly before getting their scores. 5, 5, 5, 6. 21. The show hadn’t seen that low of a score in a long time. Meryl scowled at the screen but inside she breathed a sigh of relief.

Later, at eliminations they’d called their names and Meryl nodded. When they called them to the middle of the ballroom floor Meryl squeezed Val’s hand and smiled at him, silently thanking him for the past month of her life. She honestly wouldn’t know what she would have done without him.

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders as the cameras faded away and the rest of the contestants joined them on the ballroom floor saying their goodbyes. Meryl thanked everyone with hugs and kind smiles and then he came. Maks walked up slowly and coldly took her in his arms in a hug. It was the coldest hug she’d ever received from him; strong, stiff, and making an effort to not touch her stomach with his. She pressed her fingers hard into his shoulders, anger flooding over her.

“We need to talk,” he said flatly into her ear before pulling away.

She leveled her gaze and gave one sharp nod. He backed away looking disinterested and turned his back to her. She looked at him wishing more than anything that she could change. Val found her staring at his fading figure and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, “You okay?”

“Fine.”

He squeezed her against his side and shook his head at his brother. There was nothing he could say and they both knew that. After their interviewing Meryl and Val walked backstage in silence. There was so much of that now. So much quiet. When they reached the backstage training room this time they were really alone. Since it was their last appearance on the show, plus the fact she’d won so astronomically before, the interview process took forever.

“Last time,” Val said going to pick up his bag. He smiled broadly at his partner, “How’s it feel?”

Meryl stopped and looked around the room and put up her shoulders taking a deep breath, “I feel… ready.” She settled on.

Val nodded as he shoved his bag on his shoulder, “Good. That’s better than the opposite.”

She didn’t respond to that, just continued to ready herself to take her leave. When she was done the two of them left together and walked to the parking lot and out to her car. She opened the door and threw in her bag then turned back to him, “Thanks again.”

“No problem.”

“I really mean it, Val. I don’t think that you understand how much you’ve done for me over this month. It’s been so crazy and… I just really appreciate you.”

He tugged his mouth up at the corners and faked a sniff, “Don’t go getting me all emotional.”

She pushed at his shoulder and laughed, “Fine, fine.”

“So what’s the next step for you?” He asked.

She shrugged half-heartedly and jiggled her keys in her hand, “I think I’m going back to Michigan. I have to sort myself out.”

“I get that.”

She scanned over the building and silently said thank you and goodbye. No matter how it ended her time here had given her some amazing memories. It’d given her chances and people she’d never forget. Meryl smiled and shifted her gaze over to Val, “You better come see me.”

Val poked her tummy gently, “With my DNA in there? Of course.”

She turned her nose again and whispered, “gross” before sliding down into her car seat. She closed the door and waved at him through the glass then back away. As she turned out from the parking lot she felt like she was breaking free. From what? She wasn’t sure.

The drive back to Jenna’s was slow and she finally had time to think. There was going back home. What she would do when she got there. She’d told her parents over a skype call about the baby and they’d been supportive; Cheryl smiled and Paul got a little misty. They didn’t know what happened between Maks and her but they knew he wasn’t around anymore. That’s all they needed. She didn’t know what she was going to do about Maks. She didn’t know what she could do. She was going to leave the proverbial ball in his court. She hoped, of course, he would go easy on her.

She yawned as she parked her car outside of Jenna’s apartment. She was completely and totally spent. She had no desire get out of her car let alone walk up the flight of stairs to her bedroom but she had to. Meryl got out and got her gym bag then locked her car, walking up to the building with hooded eyes.

Today had been a huge day for her, whether she intended for it to be or not. Her mind ran over the course of the day and the weight of all that had happened had hit her like a wave. She stopped and groaned out loud. Maks knew. She was off the show. And soon she would be going back to Michigan with her tail between her legs. She swallowed the threat of tears back and pinched the bridge of her nose. She didn’t want to cry again.

Sobering up she walked to rest of the way to the building and trudged up the steps to her apartment. No one was there when she’d gotten there; the house was dark and cold. She sighed dropping her keys in the bowl as always then dropped her gym bag at her feet.  She had no plans to do anything other than get right into bed. Meryl went to her room and collapsed on the bed. She closed her eyes and clung pulled a pillow down to cradle against her chest. Pressing her face to her pillow she let out a wavering breath and then, against all her force of will, a sob.

She shook her head venomously as tears slid down her cheeks and on to her bed sheets cursing under her breath. She was supposed to be strong. At some point she must have fallen asleep because she woke up jarringly to the sound of pounding at the door. She furrowed her brows and raked the heels of her hands against her eyes. She rolled off the bed and went to the door only opening it slightly.

Maks stood there with bags under his eyes, that were puffy and red, and he sniffed hard. She pulled the door open wider and let him in. He walked in and headed straight down the hall not waiting for her to lock up again. She hurriedly locked the door and followed him to her room, silent question on her lips.

When he kicked off his shoes and laid in bed she understood. Slowly, she walked to her side of the bed and slid under the covers pressing her back against his chest. He let out heavy a breath against her ear and slid his hand skeptically from her side to her stomach. He rubbed her tummy gently, neither of them had spoken a word, just exploring. She shoved her hands under her chin and let him do what he needed. His hand slowed some time later and when she felt the steady breathing against her she knew he’d fallen asleep. Meryl laid there for some time, her eyes trained straight ahead and prayed morning wouldn’t come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO! OKAY. LIKE. I KNOW* THIS WAS A CRAZY CHAPTER, RIGHT?! But Idk, something about it just feels right. I wasn’t a fan of writing about the show so I’m glad I won’t have to but there will be stuff coming so don’t worry! Lol. I hope you guys enjoyed this! Thanks so much for your support!


	8. Few Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are things everyone has that make them feel good; certain little bits about them that are just for them that they enjoy more than anything in their life. Maybe its warm blankets on cold days or fresh picked flowers on their dinner table. We all have a few things that just make us feel… good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Okay after high demand here is chapter 8! Phew! Y’all, I gotta catch my breath! I’ve never ran so quick with a fic in my life- gotta admire those who update every day! This is the shortest chapter yet but its kinda fluffy! Anyways I hope you enjoy! Love you! Always- J.

Drinking hot chocolate late at night, putting on brand new socks, clean bed sheets… There were few things Meryl loved quite as much as waking up secure and warm totally enveloped in his arms. Sometime in the night she’d twisted around and when she woke up to the sight of his chest steady breathing her own breath caught in her throat. He was still asleep but his hands still molded to her back so Meryl leaned her forehead against his collarbone and took in a deep breath, the clean, warm familiar scent seared itself in her mind.

When she opened her eyes she saw that her tiny poked out stomach was touching his and she couldn’t help but smile. She clenched her jaw as the threat of tears hit her again, and thankfully they disappeared. It was supposed to be like this, she thought. She was supposed to wake up like this every morning with him, the quiet business of the morning swarming all around them as the sun broke through the curtains invading their space, signaling the day had come and new things waited for them.

She swallowed and closed her eyes against letting herself pretend that, that is how it was. She shifted so her cheek was against his chest and spayed her hands on his stomach feeling the muscles change. She wasn’t sure how long they had stayed like that but she knew when he’d woken up. He stiffened below her fingers and his breathing changed, but he didn’t move.

Taking in one last whiff of him she leaned back enough to see his face, “good morning.”

His sleepy stare didn’t hide the uncertainty that lied beneath it, “Morning.” She smiled weakly at him and began to pull away from him but his hands stopped her, “Wait.” Meryl froze in place and waited like he’d asked. His hands trailed from her back to her sides again and over to her stomach, “We should talk.”

She swallowed the growing lump in her throat and nodded, “Okay.”

He shifted and sat up straight. It looked odd, him being fully clothed in bed. He always slept with a pair of sleeping pants that that was it. She groaned inwardly and moved off of bed but when she got to the edge about to stand up he grabbed her wrist, “Where are you going?”

She stood, him still holding her wrist and she looked at his hand then gave him a soft smile, “Your baby has taken hold of my bladder. I have to pee, I’ll be right back.” The words “your baby” seemed to shock his system enough that he dropped her hand before she even finished the sentence. He nodded quickly, averting his eyes and she made her way to her on suite. She relieved herself and washed her hands then caught sight of herself in the mirror: she had mascara circles under her eyes and her hair was a mess, one of her straps on her tank top had fallen to the wayside.  She couldn’t help but laugh. She wiped off the makeup and found a ponytail holder and slapped her hair in a high bun before walking out. He wasn’t in the bed anymore but looking out the window with his arms across his chest.

“So.”

He turned around to face her and lifted the corners of his mouth, “So.” They were standing at completely opposite sides of the room but may as well have been standing on different sides of the country. He looked so distant and unsure- more than she’d ever seen him before and that thought alone made her stomach knot. “Where do we start?” he asked.

She formed a line with her mouth and tsked, tilting her head. She walked over to the end of the bed and sat down, “Well. I could answer questions, if you have any.”

He looked at her for a moment; his eyes trailed down her face to her middle to her feet then back up again. He walked towards her and sat down beside her bringing the tension with him, “Alright.” She waited on baited breath for the first question to roll through his lips, “What is it? A boy or a girl.”

She shook her head, “It’s too early to tell. I’m not sure.”

“You’ve only known for two weeks?”

She nodded, not giving him any words. He ran his hand along his jaw, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t know how.” Which was the truth. She had no idea how or when but she knew she should have, “I’m sorry I didn’t.”

His head fell to his chest and he sighed, “I’ll be fine.”

That was like a kick to the gut for her. She untangled her hands from her lap and placed on his knee, “You don’t have to be. I don’t know how I would feel if I were you.”

“I’ll be okay,” He said back instantly telling her he definitely wasn’t. She wanted to stand up and yell at him to not shut down, to not block off any section of his feelings but instead she squeezed his knee and pulled her hand back in her lap, the action feeling awkward and clumsy. “Actually,” he said staring straight ahead, “I’m pissed off.”

Even though that wasn’t a good thing it made her feel better. She turned and looked at his profile, “I understand.”

He smiled, only slightly then, and shrugged, “How did we get here?”

“Well,” She feigned exasperation, “When a mommy and daddy love each other very much…”

He scoffed then laughed at her pushing her with his shoulder making both of them sway. She reveled in his laugh as it broke the tension that had once again suspended across the room. She smiled naturally as the room came to a slow quiet. He seemed to be thinking this over and she would wait for him, no matter how long that took. He nodded, “Okay,” he cleared his throat, “how are you feeling?”

She shrugged, “I’m good. Morning sickness has happened but, not as much lately.”

“And the baby?”

“The doctor says that the baby is healthy and strong. The fact that its already ruling my days gives her confidence that the baby will do it for the rest of term,” She smiled at the teasing she’d received from her doctor. He breathed out a sigh of relief and ran his hand through his hair.

“Good. I’m glad your both okay.” He pulled the hair lightly and then let his hand drop to his sides- their arms grazing, “When’s your next appointment?”

“In a week. If you’d want, I’d like for you to come.” She said softly. He looked down at her and his eyes softened for the first time that morning. She smiled at him softly and arched an eyebrow, “I mean it’s just the doctor and I, but it would mean a lot.”

When he lifted his arm and put it around her so his hand rested on her waist she did her best to hide the surprise, “I’d love to go.”

She smiled up at him and leaned into his embrace. There, in that moment there was yet another shift in her world, the tetanic plates of her heart constricted and burst. Another boulder sized weight rolled off of her shoulders and she swore she could breathe that much easier.

They sat in the quiet of the morning for a bit, his arm wrapped around her torso and her just leaning into his side until her stomach growled. His eyebrows flew up, “Hungry?”

She put her hand to her stomach and laughed, “Sounds like it.”

He stood and held his hand out and she took his without thinking, “Fratelli’s?”

Fratelli’s. He was taking her back to Fratelli’s and all she wanted to do was smile. He waited for her in the living room while she got ready. As she stared at her closet she scanned her clothing and like her normal she was going to grab a baggy shirt and leggings but stopped herself. Setting her jaw she grabbed a tighter fitting shirt and a pair of leggings, because no matter how much she wanted to wear anything else, everything else cut into her stomach. She pulled on her clothes and they felt almost foreign. She looked at herself in the mirror and smiled softly, her belly poked out ever so slightly and it felt… liberating.

She walked out with a small smile playing on her lips. Maks was sitting there with a magazine flipping the pages quickly. When he saw her he threw it on the coffee table and stood, “What’s that grin for?”

She shrugged, “I’m just… I dunno.” She shook her head combatting a bigger smile.

He shook his head; eyebrow cocked and mouth twitching, “What?”

“I guess I’m just feeling…” She narrowed her eyes and searched for the right word, “… content.”

He searched her for a second considering her words and after a second he smiled, “Ready?”

“Ready.” She said with a smile.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“No way!” Meryl smiled as she walked through the front door at Fratelli’s and heard that familiar voice. She looked around and her smile only widened as her gaze found the source, “Hey Yaron!”

He started walking her way and she met him halfway hugging him. He squeezed tight eliciting a strangled giggle from her lips, “Where have you been?”

She stepped back and shrugged, “I’ve been trying to keep my feet on the ground.”

He tsked and held her at arm’s length, “I’ve missed you.” She smiled at him and just like that he was gone. Yaron was always a busy guy, bustling through the small café greeting others as they came in. She looked back at Maks and he was smiling as well. Her heart squeezed a little at the memories that swamped her thoughts and the familiarity of the situation. He walked up beside her and put his hand on her lower back, “Let’s get some food, yeah?”

“Yeah.” They walked over to a small corner table of the café that they always ate at and sat down, “I’ve missed this place. I’ve been craving the avocado.”

“Really?” He asked taking a sip of his water the waitress had brought seconds ago, “Do you have a lot? Of cravings, I mean.”

“Sometimes; at first it was junk food but now it’s been more fresh things. Like oranges, peppers, and avocado.” Meryl said. He watched her for a little while as if trying to figure her out, “What else?”

“What do you mean?”

“You know,” He asked a little timidly, “What else is going on?”

She tilted her head, “I always sleep holding a pillow now and I sleep a lot more. I could probably always sleep. I eat things I didn’t like before. Actually I just eat a lot, like, all the time.” He didn’t reply, just watched and listened intently as if he was taking everything she said to heart. They talked through their lunch about her and the baby and the pregnancy. He wanted to know all about the past two weeks of her life. After a bit their conversation came to a lull. He leaned back in his chair and threaded his fingers together placing them on his stomach, “I don’t want to miss any of it. I want to do this right.”

She looked down at her now empty plate and bit the inside of her cheek, “I won’t let you miss anything. Not anymore.” He nodded at her and she could tell that he understood just how much she’d meant that. He leaned forward and took in a deep breath, “Alright, Davis. If we’re gonna do this- and really do this- we have to get over ourselves.”

“None of this tension,” he continued and used his hands to gesture, “None of this holding back. We have to be honest with each other. If you get mad at me don’t hold it in and if I get fed up with you I’ll let you know. I want this to work. I really, really want this to work.”

To hear that made her heart thud against its cage. She nodded her head, “And I’ll tell you when you’re being a jerk and you’ll tell me when I’m being…. Not so nice,” she smiled teasingly, “But, seriously. I’m up for this. You and me.”

He lifted his chin and grinned, “It’s all about the end result right?”

She shook her head laughing at him. It was so easy to just be with him. No matter how she felt yesterday it had always been easy. What wasn’t easy was trying to be without him when everything reminded her of him. But now, sitting across from him in this café the past two months started to slowly melt away. With every sentence, smile, and laugh the walls she’d so meticulously put up started to fall away.

“Right,” She finally said back to him. He picked up the check that had been lying on their table face down and sighed, “You’re not a cheap date.”

“My company is expensive.” She smiled coyly. He rolled his eyes and stood then reached his hand out. She took it and they walked hand and hand up to the counter handing over their receipt. Yaron came behind them and clapped Maks on the back, “Now that’s what I like to see.”

Yaron squeezed his shoulder and kept walking and winked at Meryl. She smiled and nodded then looked up at Maks. If you would have told her yesterday when she’d woken up that Maks would find out about the baby, she’d be let go off the show, she wake up in Maks arms, and they’d be holding hands walking out of Fratelli’s she would have probably looked at you like you had five heads.

But now, having done all of those things, she’d never felt more right. She felt right but tired. Everything was happening so fast she’d barely had a chance to breathe. They drove back to Jenna’s and he’d dropped her off, “I’ll see you tonight.”

She tilted her head, “You will?”

He nodded, “Absolutely.”

She narrowed her eyes at him and laughed, “Good.”

She got out of the car and watched as he drove away with her arms crossed over her chest. She took in a deep breath and felt the cool air fill her lungs fuller than she’d ever felt before. A wave of exhaustion hit her and she laughed breathily and ran her hand over her stomach and looked down, “Ready for a nap already?” She turned on her heals and made her way into the building then up to her apartment and down to her room. She slid out of her shoes and fell right into bed.

She got a waft of him as she laid down and rolled to the side where he’d been only hours before and took his pillow, pulling it to her chest. She leaned her nose down and breathed him in with a smile on her face. Drinking hot chocolate late at night, putting on brand new socks, clean bed sheets… Yeah, there were few things she’d loved quiet as much as going to sleep with the smell of him all around her, either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just love tying things together with a pretty bow! So looks like next week Maks is going to a Doctor’s appointment! Weeeeee! That’s super exciting! I hope this gave y’all some comfort I know you wanted them to get on the good side again! Thank you so much!


	9. Something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maks' POV. Some things are good- they make life easier and smoother and once you get that thing its hard to imagine life without it. Some things aren't. One thing Maks knows is that there's always something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey... So... ah... I love you! Here's chapter 9! I have had requests all day for this one and I decided, why not. I really* hope y'all enjoy this... :) Love you! Always- J. 
> 
> PS// Please read the end A.N. after you finish reading! :)

Maks counted backwards in his mind and did his best to keep his breathing even. It had been another long day in the studio with Brooke and it wasn’t even eleven yet. He watched her with a blank face as she did the moves to their samba on her own. She kept missing steps and he kept resisting the urge to shake his head or stomp his foot.

“You want to dance with me now?” She asked flatly as she started another round of samba steps.

He rubbed his hand over his mouth and bit his tongue. No he didn’t want to dance with her; he wanted her to get her shit together. He raised his eyebrows at her and gestured to her to keep going and she rolled her eyes at him. Every day she reminded him of why he left this in the first place. He watched her silently and let his mind wander.

It had been a crazy two weeks in his life. He’d taken Meryl on a date not long ago and now they were back to…. Something, not normal… But something. Oh, and another thing- he was going to be a dad. He shook his head at that thought and batted back the onslaught of panic. Although the thought terrified him there was no one he’d rather have a child with than Meryl Davis.

His eyes were trained on Brooke again as she ended the routine. He held back a groan as he took a step towards her, “Alright. Let’s try this again.”

A little while later she stood facing the mirror, her back pressed against his chest his hand on her stomach, “All you do is lean against me, Brooke.”

She raised her eyebrows at him in agitation, “I’m trying- height differences remember?”

Like an answered prayer she walked through the door in that moment. She had a small, awkward smile on her face as she crept into the room. She had her long hair down and wavy, a pair of grey yoga pants and a white shirt on with a cream cardigan on, her purse slung around her body. She gave a small wave and whispered, “Hi!”

He stopped and stepped away from Brooke and put his hands on hips, taking a deep breath, “Hey.”

Meryl moved to the side of the room and sat down on the folding chairs. She looked so damn cute. His eyes went from her smile to her stomach and a pull of pride tugged at his heartstrings. He would never get over that feeling, “We’re just finishing up,” He said stepping back to his partner.

Brooke wasn’t where he’d left her. She had moved towards Meryl with a huge grin on her face, “Look how cute you are!”

Meryl shrugged coyly, “Oh wow, thank you.”

Maks couldn’t help but let a smile stay on his lips. He stood back watching as Brooke gushed over her, Meryl let Brooke touch her small bump and answered all her questions easily and happily. Motherhood fit her, he decided. He hadn’t noticed that she’d caught him staring and she smiled from him to Brooke, “Is he giving you trouble?”

Brooke looked at him over her shoulder then apparently by Meryl’s giggles she’d given her a face, “What’s wrong?”

“Samba rolls,” Brooke said.

“Ah,” Meryl said with a nod, “Those.”

“Mhm,” Brooke rubbed her belly again. Maks felt ganged up on but he didn’t mind. He walked to them and reached his hand out to Brooke, “Let’s try again. Maybe Meryl can help.”

With a sigh Brooke walked to the middle of the room and got into position. They tried to samba roll and it was awkward and clumsy and by the expression on Meryl’s face when they were done, it looked just as bad as it felt. “Okay…” She said slowly, “That wasn’t the best samba roll I’ve ever seen.”

Brooke scoffed, “No doubt.”

The three of them laughed and then Meryl stood up, “Mind if I snatch your partner?”

Brooke shook her head and lifted her arms out, “Have at him.”

She stood with her back flushed against his chest and brought his arm around her stomach. She wasn’t nearly as affected by the gesture as he was apparently because she spoke so casually, “I bet heights an issue.”

“Clearly,” She smiled, “We aren’t a great match either, but there are a few things I did that helped a lot. Like, uhm, I got up against his stomach- I know it’s uncomfortable, especially being so close to someone, but it helps…”

Maks let Meryl be the teacher. They demonstrated their samba rolls to Brooke a few times and then switched. Meryl helped position them and helped Brooke feel as comfortable as she could. The lesson lasted about fifteen minutes and by the end of it their samba rolls had improved tenfold.

He dropped his arms from around her and she turned and smiled and slapped his shoulder, “Ow!” He smiled rubbing the spot, “What was that for?”

“Oh! Sorry!” She smiled and did a small happy dance, “I just… We did it! Can you believe it? We frickin’ samba rolled!” She raised her hand up again and he flinched and she laughed, “I want a high five you goof.”

He high fived her and looked over at Meryl who had her hands on her hips and a big smile on her face. His heart constricted in his chest at the sight of her actually smiling. A big happy smile; one he’d thought he may have lost. She caught his gaze and winked at him quickly. He nodded at her and looked back at Brooke, “Alright. I think we’ve done enough for the day. We have an appointment at two plus I’m hungry. Is that okay with you?”

Brooke nodded, “Sure. I’m feeling pretty accomplished.”

“Brooke, would you want to go out to lunch with us?” Meryl asked from the side. At first he wanted to widen his eyes and gesture, ‘What are you doing? No!’ but refrained. Meryl looked at him over Brookes shoulder and sent a message with her eyes, ‘don’t try it.’ He sighed.

“Really? Yeah sure, that’d be awesome.” Meryl smiled and walked towards Brooke and wrapped her arm around her shoulder, leading them both towards the place where she and he had laid their bags that morning. He watched them go and puckered his lips.

She was something else. She’d amazed him from the moment she had stepped into his life and nothing had changed. He could hardly believe it had only been a year and they’d already been through so much: good and bad, thick and thin, and it had all lead him to right here in this moment watching her lead his new partner to her bags and out to lunch.

He loved her. He’d known that for a long time. He’d loved her before he even knew he did but there was something nagging at him. He couldn’t put his finger on it. There was like a wall; a thin plastic coating on his heart that hadn’t been there before. Pushing it down, he began to walk after them. Maybe he was just tired.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“There’s no way.” Brooke said looking at Meryl astonishingly.

Meryl shrugged and tilted her head, “Really. Not once.”

Maks scowled at the girls beside him at the small round table and stuffed another piece of food in his mouth. Meryl put her hand on his arm and squeezed- she wasn’t looking at him, it had seemed like a natural movement, “I can’t imagine him raising his voice.”

“Well, I’m jealous,” Brooke teased. The girls laughed and the conversation came to a comfortable stop as they kept eating. It had been a really nice lunch contradictive to his previous thoughts. Meryl always made things easier.

“Well,” He said, “I’ve never had a partner who complained so much,” He raised a playful eyebrow at his partner and she scrunched her nose.

“You think what I’m doing now is complaining? Just wait. You’ve got a big storm coming for ya, buddy.” She wiggled her eyebrows at him. He shook his head and leaned back, stretching his spine. He caught sight of his wristwatch and blew out a short breath, “We gotta go, babe.”

Meryl turned her attention to him, “Oh. Right! Duh,” She took the last bite of her food and wiped her mouth with her napkin, “I’m so sorry, Brooke. We have an appointment soon.”

Brooke nodded and waved her hand at her, “Don’t be! You’ve made my day. Plus, helping with the Samba Rolls? Ugh. I can’t thank you enough!”

She tsked at her and pulled her purse into her lap and pulled out her phone, “Here, let me get your number and you can call me anytime you need, okay?”

The girls exchanged numbers while Maks paid the bill. He pulled out her chair for her and said goodbye to Brooke and they were on their way. “You’re really great, you know?”

She turned her attention from the window to him with a soft smile, “Hm?”

“You,” he nodded, “You are great with everyone.”

“So are you,” She said evenly.

He scoffed and crooked one side of his mouth up, “Hardly.”

“You are. You don’t give yourself enough credit, Chmerkovskiy.”

“Maybe you give me too much, Davis.” She rolled her eyes at him and put her hand to her stomach, “I wonder what the doctors gonna say today.”

He reached for her free hand and intertwined his fingers with hers, resting their combined fist on the console between them, “Probably how handsome I am.”

She raised her eyebrows at that and laughed squeezing his hand. She was easy; easy to be with and be nearby. He didn’t have to try and be anyone and he was most like himself, or the person he wanted to be when he was with her. Contentment engulfed him as they drove them to the obstetrics office, but soon faded as he parked. Staring up at the office things had become very real. He swallowed the ever-growing lump in his throat and looked to his right. Meryl was shuffling through her purse one handed, completely unaware of the alarms going off in his head.

She turned and smiled at him, “Ready?”

He squeezed her hand, sure that if he’d let go everything would change- he’d wake up or something. He smiled weakly at her, “If you are.”

Her smile faltered a little and her brows knit a little closer together, “You okay?”

He searched her face for a moment and then nodded briefly. She gave him one last reassuring smile and got out of the car. He stayed back a second and took in a deep breath. He got out and walked to the front of the car to meet her and her hand found his. They walked into the office together and up to the counter then got checked in.

The lobby was clean and had all the womanly touches. The walls were painted a soft heather grey and had purple accents. There were marble-like statues placed around the room with a bible scripture on the largest wall, angels framing that. They took a seat together on one of the hard plastic chairs that were against the large bay window and Meryl laid her head against his shoulder and yawned happily, “I’m always so tired.”

He shifted as best he could without disturbing her, “Oh yeah?”

“Always,” She said sleepily. He nodded off in the distance, his leg bounced up and down making his body bounce with it. She placed her hand over her knee and lifted her head from his shoulder and furrowed her brow, “Really, are you okay?”

He shrugged, “I’m okay.” He could feel her eyes on him but he kept his eyes in front of him pretending to study the painted scripture on the wall. He swallowed unconsciously, making his Adam’s apple bob.

“Maksim… Are you scared?” She asked- a smile threaded in her voice.

“What?” He said acting surprised, “No way.”

She straightened and poked his side, “Yes way.”

He looked over at her, the tips of his ears burning, “What are you talking about?”

“You are so scared,” She said with an incredulous smile on her face, “Oh, babe.” She leaned forward and pressed a kiss on his temple then leaned her forehead against that same spot and laughed, her breath hitting his neck giving him goose bumps. He pursed his lips, holding back an embarrassed smile and scrubbed his face with his hand. “We’ll do this together,” She whispered, “You and me. That’s it.”

He leaned back making her pull back as well and looked into her eyes, “Yeah. You’re right. You and me.”

She gave him a thousand watt smile and that’s when the nurse called their name, “Meryl?”

Her eyes darted from the nurse to him and she wrapped her hands around his, “Here we go.”

Maks looked at the nurse and nodded, “Here we go.”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“Last week of your first trimester, how you feelin’ mama?” Dr. Madison sat on her stool and glanced from the computer screen to Meryl with a smile on her face.

“I’m feeling… tired?” She laughed, “But, good. Great, actually.”

“And I see we brought dad along this time,” Dr. Madison rolled over and stuck her hand out to Maks. He shook it firmly and smiled, “Nice to meet you. Maksim Chmerkovskiy.”

She nodded, “Oh yeah. I’m a fan of you and Meryl. My partner and I went to a show that season. Great fun.”

Meryl smiled over at Maks from the exam table as she lightly kicked her feet back and forth. Dr. Madison clicked around on the computer for a little while and then turned to Meryl, “So, any concerns?”

The two of them went through a slew of questions and answers and Maks sat back listening as best he could, remembering any advice the doctor had to give. She needed extra iron, calcium, and protein and they needed to stop by the store to pick up prenatal vitamins. He made a mental note of all the things he needed to do to do this right.

“And, lucky for you two- Libido lifts up around now.” She winked at Meryl as she tested her stomach. Meryl blushed softly and Maks felt his neck get hot. They hadn’t had sex since the time they’d made the baby. It had been a while.

The exam got done relatively quickly and then Doctor Madison was back at her computer charting. She logged off a few moments later and smiled, “Alright. Well, as for the baby his or her fingerprints have formed and normally weighs about an ounce. They are about the size of a pea pod right now.”

He looked over and Meryl was smiling at herself, “What?” he asked before he could think better.

“Oh, just… Jenna. She calls the baby by the size of food and this week its baby pea.”

The doctor seemed to get a kick out of that as she closed her chart in her hands, “Alright. Well I’ll want to see you again in about 4 weeks. If you schedule for 5 weeks though we’ll be able to get an anatomy scan, if you’re interested. Do you know if you’ll be staying here?”

Maks quirked an eyebrow at that, “Staying here?”

Meryl’s eyes darted to his, “Oh. Uhm, I had told Doctor Madison that I may be going back to Michigan.”

Going back to Michigan? Maks felt like the rug had been slipped out from underneath him. He glanced back at the doctor who looked utterly apologetic. “I’m sorry, I thought…”

Meryl looked at the doctor, “Oh, no its not… I just haven’t thought about it since…”

“Well just let us know when you do.” The doctor smiled sheepishly and walked towards the door, “Don’t hesitate to call with any questions, either of you.”

The two of them nodded and the door shut behind her leaving the room completely silent. He could feel his blood in his veins as it ran hot under his skin. Leaving? Why hadn’t she told him she might be leaving… He looked at her for answers but she didn’t match his eyes. He watched as she jumped down from the exam table and cleared her throat, “Maks… With all the stuff happening I haven’t even begun to think about Michigan. It’s not like anything was set, it was just an option.”

“When were you going to inform me on this option?” He asked harshly.

She looked at him, eyes wide. She was clutching onto the strap of her purse hard enough to make her knuckles turn white, “We shouldn’t do this here.”

He scrubbed at his jaw and nodded. No, not here but they were doing it somewhere. He walked to the door and opened it for her. She walked through and to the front office making another appointment for five weeks later. They hadn’t said a word as they drove from the office back to his apartment.

The silence extended up the stairs and into the hallway. She was behind him the whole time but he could feel her apprehension. He turned the key in the lock of the door and pushed it open, gesturing her inside. He followed suit and closed the door a little harder than necessary. When he turned around he saw the end of her making it into the living room.

He met her there as she was throwing her bag on the couch. She met his gaze and crossed her arms over her chest, “It was just an option.”

Suddenly that answer didn’t seem good enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *ducks!* Okay okay I know you hate me right now but I need you to know this is essential to the story. I promise angst won't be forever! I just- this is how I've planned this story out since chapter two, so bear with me. In hindsight you'll be like, "Why was I even mad tho?" sooo! Trust me, okay? :) Okay! I love you and thank you so much in advance for any kudos, reviews, and follows I have gotten and proceed to get. Y'all are perfection!


	10. Option

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An option, by definition is a thing that is or may be chosen. A right. Meryl had options and so did Maks, but would their chosen options ever be the right one for each other?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. Thank you all for being so sweet and amazing to me and this story. It has truly been an amazing thing to experience. I hope that you all enjoy this story and I hope that you understand how much each comment, reblog, like, kudos and subscription means to me. I wish I could express it.
> 
> Now, with that being said I want you to know there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, as well as an author’s note! Please check that out! Thanks!

“Just an option?” He was seething, he could feel it in the roots of his teeth. He watched as she calmly ran her fingers through her long, dark hair thinking of something she could say.

“Yes. An option,” She said evenly. She took a step towards him and he raised his hand to about his waist and shook his head.

“No.” She stopped mid stride and furrowed her brows at him; a look of confusion and sadness evident of her face. Later he may regret that, but now it only fueled him, “Was that decision going  to be made before or after you told me about the baby?”

She reeled back a bit, like she’d touched a hot stove. She shook her head so slightly one might have missed it if they weren’t watching her every move, “Maks…”

“Please. Enlighten me, Meryl.” He waited with his eyebrow peaked at her, a stern line across his face. Meryl blanched and looked completely lost, she shrugged pitifully, “It’s not like that.”

“What? What is like that?” He laughed hollowly, “It’s not like you hid the pregnancy from me? It’s not like you _hid_ from me for the past three fucking months of my life?”

She crossed her arms over her body, “I don’t want to do this.”

Maks narrowed his eyes at her. She didn’t want to do this? Well that was too damn bad. He walked heavy footed to the couch and threw himself down then hit the cushion next to him, “Well I do. Come on,” he said sternly patting the couch again, “Let’s talk.”

She looked at him like she was seeing a ghost. She made no effort to move towards him, her feet cemented to the rug in the middle of his living room. “Why are you doing this?” She asked smally.

He leaned against the back of the couch and regarded her, “Because I need to say this. I’ve been holding this shit inside of me for over two months and… Jesus Meryl…” He raked his hands through his hair then let them drop to his sides, palms facing up, “We can’t patch over this. You can’t make this right with a Band-Aid and good press.”

That pissed her off. Her nails dug into the flesh on her arms and her jaw tightened, “We were supposed to let this go, remember?”

“I remember, but that was a bad idea.” He said plainly, matching her glare.

“Fine.” She said evenly, “You wanna ‘talk’, let’s talk.”

She stepped towards him and for once she loomed over him, “Let’s talk about how you thought you had the right to slide in and out of my life for the past year, hm? Or… Or let’s talk about how you didn’t call or text me or gave me a fucking _email_ for over three weeks and then you try and sweep me off of my feet with a proposal?”

He felt the blood in his veins run cold at the mention of the past. He scooted forward making her take a step back, a flash of… was that fear? Whatever it was, it flashed through her features quickly and banished just as fast, “Oh, me? How about the fact that I invited you to over 5 events in one month and there was always a reason for you not coming? Where you so insecure with showing people us that you couldn’t even muster the courage to go to charity galas with me? Oh- how about the fact that I went to Michigan not once, but twice  and each time we spent a total of 9 hours together because you were ‘busy’?” his hands went into the air to form false quotation marks, “I fucking tried Meryl.”

She grimaced at him and tilted her head, “You’re getting mad at me for working? Are you serious?”

“Working?!” His voice went up and octave, “You took that stuff _after_ I’d asked. And besides that,” He finally stood, “No matter what- no matter when you called, no matter what I was doing, I _always_ made time for you. Always.”

She swallowed hard and bags had mysteriously seemed to form under her steely grey eyes, “You always made time for everyone Maks.” Her tiny hands found the spot on her hips that made her look as intimidating as possible, “Don’t make me the bad guy. I did my best. I flew to you. I did things for you. You weren’t in this alone.”

“Maybe I wasn’t- but at least I didn’t fucking give up.” His last words came out so strong spit flew from his mouth. She reared her head back and looked at him like a stranger. Yeah, he’d said it but she brought it up.

It had been a stupid idea, but once he made the decision he felt like it was the right one. It was spring and they’d finally been able to find the time to see each other. She was going to be in New York in three days and as he walked down a tiny side street in SoHo on his way to Green St. a light from a small shop window caught his eye. He hadn’t been thinking about asking her to marry him but when he saw the antique, medium sized ring laying in the window he’d known that was he was going to do. There was no doubt in his mind that that right was going to be on her finger. He walked into the store and without a second thought bought it, stuffed it in his coat pocket and continued his way to his brother’s store, a smile permanently embedded on his face.

The smile lasted four days; four blissful days of walking on clouds around New York City. When she’d come into town things fell back into place, as always. He’d made it a grand but small affair, the way she liked things. His barren apartment had been lit with cheesy candles within his living room- enough to scare even the calmest of firefighters. He’d cooked them dinner and they ate sitting on the floor of his living room at the coffee table. They talked until some of the candles burnt out then made love in the muted silence of the candles and then he’d asked her as she laid on his chest drawing patterns on his skin:

“I love you. I want to do this forever. Will you marry me?”

It all went downhill from there. A myriad of emotions passed over her face- shock, confusion, a small smile, then it fell, panic, exhaustion, and then she shot up, and was on her feet in an instant. He followed fluidly and reached out to her. She let him take her hand. She said she needed time and he said he understood. So she left and took that time. But he didn’t really understand.

Days passed and his stammering heart slowed. Weeks passed and his straining heart felt a little broken. A month.

He went to Michigan to find her. Yes, just like out of all those cheesy romance movies and novels he went to her but what those stories don’t tell you is how bad it hurts when it happens to you. When Maks went to Michigan he talked to Paul and Cheryl and they told him she’d been different and told him where he’d find her. He knew, of course, she’d be at artic edge. When he got there he quietly walked through ever arena and when he’d found her he was shocked by her appearance. Her youthful glow seemed to be less bright and her cheeks seemed a little more hollow- her hands curled around her hips more than they’d used to.

She was talking to Charlie and Fedor. She laughed and reached to him, grabbed his arm and his hand went to her ribs. It was a polite gesture. He wished he was the one doing it. He wished he was the one making her laugh. But instead he was the one that caused her glow to fade and her body to become weary. He’d been the one to hurt her in the end.

He took a step back when he realized she didn’t call him because maybe her unsureness was enough to make her want to end it all together. He let his gaze rake over her once more and embedded her laugh and her smile into his memory for safe keeping and left. He shouldn’t have come because she didn’t ask.

He’d gone to California the two weeks later because he’d signed the contract and when he got there he’d asked for the switch. The producers of the show almost denied it but when one woman saw the tear in his soul she’d made it happen. And then she came back into his life like a damned whirlwind and now they were here.

The glass that had formed over her eyes threatened to track down her eyes and her voice broke, “I didn’t give up. I never gave up.”

He looked up to the ceiling, “You broke my heart and left me standing there.”

She pushed her hands through her hair, torment wrinkled her brow, “I didn’t mean to and you know it. But you didn’t try either.”

“You wanted space.” He said loudly, an estranged laugh broke over his words.

“I wanted you!” She hunched her shoulders, “You never came to me. After that night there was no you and I. I waited for you to come to me but instead it just felt like you forgot me. Again.”

“I did,” he said shaking his head. He didn’t want to make it into a scene from a movie. He was in real pain and no clashing of limbs around each other’s bodies would save it, “But it doesn’t matter now.”

“Maks,” She said daring to take another step towards him but not touching him, “You came in and out of my life when it was convenient. For both of us. That’s not what I wanted.”

“You wanted a secret,” He challenged, “I couldn’t live my life the way I wanted to. All we did was hide and I didn’t want that.”

“I didn’t want to have a secret,” She said plainly, her voice raised, “I wanted to have you.”

“You had me! Just six hours ago I woke up with you.”

She bit her lip at that and shrugged, “Did I?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked confused.

“Why did you come back Maks?” She asked, terror in her eyes, “If what we had was such a burden did you come back for me? Or because you thought you had to?” Her hand rubbed her belly protectively. He got the gist.

He felt like he’d been physically slapped. This time he was the one to reel back in shock, “Wh… why… Jesus.” He stammered. Blind rage hit him like a wave of water under his skin, “You really think that? Really?”

Her eyes didn’t falter from his but her face gave nothing away. He fell back on the couch and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees and his hands twisted in his hair. He took a deep breath into his burning lungs and swallowed back the tears that burned the back of his eyes. He ran one hand down his face, not looking at her.

Her heard her soft, muffled whimpers but didn’t look up. He knew she was probably standing there with her mouth pressed in a line and the back of her hand pressed against that. Her eyes were probably red and her cheeks were probably a drastic pink compared to the white of her skin. She was probably staring down at him like he was the only one who could fix it. She was probably kicking herself and silently pleading to god to take back her words.

He couldn’t.

He didn’t know how long they stood like that for. Her soft whimpers turned silent and then there was a click of the front door. He was alone again; alone with his thoughts, heartache, and guilt.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

She’d called Jenna about three blocks back, holding back any form of emotion that she could just to make it through the phone call. She hated what had just happened. She hated it more than she’d hated anything that she’d ever done, but at the same time she felt another weight- a massive one this time- roll off of her shoulders.

It needed to happen. They had to yell at each other. They had to say those things, no matter how painful it was. Jenna had picked her up in silence and drove back home. Everything felt like it was in slow motion but before she knew it she was in her bed again, in his large t shirt, her hands tucked under her chin and her head pounded from the over thinking she’d done since she’d gotten there.

The room was completely dark except for the light from her clock. Even that was too bright. She forced herself up on her hands and knees and crawled over to the bedside table and tugged at the chord. Complete darkness.

The moment she’d settled under the blankets again her door opened at the light from the hallway made her squint. Jenna walked in with her arms across her chest and worry tugged on her brow. She didn’t say anything and Meryl opened her mouth. She tried to talk but her throat was scratchy, she cleared it then sniffed, “Hi.”

Jenna let her chin fall towards the ground and walked over in silence. She crawled on the bed from the foot and laid down wrapping her arms around Meryl. The contact made her feel human but that made it worse. She took in a stuttered breath then let it out, but it came out as a body wracking sob. She felt herself curl around Jenna’s arm that had been thrown around her waist and shook her head. Tears left her again making her weak.

Jenna smoothed her best friend’s hair down and away from her face but didn’t say a word. She didn’t need to. She squeezed her every now and again just to let her know she was there. Meryl cried well into the night and early morning. Jenna never left.

She cried for her. For Maks. For their past. For their future. For their baby.

She cried.

She let everything she hadn’t let out before out then, not in words, but in emotions. All the grief, anger and sadness that had swelled under her well-conceived mask she’d created years ago. When she’d finally let herself fall into the blissful arms of sleep she’d never been so thankful for the warm embrace. She’d be just fine to sleep for a long, long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, now, I know y’all are probably like, “I’m so done with his right now,” But please know this was essential. It needed to be done- they needed to get this off of their chest to continue in the way we all want them to. Glue doesn’t hold dams! So, with that being said thank you so much for reading and I hope you trust me- it gets better! :)


	11. Moving Boxes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes relationships can fit into tiny perfect little boxes. Boxes that everyone can relate to and understand; boxes like friendship, lover, family, spouse. Those pre-made boxes that everyone knows but some never truly have. What Meryl and Maks had couldn't fit into those boxes- it never had. Their relationship rode on the shores of all of these things, but it never stopped them from trying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Welcome back! I am so glad to see ya! What a day- but here's another update! It's a slower chapter (Wooo go me!) and it is packed with feels! From you to me! Love you! Always- J.

Meryl sniffed subconsciously and folded the t-shirt in her lap as she sat in the middle of her room. She laid the shirt on a stack next to her that was about as high as her waist. She didn't remember packing this many clothes when she was coming to LA but apparently she had.  
  
It was sunny and cool today. They opened the window in Jenna's small apartment and the light breeze curled around her as it lifted the window treatments. The calming sounds of people walking their dogs and cars drifting by filled the room. It was better than silence.  
  
Meryl's open suitcase laid in front of her waiting to be filled and shut but she had yet to put a single item inside. She stared wearily at the baggage and took her bottom lip between her teeth. She just needed to get it over with. Picking up the pile of sweats to her left she shoved them into the bag and got to her knees, pushing the clothing down hard.  
  
"Woah. What'd those pants ever do to you?"   
  
Meryl looked up, wide eyed at the doorway then let her eyes fall back on the clothes. She gave the stack one last push then fell back on her butt, legs crossed, "Stopped fitting me."   
  
Val laughed and walked further into room, arms lazily across her chest. He fell onto her bed and stared up at the ceiling putting his hands clasped behind his head, "Not the pants' fault."  
  
She huffed and carded through a pile of jeans then looked over her shoulder back at him, "No, thanks Val- I don't need help."  
  
He raised up on his elbows as she turned back to the task in front of her, "Need help?"  
  
She smiled to herself, "No. I'm fine."  
  
"Figured," Per the sound of the coils squeaking of the mattress he'd laid back down. She stuffed the jeans next to the sweats then stood up brushing the invisible dust off of her knees, "Where's Jenna?"  
  
"She's in her room." He pulled the phone from the front of his hooded sweatshirt and started scrolling, "When you leaving?"  
  
She looked at the piles around her feet and shrugged, "My flight is tomorrow. If I can get this all packed."  
  
He threw a glance at her then whistled as he went back to his phone, "Good luck."    
  
She smirked at him and lifted her foot for her toe to play with a stray bracelet on the floor, "Thanks." She cleared her throat, "Does Maks know I'm leaving?"  
  
Val's fingers stopped plucking on the phone for a moment and he stared at the screen. He wasn't paying attention because it dimmed a few second later. He was clearly trying to think of an answer for her. She started to think she'd asked the wrong thing until he finally spoke, "Sort of. I haven't told him outright though."  
  
She nodded as she worried her bottom lip again. Meryl turned around and took another look at her room and felt a slight pang; the room was become less homey as her personal touches were taken down. She spotted his t shirt in a puddle and walked to it, picking it up and rubbed it between her hands, "Is he okay?"  
  
He clicked the lock button on his phone and sat up, stuffing the phone in his pocket, "He's, uh... He's fine."  
  
Meryl arched an eyebrow at his back and as if he could see from the back of his head, his shoulders tensed, "Fine enough. At least he's eating."  
  
The words were supposed to be funny. Apparent by his light manner he thought it would ease things but it only made it worse, "He wasn't eating?"  
  
He stood and faced her, "I didn't mean it like that."  
  
"He was taking care of himself right?" She asked heavily. It had been two weeks since the argument and a week since his booting off of the show. She watched the show from her living room and the moment he'd been voted off she felt sick.  
  
If he didn't have something to focus on she knew that he would probably start becoming reckless.   
  
She shot her gaze to Val again. His face softened, "He's fine, Mer."  
  
She regarded his words for a second then nodded, bringing her finger up to her mouth, biting the cuticles, "Okay," she did her best to look like she was looking for something on her floor then turned her back to him. She didn't want to think that he wasn't fine, but, she worried. She worried a lot, "Would you tell me if he wasn't fine?"   
  
Val shook his head, a loving smile on his face, "Probably not."  
  
She pursed her lips and nodded, "I didn't think so."  
  
Meryl walked back to her suitcase and went to her haunches and separated the shirt piles shoving half into the suitcase. Meryl worked quietly while Val putzed around the room picking things up and putting them down, glancing at her from time to time.   
  
"I'm gonna need another suitcase," she mumbled as she looked at her now full luggage and the piles left out of it. She lifted her head and noticed at some point she'd been left alone & sighed. Standing she walked to the door then down the hall to Jenna's room. Not knocking she opened the door and found her friend pressed against a wall and her ex partner pinning her there. Instead of backing out she raised an eyebrow and walked farther into the room and into her friends closet, "I need to borrow some luggage."  
  
Jenna tugged at some hair that was curled at the base of Val's hairline, not taking her eyes from him, "'Kay."  
  
She'd seen this before and it was nothing new but it didn't stop her from shaking her head at them. She grabbed a duffel bag big enough to fit her last items then walked out, "By the way- gross."   
  
She heard them laughing as she closed the door behind her. She was smiling herself. Granted things weren't amazing, she loved being around these people. She was blessed to have such loving people surrounding her and her baby.  
  
And back home in Michigan. They would be fine there. They'd have her mom and dad and Charlie and Tanith and things would be alright. They'd skate at her home rink and have snow on Christmas. But it would hurt like hell not having him with them.  
  
She made it back to her room and threw the rest of her things in the bag. When she finished she piled her things by the door and fell down into bed. Yawning, she grabbed her phone from the bedside table and texted her mom then opened Instagram. Scrolling through her feed she had wished he would have posted a picture but he hadn't. Not for a week after thanking Brooke.  
  
She went to his page and scrolled and found the last picture of them he'd posted. It was a picture from New York from over three months ago. She backed out of that and went through his feed again for the thousandth time. She missed him, no matter what had happened it didn't mean she didn't want him anymore.   
  
She may have chosen Michigan as her option but it didn't mean she didn't chose him as well. She didn't know where to start, though. Like an  epiphany she scrolled past a picture of Sir Sleep on his feed.   
  
"You can come see him any time..." His voice rang through her mind with the clarity of a bell. She sat up straight in her bed and narrowed her eyes at the wall. It was now or never.  
  
Meryl climbed out of her bed and grabbed her purse of the way out with a mission on her mind. She wasn't going to wait anymore. Not like last time- she wanted it, she would get it. "Fate" be damned.  
  
xxxxxxxxxxxxx  
  
Maks rolled his head from shoulder to shoulder trying to get the soreness to leave. It had been a long week of sitting and while at any point he could get up, he didn't. He watched the TV blankly as the host of the show introduced the guest for the episode and took another long chug from his beer the flat barley taste filled his senses.  
  
He heard the knock on the door and furrowed his brow, craning his neck over the couch to look towards the front. He waited for another knock and flattened against the couch again. Whoever it was could come back when someone wanted to answer the door. He turned up the volume on the tv and took another swig.  
  
The knocking increased, almost frantic but he didn't care. He watched the YouTube clip in front of him and blocked it out. A few seconds later and no knocking came again.   
  
Good, he thought, go away.   
  
His phone lit up beside him and he grabbed it and looked at the screen and saw her name. He blinked and pulled the phone farther away from his face. Nope, it still read "Mer."  
  
He slid the unlock screen over cautiously and opened his messages:  
  
Mer: I know you are in there  
  
His brow furrowed even more then perked. His head craned over the couch again and looked at his front door. He threw his phone aside and stood from the couch, pulling up his sweats while walking down the hall. He tugged the door open and there she was, phone in hand and sheepish smile on her face, "hey..."  
  
He blinked again, like he had at his phone, "Hey..."  
  
She bit her bottom lip and twisted her purse strap nervously as she racked her brain for something to say.  
  
"I wanted to see Sleep."  
  
Confusion seemed to stay put. When he finally registered what she said he shook his head slightly as if to clear his head then stepped back with the door, "Oh. Sure."  
  
She stepped in timidly giving him a small smile, not baring her teeth, and walked around him, "Is he in your room?"   
  
He shook his head bringing his hand to the back of his neck, "No, he's on the porch."  
  
She nodded and headed that way easily knowing her way around the house so well it gave him a pang. He followed her until they got to the living room and stopped, leaning against the hallway wall. He watched as she slid the sliding glass door open and vanished into his porch.  
  
Was this actually happening? He hadn't seen her in two weeks and he honestly had no idea where they stood. Apparently it was still in the area of "I'm not afraid to be near you" but closer to "but I'm only here for your dog."   
  
That thought lead him to the thought that had been burned into the back of his memory since she'd implied them: only here for the baby. He felt his temper rise and quickly redirected his thoughts. Two weeks had given him a lot of time to think over what had been said and he'd come to realize once again, they were both in the wrong with that fight. Low blows flew on both sides and it wasn't fair to blame her for coming to that question.  
  
Maks shifted and began slowly walking to the porch. He slid the sliding glass door open and saw Meryl and Sleep resting on the couch; the big slobbery dog curled close to her belly as her back pressed against the cushions of the couch staring over the neighborhood. She'd heard him come and gave him a weak smile then turned back to the city & petting the old dogs back. He took a moment to look over her. Her little stomach was a little more fuller and Maks couldn't help the feeling of pride that came over him. It was primal instinct, he'd figured, but he felt it all the same.  
  
He walked over to the couch and sat down at the other end. He joined her in watching over his town. His old town. He had been gathering boxes and packing slowly since last week. There was an empty apartment in New York City waiting for him. The porch no longer had a wall of mirrors or the lanterns she'd loved hanging up, just the couches and boxes left.  
  
"Val said you weren't eating," she mumbled, still not looking at him. He shook his head and looked down at his lap, "I have."  
  
He felt when she looked at him, her steel grey eyes ran over him like liquid silk, "Good."  
  
They went back to not talking after that, the sound of LA and Sleep snoring filled the void. She shifted and her toes brushed his thigh but neither of them flinched. It wasn't awkward, but it was void. There was a calmness between them that was never there before and it made him both curious and nervous. He let his mind wander again, rubbing his overly stumbled jaw with his hand.   
  
"When are you leaving?" She asked softly.  
  
He scanned the boxes, "I think I'll be all packed up in two weeks. I have this place until the end of May, so I have time."   
  
She nodded and scratched Sleeps ear, "And Val?"  
  
"He's got a place with Sergie."   
  
"Mmmm." She hummed her response and it made him remember her morning voice and the way she would stretch and smile at him. He turned his head away from her and squinted at the setting sun, "When are you leaving?"  
  
She stiffened, "Tomorrow."  
  
He was glad he was facing away. He closed his eyes for a minute and let the pieces fall were they may then let out a deep breath. He'd figured so. Val had been dropping subtle hints for a while and Maks wasn't stupid. She chose to go to Michigan.   
  
The balmy LA evening smoothed over his skin like an extra layer. He let himself bask in it knowing that his home was going to be New York again and LA wouldn't. He ran his tongue over his teeth and sighed, "So what's that mean for you and me?"  
  
She shook her head, "I don't know."  
  
Wasn't that the truth. He let his head fall and he closed his eyes, the sun setting had cast a shadow on his face. He saw that she sat up, disentangling herself from the dog and brought her knees to her chest.  
She scooted closer to Maks, close enough to were both of her feet were under his thigh. The corner of his lips twitched; her feet were probably cold.  
  
"I'm sorry, you know?" She sounded almost broken at the apology. She put her chin to her knees, "I guess somewhere along the way we just messed up."  
  
He nodded and wrapped a hand around one of her slim ankles and squeezed. He just needed to touch her, "I guess so."  
  
"But I don't want to leave when it's like this," she said, "not again."  
  
He swallowed the rock sized lump in his throat, "I don't either." He set his eyes upwards and whispered, "I don't want you to leave."   
  
She wiggled her toes under his leg and laid her head on her knees instead of her chin, her eyes watching the sun set, "Thats always been our problem, hasn't it? Can't stay, gotta go, don't want to."  
  
He squeezed her ankle again, "What a shitty problem to have."  
  
Her laugh bubbled to the surface and it laid on his chest like a welcome hug. He looked down at her and drank her in. She bit her lip and let it slide through her teeth, "Some people have it worse, I suppose."  
  
"You're right."   
  
"I wish things were different," Her tone told him she was admitting something, maybe even to herself, "I wish that things were back to the way they were... But I wasn't happy then either, really. Because it's always been this way. Both of us coming and going and "making time" to see the other. It's not supposed to be that way. We can't live that way. Our baby can't either."   
  
The truth hurt. He knew that, deep down. He knew that they had to change more so than they ever had to change before to make it work- but neither of them knew how. They'd both been independent so long that they didn't know what it was like to change their life for someone else was like. It wasn't in either of their natures. He nodded and took in a deep breath memorizing her words like scripture.  
  
"I guess there's the answer then," The words burned as they left his tongue, "At least for now."  
  
She finally turned to face him and he could tell by the look in her eyes that that was not the answer she'd wanted or expected. He reached up and ran a hand along her bottom lashes of her left eye and smiled softly at the feeling of the softness. She was looking up at him with questioning eyes but she didn't ask anything she just leaned into his touch instead.   
  
When her eyes opened again she searched his face, "I want you to come to Michigan more. I don't want excuses, I just want you there, okay?"  
  
"Okay." And he meant that. Completely.   
  
"And... And I want to tell your parents. In person." He nodded. He would do whatever she'd want.   
  
Maks pushed his hand back so it tangled in her hair, "And I want you," He said strongly, "I want to do this for both you and the baby."  
  
She let her eyes flutter open and she nodded. She turned her head and kissed his wrist softly. He knew that's what she needed to hear- and she'd need to hear it again. He'd say it until she believed him.   
  
He dropped his hand and studied her, memorizing every curve and edge. Meryl sat back and he could see her relax- invisible tension evaporated from her body. "Will you stay with me?"  
  
He had barely recognized his own voice let alone registered he was the one saying those words. She regarded him and then she nodded, "I will."  
  
The night simmered to a soft warmth, cool enough for sweats and hoodies. Some time during the course of the evening she'd found his clothing draws and picked out clothes; the black sweatshirt she wore was three times too big for her and the sweatpants she tried to wear, but soon discarded, where even more large on her still small frame.   
  
They sat in the living room eating their dinner out of carrying-away folded boxes from the Chinese restaurant down the street watching the same show he was before. She sat in his t shirt and socks, not much else, smiling happily at the television and popped a noodle in her mouth.  
  
She was beautiful. She was even more beautiful somehow with her glow and her smile. She glanced over at him and put a hand to her mouth, "What? Do I have something on my face?"  
  
He almost said no but instead he leaned forward and acted like he was going to wipe whatever imaginary article on her chin was and then he kissed her. Soft and sweet. She didn't reply right away but soon her lips slanted over his. She pressed forward and deepened the kiss, her small tongue ran over his bottom lip. He kissed her until he had the taste of her fully on his own lips before he pulled away. When she opened her eyes she was flushed and the silver of her eyes were invaded by her dilated pupils.   
  
"All gone," he said against her lips with a teasing smile. She blinked quickly, her brow furrowed and then she shook her head, "Oh. Thank you."  
  
He nodded completely satisfied with himself and leaned back on the couch. He could still feel her eyes on him and then he felt a shift of pressure beside him. He turned to see her on her knees, lifting his arm. He let her do whatever she was doing easily. She turned so her back was pressed against his side and her hair tickled the side of his neck. She draped his strong arm across her chest so his hand lied on her stomach. She picked up her food again and plucked another noodle in her mouth, turning her attention back to the TV.  
  
He smiled. A full smile that felt foreign to his lips, yet still very much welcome. He splayed his hand across her belly and rubbed and she cuddled in closer, "That feels good," she said softly, "Sometimes my skin feels too tight on my belly."   
  
He looked down at her and then her stomach. He leaned down and kissed the crown of her head, breathing her in the television show forgotten; the only this he wanted to see was right under his arm, molded against his side.  
  
She laughed again, making both of them jiggle. He smiled into her hair and for that moment everything was perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahw how sweet, right?!? I thought YAll deserved some reconciliation! Ha! Anyways thank you for all the likes, reblogs, follows, reviews, Etc! Please know I see all of your comments but I'm a jerk and I want to reply and maybe one day I'll find a way! Hope you guys liked this!


	12. Window Sills

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A small apartment can seem all too big when your in it alone. When someone is with you all the time, how does one manage when they are suddenly so very, very alone?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Weee! Chapter twelve- as requested. Yo Tumblr, you guys are way too good too me! I know that some have been waiting so, I hope this helps! Thank you for any comments, reblogs, reviews, likes, kudos, etc. that ya'll give- it means the world! :) Please check the End Authors Notes! I hope y'all enjoy! Love you! Always- J.

She laid there in her bed with her eyes open staring blankly at the ceiling above her watching the morning shadows dance and throw in silence. The house was too quiet and the threat of loneliness nipped at the back of her neck like a demon breathing fire and brimstone, but still, she stayed were she was. She had no plans for the day; no appointments or papers to write or anything that called for her attention and it was all she could do to not scrunch her nose in disgust.

When her alarm finally went off she sat up and walked to the shower only to get out and put a new clean pair of pajamas back on. She walked to the kitchen and threw a bowl of cereal together then sat alone at her kitchen table. She took a bite of her sugary cereal and looked around her apartment. A hollowing took place in her stomach again, like it did last night while she sat in the same spot eating a salad for dinner.

She was never alone. Charlie, Marina, Maks, Jenna, Mom, Dad. Someone was always there. The past three days in Michigan that realization had hit her like a freight train and she hated it. Despised it. The feeling of alone- being actually, completely, utterly alone made her stomach turn. She finished what she could of her cereal and did her lone dishes, again, in silence.

And then her phone rang.

Meryl jumped at the opportunity to hear anything but her own thoughts and ran to her bedroom, scrambling to grab her phone. She didn’t look at the screen, “Hello?”

“Meryl?”

Her heart inflated, “Charlie?”

“Are you okay?” His breathy laugh made her feel better instantly. She didn’t realize she’d been breathing harder than normal from her burst of action.

She smiled and took in a deep breath, “I’m okay.”

“You are also in Michigan,” He said, “And you haven’t come to see us. Finn misses you.”

“Only Finn?”

“Well, and DJ too.” He said exasperated.

She rolled her eyes but couldn’t rub the smile from her face. She had missed Charlie. She’d missed skating and Artic Edge and the smell of the ice after it was cleaned. She missed the carefree feeling of gliding. “I missed you too, Charlie.”

He laughed again, his easy laugh, “So when are you going to come see me?”

She opened her mouth to say as soon as possible but her tongue stopped her. She looked down at her stomach and saw the way it puffed. If anyone would notice her current condition it would be the man who had grown up getting to know every run of her body. Her eyes darted around the room and found purchase on the article of their win framed on her wall. She felt guilty for not telling him- they’d won an Olympic Gold medal together, they’d discussed his proposal and helped him with a ring but she couldn’t get the words out from her throat.

“Meryl? Still there?”

“Oh,” She closed her eyes and put her business voice on, “Actually I’d love to see you guys for dinner. When are you free?”

“Let me ask,” He said, “I’m gonna put the phone down.”

She smiled and shook her head. He was asking now. Meryl waited biting at her finger nail- not sure where she’d picked up the habit. A few moments later Charlie’s voice reappeared, “T says that we are free on Thursday. If that works for you.”

She was free every night of the week, “I think that sounds good.”

They exchanged little pleasantries and hung up. She threw the phone on the bed beside her then sighed rubbing her knuckles against her eyes. She waited for something, anything to happen but it didn’t. She was still alone sitting in her room when she decided she was over feeling sorry for herself. She hopped out of bed and pulled real clothes on then took off, on foot to find whatever something she was waiting for.

Meryl found herself standing at the base of her parent’s driveway about an hour later. Her feet were aching and her back felt strained from the pulling on her abdomen and she was almost sure her nose was going to freeze over. She went to the door and didn’t bother knocking. The house was warm against cold and it smelled like she was making granola again. Meryl walked towards the kitchen, and as she figured, her mother was bent over a cookie tray with an apron and spatula on her person.

“Hey mom.”

Cheryl turned and furrowed her brow then smiled, “I forgot you came back for a second.”

She smiled at her mom then walked to the island and took a seat on the counter, “Surprise,” She said flatly.

Cheryl looked over her shoulder and smiled at her daughter then went back to separating the oats in front of her, “How are you feeling?”

Meryl shrugged, “I’m fine. About as normal as possible I think.”

Cheryl nodded, “How’s baby- what’s Jenna calling it this week?”

“Avocado.”

“Baby Avocado,” She said with amusement laced through her tone.

“Avocado is doing just fine,” Meryl replied with a smirk.

“Good. How are you settling in? Everything okay?”

“Yup.”

“And… How Jenna doing? Missing you get?”

“She’s good. Probably likes having the house back to herself,” Meryl grimaced thinking of walking in one to many times but brushed it off.

“And how’s Val doing?”

Meryl arched an eyebrow at her mother’s back, “Fiiiiine.” She dragged out the word.

“Good. Good.” She still wacked the granola with the spatula, “You get that new Doctor?”

“Yes, mom.” Meryl crossed her arms over her chest and waited.

“Good- I heard great things about Doctor Kyle. Sharon said Hannah had a great delivery.” Meryl tilted her head at her mother but didn’t respond. She knew her mom could feel the eyes on the back of her head but she didn’t turn around, “And whose going with you to those appointments?”

Meryl narrowed her eyes, “Mom.”

“Yeah?” She said over her shoulder.

“You want to ask me something. I know you do. Just ask it.”

Cheryl glanced at her daughter and smiled sheepishly. She sat the spatula down and turned to face Meryl, leaning her back against the counter behind her, gripping the edges, “How’s Maks?”

Meryl pursed her lips a little and let her arms fall to her side. She groped for something to play with and thankfully the bowl of fruit her mother always kept on the island was still there. She picked up an apple blindly and started twirling the stem, “He’s… He’s fine. Moving to New York next week.”

“Really?” She said, “Doesn’t he already live there?”

She nodded, “But he sold his house in LA and bought a new apartment in SoHo, I guess.”

“Mmm.” She mumbled, “How do you feel about that?”

Meryl licked her lips and shrugged one shoulder, “Fine I guess? Okay. I mean he bought it before all of this happened and… Yeah, so I’m fine.”

Cheryl studied her daughter for a second, “You sure?”

“Sure as I’ll ever be.” She said matter of fact, “He’s coming for the appointment to meet Doctor Kyle next week so that’ll be good. We get the anatomy scan then.”

Cheryl didn’t reply. Meryl watched Cheryl as her mother scanned her; the look of curiosity, unsureness and maybe even pity was hidden below her rock stoic features. Meryl shifted uncomfortably under her gaze and swallowed, “I’ll be fine.”

Cheryl seemed to come back to reality at her voice and sighed about to say something but then got stopped at the sound of a FaceTime.

Meryl pulled her phone from the front of her hoodie pocket and saw it was Maks. She furrowed her brow and pulled the slide over, opening the notification. He appeared on the screen; sweaty and out of breath but smiling, “Hey.”

“Hi,” She said curiously. Cheryl walked behind her daughter and waved at the screen, “Hey Maks!”

“Oh, hey Cheryl,” he smiled and nodded, “How are you?”

“I’m fine,” She said scanning his background. Meryl looked at her mom over her shoulder and pursed her lips. Cheryl laughed and nudged her daughter.

“Hold on a second, Maks.” She began to walk out of the kitchen and very loudly said, “Some people give no privacy.”

Cheryl laughed as Meryl walked up the stairs automatically towards her old room. It was still the same, light blue walls with trophies lining the shelves. She still had stuffed animals from competitions on her old bed and her ancient computer was in the corner with posters surrounding it on the walls. She wasn’t sure her mom even touched the room since she’d moved out. Meryl flicked on the light and walked towards the bed, “What’s up?”

He looked almost giddy as he bit the inside of his cheek, “I wanted to show you something- I know you’ve already seen it, but, it just hit me.”

She tilted her head and smiled softly, “Okay.”

“Okay, so I’m here in the apartment, right? And I’m unpacking my boxes that I have so far and placing things, ya know?”

She nodded, not responding with words, “And then I went downstairs and you know the deli on the corner? I had lunch there and walking back I found this,” He pulled out a stuffed yellow giraffe, “And I know it’s stupid-“

He stopped adjusting his thoughts for a second, “I thought, ‘Man where can I put this?’ ya know?”

She felt her throat begin to tighten as the camera moved with him, “And I thought, why not here?”

He turned the camera to an empty room with the little giraffe sitting in the middle of the room by itself. The room was smaller but bright and airy and the windows were huge and beautiful and had a seat off of them for someone- their little someone to sit and read on. She felt the back of her eyes burn and her chest tighten. She knew what he was getting at; that was where he wanted the baby’s room. She swallowed and nodded unable to use her voice. He flipped the screen around, “So?”

She nodded sharply, “Yeah, Maks… Yeah that’s perfect.”

A sense of pride ran over his face as he stepped further into the room, “And this is where the crib could be so that the sun doesn’t hurt their eyes in the morning,” He gestured to another area, “And this could be where the bookshelf goes and one of those gliders?”

He kept going telling her his vision for the rooms while she was stuck in Michigan. He smiled, he was so excited. When he was done telling her about the vision he’d made in such a short amount of time she just nodded again, doing her best to look excited. She was sure if she spoke she’d break down.

“Anyway,” He said contentedly, “That’s just my thought.”

Meryl bit her bottom lip. It really was perfect. What was more perfect was that he’d used words like, “We” and “you” and “us.” She shook her head quickly as he kept talking. She wasn’t sure what’d he’d said- the only thing that she was thinking was about sitting on the window sill watching Maks read to their baby, him wrapping his arms around the child while their back was pressed against his chest looking at the pictures as he read. The child’s sweet face looking up at her while she sat on the other side of the sill just watching.

And that’s when the thought hit her that there hadn’t even been a discussion on that yet. Clearly he’d thought she’d be there, but when? When would they ever get back to that point? He’d been moving in their on his own when it was supposed to be theirs and she suddenly felt very out of place in this metaphorical planning, “Whatever you think is best, Maks.”

He stopped for a second, a short trip, then smiled, “You too.”

She bit the inside of her cheek and nodded, “It’s your house though.”

She could see that his knee jerk reaction was to probably say something like ‘yours too’ but then he stopped himself. She watched as his jaw opened slightly then snapped shut as he glanced around the soon-be nursery, “Uhm, yeah. I mean…. Yeah. But,” He cleared his throat, “I hope you’ll be around to enjoy it too.”

She smiled softly at that. He always made her feel better, maybe he wasn’t even trying. She nodded and cleared her throat back, “I hope so too.”

He beamed at her and, as if he was right there in the room with her, she felt it down to her toes. She pursed her lips to the side and watched him. He was perfectly imperfect in the best and worst ways. He moved on to another subject of the bathroom across the hall from the nursery but like before, she only heard clouded words as her own mind raced; raced about how she wished she was there instead and how she wished she could just say what she felt but instead she closed up.

“So. Yeah. That’s about it,” He shrugged and glanced around the room, “I know I’m flying back to LA in not tomorrow but the next day,” He was scheduling in his head, “And then on Friday I’ll be back here for good. I’m flying into Michigan on Tuesday.”

“That sounds good,” She said, “I know the appointments at 10am on Wednesday.”

“What time do you want me to get to your house?”

She cocked an eyebrow, “Huh?”

He glanced off away from the phone, “What time…”

“You’re staying with me,” She said matter-of-fact, “You aren’t staying in a hotel, Maks.” She didn’t want to be alone and if he was in town he was staying with her. No questions asked.

“I just thought,” He started.

She shook her head, “Nope. You’re staying with me, buddy.”

It was his turn to raise an eyebrow, “Buddy?”

“Is snuggle bear, better? I do like that one.” She smiled. And just like that, once again, they were transported back to the old times. The laughing and joking and smiling but unlike before, this time she felt more comfortable and it was more… attainable. She smiled and he shook his head, laughter still in the creases of his eyes, “Plain bear will be just fine.”

She rolled her eyes playfully at that, “Fine- Bear.” She tapped her chin dramatically, “You are brood-ish like a bear.”

“But a very cute bear,” He stated proudly. The smiles faded to a natural grin and then he stretched, groaning, “Better go. I have to finish unpacking this place.”

When they hung up she started to feel the hollow that was in her stomach fill. She smiled softly to herself and shook her head. It was nuts how they could just fall back into their old selves so quickly. It was like being transported in time for a brief stint, a taste of something that will soon come. She stood and looked around her old room and smiled when she saw a smaller, less fluffy yellow giraffe in the mountain of stuffed animals on her childhood bed.

She narrowed her eyes at it and bit her lip. She decided that fate was smiling down on her, but it just had a cruel sense of humor. She grabbed the small stuffed animal and stuffed it in her hoodie pocket. Meryl walked back down stairs and said goodbye to her mother then walked back out into the cool Michigan air.

She waited for the aloneness to hit her again, that cruel twist in her stomach, but it never came. She took another step out onto the sidewalk and this time loneliness wasn’t licking at her heals. Her hands rested on the animal in her pocket as it pressed against her stomach and she smiled to herself. She wasn’t alone. She never was. She never would be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! So we are finally getting to the thick of it- the Maks and Meryl goodies! Yay! And we get Charlie and Tanith too! Next chapter will be a dinner and another appointment and Maksyl back together again! So that's fun! Also! I'm starting to put Meryl's pregnancy info at the end of this so watch that! :)
> 
> Baby Chmerkovskiy  
> 16 weeks  
> Size: Avocado  
> Gender: ?  
> Cravings: Celery and Sugary Cereal- Lucky Charms!  
> Worst Part of Pregnancy: Crying  
> Best Part of Pregnancy: Eating  
> Most Excited For: Ultrasound to see if baby is a boy or girl.
> 
> Tummy size:  
> [](http://s1383.photobucket.com/user/jessiborton/media/tummy%20sizee_zpstfs2wj05.png.html)


	13. Find It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy. Cheerful. Contented. Delighted. Ecstatic. Elated. Glad. Joyful. Joyous.  
> (This chapter has no appearance of Maks but essential, please enjoy!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> During the midst of laundry day, homework, and dancing ridiculously to "Dressed without a Smile" by Sia I somehow got this chapter done. 
> 
> If you're on tumblr I have planned out the next two chapters and one of them is the smut I promised, so YAY! lol. Forewarning those who do not like smut, it won't have a plot or much to do with the story itself so if you do not like it, you can skip it! :) 
> 
> I hope y'all enjoy! Love you! Always- J.

Meryl tore the shirt off and tossed it on her bed with a huff. She stared down at the ever growing pile of ‘no’ shirts for tonight’s dinner and shook her head- she hadn’t found even _one_ shirt that could go in the _maybe_ pile. Frustrated she turned to her closet and scanned; she didn’t want a too-tight shirt and she didn’t want one that was too loose but she had nothing that was in between.

Glancing at her clock she saw she only had a little bit to finish getting ready and jump in her car to head to the restaurant in Detroit. Why they chose to go all the way to the city, she didn’t know but it gave her enough time to practice her speech on the way. She scanned the closet once more and settled on all black- yet another thing she had picked up from Maks. She wore black jeans, a black shirt tight enough to show off her bump and a black leather jacket to help conceal it with a pair of gray pumps to ‘class it up.’ She threw on a gray scarf and fluffed her already curled hair and walked out of her house feeling completely unsure and nervous; not that that was a change from most days.

Driving to Detroit had been uneventful. She’d repeated the words over in her head, “Charlie- I know this is sudden but before I say anything I want you to know I’m happy…” She nodded her head curtly as she resaid her whole speech out loud to her dash board. It would do. He maybe wouldn’t understand but he would accept it if he knew she was happy. Maybe. Well, if she was being honest with herself she didn’t know how he was going to react. They’d talked about having kids one day but it was all metaphorical. She knew Tanith wanted children and so did Charlie but Meryl was sure no one thought it would be her taking them to dinner to announce a pregnancy.

She drove to the swanky restaurant in downtown Detroit and dropped her car off at the door. She was sure she was there first, until that is, she saw Charlie and Tanith throw the front windows. She stopped and watched them for a second. They smiled and cooed at each other, sitting next to each other at a table. Charlie must have said something funny because Tanith grabbed his forearm and threw her head forward, a huge smile on her face. It was a sight of people completely in love- a sight that burned deep in her soul with both jealousy and happiness for her friends. Meryl tugged the leather coat tighter around her and watched them for a second longer, them being completely wrapped up in the other.

After a moment another moment she tucked her chin against her chest and walked inside the establishment. It was warm and busy, a low hum hung in the air of idle chat from the visitors. They air had a pleasant vibe of happiness that settled well on her shoulders. She waved at the hostess and walked towards her friends but stopped. What did she want to do? Keep the jacket wrapped snuggly around her, concealing the secret bomb she was going to drop? Did she want to just throw caution to the wind and let the pieces fall where they may- consequences be damned?

Before she had a chance to decide Charlie had spotted her. He stood, a huge smile on his face waving her over. Meryl’s eye’s moved from Charlie to Tanith and they both looked to welcoming and happy to see her that her nervousness started to fade. Meryl smiled back nervously and began walking to him. He held his arms out to her and she naturally walked into them, encircling his waist with her arms. She carefully kept her stomach away from his and when they broke and moved to sit she caught a glimpse of Tanith. Her friend looked at her curiously and she knew, in that moment, that Tanith had known without so much as a hello. She kept her mouth in a line as she sat and finally met Tanith head on, “Hey.”

 “Hey, Meryl.” Tanith said easily. She smiled easily and grabbed Charlie’s hand as he settled in his seat. She gave Meryl a slight head turn- a very subtle furrowing of her brow and an even smaller head nod. Meryl turned the corners of her mouth up at her friend and nodded minutely. Charlie didn’t even the silent conversation between the two of them.

“So, Meryl,” Charlie said, “What have you been up to?”

He was smiling, a natural smile that had no intention behind it other than he friend had returned home. Meryl shifted in her seat and cleared her throat, “Not much, really. Glad to be home.”

“Have you missed the Michigan chill?”

“Oddly enough, yes.” She said, “Nothing like home. But how about you, how are you?”

“Great.” He said looking over at Tanith, “Ready for this wedding to take off. We just got done final sampling our cake.”

“Ah,” Meryl said with a smile. Charlie winked at Tanith who beamed back. It was almost sickly sweet. The waitress came over and took their orders and they settled back to talking.

“It’s been a crazy spring,” Tanith said, “But after this wedding and all it’ll be great to just settle back. I’m excited for it, you know?”

Meryl nodded. She did know; she would love to be able to settle down and just be. She and Charlie had announced their retirements soon before Dancing with the Stars happened and since things had been slow but he was taking it very well. He even picked up teaching skating once a week. “How’s that skating thing going, Charlie?”

He took a sip from his water and nodded, “Mm, great. I love it. The kids are amazing.”

 “It would be great,” She said evenly. She cleared her throat and took a sip of her water. The conversation had come to a lull and a comfortable silence had fallen around the table. She knew it was now or never.

“Charlie.” He looked up from his food and raised an eyebrow. She glanced at Tanith as if she could find the words but found her friend nodding her head at her in support, instead. Meryl leveled her gaze at Charlie, “Wouldn’t it be cool to train our own kids?”

This wasn’t how her speech was supposed to start off. She wanted to kick herself. Charlie pursed his lips and tilted his head from side to side, “It would. But you’d probably have so many comments that _I_ wouldn’t be the one training them anymore.” He smiled.

Meryl laughed weakly, “Well. Uhm. Maybe that’ll happen sooner than you think.”

He didn’t seem to grab hold of the idea per the continued focus on his meal in front of him. She looked over at Tanith and Tanith elbowed him in his sides. He furrowed his brow at his fiancé who then nodded her head over to Meryl. His confusion shifted to Meryl, “What?” He asked innocently.

Meryl swallowed and said, “Maybe you’ll be training our kids sooner than you thought.”

He shrugged and looked to the side then back at Meryl, “Maybe?”

She wanted to stomp her foot. She actually just wanted to put her foot in her mouth but she couldn’t. Meryl looked him dead in the eyes and pursed her lips, “As in you will be.”

He shook his head at her exasperatedly and then suddenly his face fell. His face went from confused to stunned then back to confused, “Wait… are you…?”

She nodded unabashedly at his inference. The fork he had midair soon went back to rest on his plate as he sat back and stared at her. She felt small under his gaze but didn’t look away. She wasn’t ashamed of her baby and no one would be able to make her feel that way. But, his look wasn’t judgmental or crucifying, she decided, it was surprised. Confused.

He turned to Tanith, “Did you know?”

She shook her head, “Not until she walked in.”

He looked back at Meryl, “Well...”

She swallowed the ever growing lump in her throat and bit her lip. He raised his eyebrows, a smile falling effortlessly on his features, “Why didn’t you just come out and say it?”

Meryl let out a breath she didn’t even realize she’d been holding and let out a wavering laugh, “I didn’t want to ruin anything- I was nervous.”

“Nervous?” He said leaning forward, looking at her like she was just a silly girl, “Why would you ever be nervous? Congratulations, Mer.”

She felt like crying. She felt like laughing at herself. She slumped back in her chair and shook her head incredulously at her friend, “I have no idea.”

He reached across the table and took her hand and squeezed hard, “Me either. I’m proud of you Meryl. You are going to be the best mom.”

She wanted to slap him for making her heart burst but she settled on squeezing his hand and blinking away the sudden onset of tears that had formed in her eyes. She had never thought that she would have the support she got from her family. Everyone was so kind and so sure of her that she had no other choice but to be sure of herself too. She looked at Tanith who was smiling brightly over at her.

“You really will, Meryl.” Tanith said genuinely.

Meryl shook her head at her friends and smiled. Charlie let go of her hand but didn’t stop smiling at her until he looked at his fiancé again and sighed dramatically, “Looks like we’re behind. Better try and catch up.”

Tanith’s jaw dropped at his words and shoved him away from her playfully. Meryl laughed with her friends and felt another load of stress fall from her shoulders. She felt light as air. She felt herself smile; a huge smile. Just a smile from simply being happy and then she shook her head. She bit her bottom lip and held back another assault on tears- but this time they were happy. Happy because she was happy and she had people that loved her more than she’d ever imagined.

Charlie turned back to her, twinkle still in his eye, “So. Tell me all about it. I want to know.”

“Well. Okay.” She said simply, “Are you sure you wanna hear all about it, Charles?”

He looked at Tanith, a fake expression of fear on his face, “Do I?”

Tanith tilted her head mischievously at him, “Too late, friend.”

And so she did. She told him about finding out and about Maks. She told him about the show and the morning sickness and the doctors’ appointments and what they said. By the end of her story she was sure she was almost blue in the face but her friends were still completely enthralled, “So, what does that mean for you and Maks?” Tanith asked.

She shrugged, her hands folded in her lap, “I’m not really sure. He has a nursery room ready to go in New York but I’m here.”

“Why?” Charlie asked.

“What?” She laughed.

“What are you doing here?”

“Well… I live here,” She said questioningly.

He shook his head, “That’s never stopped you before.”

She opened her mouth to reply but quickly snapped it shut. What could she say to that but she settled on, “I don’t really know what we are.”

“You aren’t going to find out while you’re sitting here in the middle of Michigan.” Tanith smiled.

She glanced back and forth from her friends and then shifted her eyes up to the ceiling, “I know you’re right. I just…. It’s harder than that, I think.”

“Says who?” Charlie asked.

She shrugged and then looked at them both wide eyed, “Are you two ganging up on me?”

“No,” they said together.

She smiled and shook her head at them then sighed. It was true. Who said it had to be this hard? No one but her and her dramatic brain; her heart knew what it wanted but somewhere there was a disconnect.

“What do you suggest then?” Meryl asked.

“I say when you see him on Tuesday you just act like you want to. No holding back.” Tanith said.

Charlie nodded, “And, bring him to the Wedding. It’s not hard Meryl-E. It never was before all this, it won’t be now. You just have to let yourself give in. It’s not a competition.”

She pursed her lips and moved them from side to side letting her friend’s words roll around in her brain for a second hoping they would stick. They were right. If she felt like she wanted to just be with him, just hold his hand, and go back to normal- why couldn’t they? If they both wanted to be Maks and Meryl again, why was she stopping them?

_Because you’re stubborn,_ Maks’ voice ran through her mind, _because for some reason you think things don’t just happen. You don’t always have to work hard, not for me. Never for me._

She took her bottom lip between her teeth and shifted in her chair, her stomach rubbing her tiny stomach again as the image of him saying that to her burned into her brain. When she looked up her friends where staring at her, both had small smiles on their faces. She rolled her eyes and laughed, “You’re right and you know it.”

The audacity of the two of them- they high fived right in front of her. She shook her head and laughed again. Charlie winked at her then settled back again, “So what’s the plan?”

“I’m not sure,” She said honestly, “I think… I think that maybe I should have no plan?”

Tanith straightened, “That’s the spirit.”

“Look at you,” Charlie said proudly, “My little Meryl is growing up.”

“Oh my gosh,” She said. She was pretty sure if her face wasn’t cracked from smiling by the time she left it would be a miracle. Later after many more laughs Meryl stood to leave. Charlie rose with her and said he’d cover the bill. Knowing he wouldn’t take no for an answer she thanked him. Meryl quickly hugged Tanith who rubbed her belly just as hastily and then she turned back to Charlie.

“Let me walk you out,” He said taking her elbow.

They walked through the busy restaurant and reached the front. The cold wind swept through the tall buildings and Meryl zipped her jacket as best she could and stuffed her hands in her pockets. Charlie faced her, he had a look on his face she’d never seen before, “I love you Meryl. I hope you know that.”

She stepped back and nodded, “I know, Charlie. I love you too.”

“And I just want what’s best for you,” He sighed, “And when you were with Maks you were the happiest I’d ever seen.”

She smiled gently, “Thank you.”

“That doesn’t mean I won’t kick his ass if he hurts you again.”

She raised her eyebrows at him, “Charlie, don’t test that.”

He mocked offense then shook his head, “I guess what I’m trying to say is… Is that I know how special he is to you and I know how much you miss him, whether you tell me or not. He has made you happier than anyone I’ve ever seen you with. Don’t let that go if you don’t have to.”

Meryl pulled her hand from outside her pocket and took his, “You are the best guy I know, Charlie White.”

“It’s tough being me,” He winked and then pulled her against his chest. She wrapped her arms around him tight, “Be happy Meryl,” He said before letting go.

She stepped back and smiled softly then turned towards the car service. She handed the young boy her car ticket then looked over her shoulder at Charlie and smiled wider, giving him a small wave. He nodded once and walked back into the restaurant where his happy waited.

She watched them again through the window, but only for a second this time as he walked back to Tanith. He leaned down and kissed her chastely, a smile infinitely burned to his face.  She looked back ahead of her and smiled.

She was going to find her happy and keep it this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **ANNNNNND Breakthrough!**
> 
> AHW I FEEL THE FEELS WITH THIS ONE. I love Charlie and Meryl so I really wanted to make this chapter about them, with the costar of Tanith. 
> 
> I hope you guy's enjoyed this one. Since its during the same week of the previous chapter I won't be posting the pregnancy info, but! I will post a pic of her outfit! :) 
> 
> Hope y'all enjoyed! Thanks for all the comments, reviews, etc! 
> 
> Meryl's Outfit:  
> [](http://s1383.photobucket.com/user/jessiborton/media/outfit%20thick%20of%20it_zpsjad85q8d.jpg.html)
> 
> "Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile," Sia  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ll6Sh4v1Mks


	14. Normandy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carnival food in disguise and tiny toes- these are a few of her favorite things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 14 yeah~! lol. I'm proud of myself for writing today. This was not in my life plan. lol. But I wanted to give y'all something so here it is. This is the longest chapter so far- and I'll tell you now its completely and totally full of fluff and fun and little jokes because I fully believe all they do is joke around with each other and be cute. :) Anyways! I hope you enjoy! Love you! Always!- J.
> 
> as always please check the End A/N's! :)

Meryl shifted from foot to foot, pursing her lips with her arms across her chest as she waited for the fliers to filter out of the small local airport. Maks had opted to fly from Detroit airport to the one a town over from Canton meaning less passengers and less chance for pictures; also meaning she was able to meet him at the gate which never happened.

She adjusted her sunglasses from sliding down her nose then stood on her tip toes and peered over the shoulders of people much taller than her while trying to look for Maks. There was a tap on her shoulder and when she turned around she felt the air run out of her lungs. He was there, smiling down at her with tired but happy eyes, “Hey.”

Looking back on it now, Meryl probably would have blushed or scorned herself, but she had stuck with her plan- no plan, free emotions. Meryl stood back on her tip toes and wrapped her arms tightly around his shoulders; the force of her body attaching to his pushed him back a little. He laughed breathily against her ear sending silent chills down her spine in its wake. She squeezed his neck hard then fell back, “Hi.”

His smile only grew bigger as he adjusted the backpack strap from falling off of his shoulder, “Thank you. For that, I mean.” He gestured in front of him awkwardly. It was endearing.

“I missed you,” She said plainly just above a whisper. If he hadn’t looked like he had been bucked off the back of a raging bronco at her words she probably would have teased him, but instead she just smiled and shrugged, “Ready?”

“Yeah, I just have to grab my bag from baggage claim.” He said turning to walk with her. They walked in a slower than normal pace their arms brushing every once in a while, “So, are you excited?”

“Hm?”

“You excited to find out?” He asked again.

“Oh,” She looked in front of her and smiled, narrowed her eyes in thought, “I am. But I’m also not.”

“No?” He asked. They turned the corner towards baggage claim.

“I shouldn’t say not,” She said tilting her head from side to side, “More of… nervousness I suppose.”

He nodded, “Butterflies.”

“Butterflies.” She said confirming. They got to the baggage claim quickly- the airport was small enough that his bag was waiting when they’d arrived. He walked over to it and grabbed it. He looked good, she decided. He was a little bulkier than before- probably from a lot of factors, but she preferred him that way. She liked when she wrapped her arms around him and felt him against her, his body hard and warm but somehow soft at the same time.  He must have gotten a haircut before he came because it was shorter than the last time she’d seen him and his beard was manicured to his own perfection. She smiled at the thought of him ‘getting ready’ to come here. Going to the barber and all that fuss made her feel giddy.

She hadn’t realized he’d caught her staring until his eyebrow arched at her playfully, “You see something you like Davis?”

She shrugged with one shoulder then pursed her lips, “Mmm. Maybe.”

Both of his eyebrows rose then, a smirk playing on his lips teasing her, “Maybe, huh?”

She hummed a yeah and he shook his head clucking his teeth, “Tell that to the baby in your stomach.”

She felt her eyes grow wide and her jaw drop at him then pressed her shoulder hard into his making him stumble while laughing. She shook her head, “Maksim! Oh my word.”

He shrugged as if it was the most natural thing in the world, “Just saying.”

And then her heart skipped a beat at his smile and the way his eyes twinkled down at her. She did the only thing she knew to do and that was to slip her hand down his arm and into his palm, threading her fingers in-between his. His hand was warm and strong and tan against her milky white. She looked down at their combined hands and felt the tug at her heart she’d missed so much over the past 4 months. Meryl looked up at him and smiled, “So. I know you just got here but I thought maybe we could do something.” She began walking.

“What’s that?”

“There’s this festival- in town, it’s called the Summerfest. Theres games and rides and food. Like cotton candy. Would you want to go with me?” She asked.

“Meryl Davis, are you asking me on a date?” He mocked shock.

She tugged on his hand and laughed, “I am. If you say yes, that is.”

He sighed dramatically then smiled down at her, his eyes open and truthful, “I would love to go on a date with you Meryl.”

She bit her bottom lip and tugged on his hand gently again as they walked out of the airport.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

“Here,” Meryl reached over his lap and dropped down her glove compartment, pulling out a black pair of sunglasses and pressed them to his hand. He raised his eyebrow at her, a smile quirked on his mouth, “Its for privacy.”

He tilted his head and gave her his best, ‘are you serious look.’

“What?” She asked, forcing back a smile, “People know me around here.”

Maks sighed and put the glasses on, “Good?”

“Very.” She said with a proud smile. She pushed her car door open and stepped down on the lush green grass. They had been directed to park in the field off from the fair by men in yellow jackets with scowls. She closed the door and scanned the festival. It was like every spring. Her hometown threw Summerfest every year as a way to say goodbye to spring and hello to summer- and what better way than deep fried everything and rides that throw you in the air?

Meryl rounded the car and met Maks who was looking at the festivities in front of him. He glanced at her, the corners of his lips turned up, “So this is Summerfest, hm?”

She shrugged happily, “Welcome.” Meryl started walking through the uneven field, not waiting for him. He caught up easily and shoved his hands in his pockets walking beside her. She glanced around for the ticket booth then quickly realized she wouldn’t be needing tickets this time. Then she grasped the idea that maybe the fair wasn’t going to be as fun as she thought.

“What’s wrong?” He asked beside her.

“I… Hm.” She furrowed her brow subconsciously and shook her head, “I forgot I can’t really partake in the fest.” He looked down at her belly and formed and “o” with his mouth. She grimaced at the gravel below her feet, “Yeah.”

“There’s more to a festival than rides, right?” She felt his elbow hit her arm and she looked up. He was smiling through one side of his mouth at her then he looked around them. There were a lot of people but no one staring at them in particular. The loud music filtered out conversations around them and the smell of funnel cakes made her stomach growl. “Here,” He said, “Games. Let’s play some games.”

The two of them walked to the closet games booth; the kind with balloons lining the walls and darts shoved in the vendors pockets. Maks pulled out his wallet and handed the guy a bill, “Two.”

Meryl took her darts and narrowed her eyes at the wall trying her best to guesstimate the distance between her at the balloons. She lined up the shot and took it, the dart bounced off the cork board, “Dang it.”

Maks tried and failed too. She laughed as he scowled at the board in front of him and threw another dart, hitting a balloon not making it pop. He threw his last dark and missed again making his brow furrow in determination. He reached back to pull out his wallet again but she stopped him, “Here. Take mine. I’m no good at this game.”

He glanced from her hand to her face then back to her hand and took the darts, “You sure?”

“Yup,” She nodded, “Well… As long as you win me something.”

He smiled at her then took a shot, popping a balloon. He threw his other dart and popped a second then leaned back on his heal, rubbing his chin. He turned to her and narrowed his eyes, “Hm. Looks like you’re my good luck charm.”

“I don’t know about luck,” She said admiring the two deflated balloons on the wall, “I just give you the chance and the tools to do it.” When she turned to look up at him she caught him staring down at her incredulously. One time, when they were together before, she’d asked him what he was thinking when he looked at her like that. He told her his was mostly thinking he loved her, but also just how amazing she was.

Meryl felt her cheeks flush a little. Flustered she turned back to the guy running the booth, “So did he win anything?”

The greasy younger man flicked his toothpick in his mouth, “Get one of ‘em.” He nodded his head towards the side of the booth where the smallest stuffed animals laid. She walked over and scanned the wall and found a tiny stuffed baboon with a tuft of hair on top. She smiled at plucked it off the wall then turned to him, “What do you think?”

“Out of all the stuffed animals… You chose a mixed breed of monkey?”

“It’s a baboon!” She laughed, “It reminds me of out jungle book dance.”

He nodded, “I guess it does- huh?”

She plucked at the small hairs on the animals head and smiled, “I like him.”

“Then I like him too.”

Maks held his arm out to her and she wrapped her hand tight around his elbow as they continued walking. They stopped at a few more booths to play games. Milk bottles, more balloons, water jets, and even a fake shoot game that Meryl had somehow did an amazing job but they didn’t take any more prizes. She said she was happy with the one she got.  They walked around the carnival so many times that she’d seen some of the carnival workers start to become familiar. The sun was setting which only increased the excited buzz in the air. They had taken their disguises off a round a go and no one had noticed them yet.

“My favorite was the zipper,” She said, “One time my friend Kayla and I were on it and she made it spin so hard that I was dizzy for ten minutes after.”

He laughed and shrugged, “I didn’t really do fairs. Not like this.”

“Really?”

He pursed his lips, “Not really. Living in the city we had street fairs and stuff, but not actual carnivals or anything. Plus I was always doing something with dancing or watching Val.”

She nodded and listened. She liked when he’d talk about his childhood. It was unique- not typical in any sense of the word but still more wholesome than some kids get living next to the Jones’. “But I didn’t really mind. I liked dancing on the weekends. I learned a lot of lessons.”

“But, what about school carnivals and boy scouts and sleep away camp and-“

“And everything Midwestern?” He smiled.

She opened her mouth the leaned her head back, closing it again. “I wouldn’t change it.” Meryl moved her hand from his elbow to his hand again, “But our baby will have that, if you want.”

She looked up at him, “I don’t know…” She said distantly, “I mean you turned out better than okay.”

“Really?” He asked jokingly.

“Don’t get go getting a bigger head, Chmerkovskiy. You can barely fit in the car as it is.”

He shook his head with a smile on his face and sighed contentedly. The air wasn’t as cold as it was a week okay but she still got a chill. Like a true gentleman he unlocked their hands and pulled an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to his side. “Hungry?”

She nodded fast, “Starved.”

He pulled her a little closer, the sound of his laugh close and comforting to her ear. They walked towards the food trailer’s- lit up with big lemons and corn dogs, the smell of grease hung heavy around them. “You see any cotton candy stands?”

He looked down at her amused, “You craving cotton candy? That’s the second time you’ve mentioned it today.”

“Don’t blame me,” Meryl stood on her tip toes and grabbed the hand that had hung off of her shoulder for support and scanned the crowded stands, “It’s your baby.” She scowled at then smiled, pointing a slender finger, “There!”

She pulled him towards the stand and got in line. She let go of him and crossed her arms over her chest and scanned the large menu ahead of her. She felt him staring at her but didn’t turn until the weight of his gaze was heavy enough to bug her. He was staring down at her stomach, a small smile on his face. She felt herself grin and took his hand, “You can touch it any time you want, you know?”

He watched as she placed his hand on her belly and then glanced up at her face, his expression nervous and excited at the same time, “The baby kicks now,” She said softly, “Not often. Mainly in the mornings and only once or twice; it just started.”

He rubbed his large warm hand on her belly so softly it felt almost like a feather against her skin. She covered his hand with hers then pressed a little harder, “It’s okay.”

They stood in silence for a moment as he looked down at her and their baby like they hung the stars in the sky. She did her best to embed the image in her mind so she could look back and remember the feeling of utter elation that was under her skin; swirling and caressing every inch of her soul.

“Excuse me.”

Meryl broke and snapped her head towards the voice. It was a younger girl who was standing in line behind them to get food. Meryl looked ahead and saw that the line was no longer in front of her and she quickly apologized and stepped back from Maks touch to walk to the window.

“Excuse me,” The voice said with a little trepidation now, “Are you… Meryl Davis?”

Meryl felt her face fall ashen as she looked back at the girl and did her best to force a smile. She wasn’t sure how much the girl had seen but she knew it was probably enough. Meryl cleared her throat and nodded, “That’s me.”

“Oh, wow, I love you so much.” The girl said happily, “Do you think I could get a picture?”

“Oh- uhm,” Meryl glanced up at Maks who was looking just as shocked and stuck as she was, “Sure.”

“Thank you so much,” The girl said. Meryl moved to the younger girl’s side and posed next to her in the picture making sure you couldn’t see it her profile. The girl smiled and thanked her again and before she took off she said, “Congratulations, by the way!” forgetting her spot in line.

Meryl’s mouth felt like cotton as she turned back to Maks. He licked his lips and she could tell by the way his fingers twitched at his sides he wanted to run his hands through his hair that was currently concealed by the hood of his sweatshirt.

“We should probably go,” She said quickly.

He nodded then gestured to the food window behind him, “Let’s get you food first.”

She got her cotton candy and a fried corndog and then handed him her keys. She finished the cotton candy before they made it back to the car both from cravings demand and stress eating. They got in the car and Maks turned the engine over and smiled sheepishly at her, “We were doing so good there for a while.”

She bit her lip and sat the corndog against the paper plate they’d given her in her lap. She brushed her hands together and shook her head, “Clearly I can’t hide it much longer.”

He looked at her apologizingly, his mouth a line, “I’m sorry.”

She grinned then looked out ahead of them, “I’m not. Well, the only thing I’m sorry about it missing the fireworks.”

He furrowed his brows and shook his head, “This whole thing is like a scene from a fifties television show.”

She flicked his bicep, “Don’t make me take back that you turned out alright.”

He laughed and winked at her then put the car in reverse and drove them out of the bumpy field. They drove home and as soon as they turned into the driveway she realized how tired she was. A yawn escaped her and she unbuckled her seat belt and slid from the car. While Maks was getting his luggage from the car she unlocked the door and threw her keys on the rack. She trudged up the stairs muffling another yawn. When she finally made it into her room she put her prize on her dresser and smiled. She quickly put her pajamas on then wandered out into the living room where Maks had his luggage out and open on the couch, “What are you doing?”

He looked up from his mess of clothing, “Getting my pajamas.”

She furrowed her brow, “It would be easier to put your stuff in the bedroom.”

He faltered a little bit and pulled out a pair of pajama pants, “I just figured I’d stay out here.”

She raised her eyebrows at him and crossed her arms over her chest, a small smile on her lips, “Really?”

He seemed to flounder under that question then his hands dropped to his sides, “I didn’t want to assume.”

She tilted her head at him then walked over and zipped up his luggage for him and pulled it off the couch. She gestured with her head to follow her and he did. She deposited his bag by her closet, “I’m not gonna do that anymore.” She said evenly, turning to face him.

“Do what?” He asked, still holding his pajama pants in his hands.

“I’m not gonna push you away anymore. There’s no point. I love you. I always have. Always will,” She shrugged, “And the only thing I was doing was hurting us when I did.”

He shuffled his feet then swallowed, “I uhm…” He was clearly thrown off by the sudden confession. “I love you too, Meryl.”

She smiled at him, a big happy smile, then did a happy little dance shrug combo, “Good. Now I’m going to bed.”

He rolled his eyes and laughed. She was incredible. He watched her as she made her way to the bed and huddled under the covers, “You coming or will I find you in the bath tub because you wanted to be a gentleman?”

He laughed again, “Alright, alright. I get it. At least let me get my pajamas on,” his voice shifted to a mumble, “Already trying to get me in bed, ‘fore I can even get my jammies on, damn.”

Meryl laughed at slid further in to bed and laid on her side, pushing her hands beneath her chin and hummed. It was nice to be in bed. A little bit later as she drifted closer and closer to sleep she felt the bed dip beside her but she didn’t move. The welcome warmth of sleep was too close to get her to move even an inch. Before she drifted off to sleep though, she felt a strong arm wrap around her midsection and a glorious hard wall of warm ran down her back. She snuggled back subconsciously and smiled letting sleep wash over her.

xxxxxxx

“Have you two got any guesses?” Doctor Kyle asked with a smile on his face. Meryl glanced up at Maks who was holding tighter on to her hand than she was to his and smiled, “I don’t.”

He shook his head, and looked anxiously at the screen before the doctor even put the blue gel on the wand. Meryl whispered, “Breathe” to him and he took one short breath and held it again, making her laugh. He’d been nervous since they’d woken up this morning; so nervous, in fact, that she woken up to light hands fluttering over her stomach and a nervous Maks biting his lip behind her.

The doctor had given them an all clear so far and told them that it was going to schedule. Maks was relieved at that, always nervous about something: was she getting enough iron? How about calcium? “She woke to pee three times last night- is that normal?”

Maks squeezed her hand again, as the doctor pooled a mountain of blue goo onto a wand that looked eerily like a paintbrush with no bristles, “Alright, Ms. Davis this is going to be cold.”

Meryl nodded and he placed the wand on her stomach and a grainy image appeared on the television monitor beside them, “Looks good…” He said clucking his tongue.

He scanned the baby and took measurements and showed them the hands, the head, the little legs and then he turned to them, “So do mom and dad want to know what the baby is?”

They looked at each other at the same time and he nodded once at her, she looked up at the doctor with a smile and nodded, “I think so, yeah.”

The doctor turned back to the screen and hummed. Meryl glanced from the doctor to the screen to Maks. He was staring intensely at the screen, his bottom lip in between two teeth, pulling at the skin. She squeezed his hand and he quickly glanced down and gave her a small smile then turned back to the screen. She shook her head at the moment.

Tell her four months ago that she was going to be sitting here in the middle of Michigan with Maks by her side waiting to find out the sex of their baby she would have looked at you like you were crazy but now she was sure there was no other place she was supposed to be.

“Alrighty,” The smooth, happy voice of the doctor broke the tension in the air, “Mom and dad… looks like you’ll be having a…”

Meryl held her breath and closed her eyes.

 

 

“A little girl.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY SO THE POLL I TOOK WAS AN ABSURD AMOUNT OF GIRLS. To be honest, I was initially going to go with a boy but I gotta give the people what they want. So, girl it is! Next chapter is the wedding then 15.5 is going to be the smut chapter. I need y'all to assume they'd talked about the wedding and stuff as well as talked about visiting mama and papa c because that's coming FAST. lol. Anyways- Thank you so much for your continued support and all the likes, comments, reblogs, reviews, etc. It means so much!
> 
> Meryl's Pregnancy Info:  
> Baby Chmerkovskiy  
> 17 weeks  
> Size: Onion  
> Gender: Baby Girl  
> Cravings: Cotton Candy- but only the blue kind.  
> Worst Part of Pregnancy: Mood Swings  
> Best Part of Pregnancy: Feeling the kicks  
> Most Excited For: Telling Mama and Papa C.
> 
> Tummy Size:  
> [](http://s1383.photobucket.com/user/jessiborton/media/tummy%20size_zpsmtuv04c5.png.html)


	15. Plum Wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As her friends walk down the aisle to say I do Meryl and Maks walk towards a new beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So- you better love me. I realize I haven't posted in a while (which it hasn't been that long, but I suppose it is long for this story) so I made it extra long! :) haha. Also, another reason for not posting is I had to write 15.5 which is *drum-roll please* the smut chapter! Also posted today! So- fair warning next chapter is the smut chapter! Anyways. Thank you for all the support! I love you! Always- J.
> 
> As always please check the End A/N (Link, song, and pictures posted there!)

Meryl resisted the intense urge to roll her eyes at herself as she reapplied her lipstick for the third time that day. The nervous habit of biting her lip was taking a toll on her cosmetic supply. She capped the lipstick and stood back in the small bathroom, running her hand lightly over her hair and taking in her full image. The long, deep purple strapless dress had a tendency to fall down in due to the bigger size she had to get thanks to her ever growing stomach and she didn’t have the time to get it altered.

In truth, she’d forgotten about the bridesmaid dress until Charlie sent her a reminder text that the dress rehearsal was coming, and fast. Maks had watched her as she tried on her previously bought dress and laughed at her struggle to zip it. As payment she made him take her to the closest store to buy her a new one and he watched as she tried on dress from dress until she settled on one. Thankfully Tanith just went with a must-have color instead of color _and_ style.

Meryl sighed and tugged at the top of the dress, wiggling until it settled right. She walked back into the big open room where the women had been changing and getting ready. The church had placed them upstairs in the nursery to get ready while the men stayed downstairs; a layer of wood and carpet separating them until the ceremony.

Meryl glanced over at Tanith and smiled; her friend was absolutely glowing as a stylist stood behind her and added the finishing touches to her hair. Next to them, dangling on a curtain rod, Tanith’s dress hung, waiting patiently to be put on her slender frame.

It was beautiful. She’d been to one of the fittings with Tanith and it took her breath away when the drape had fallen back and her friend walked through, smiling nervously at her. Reveling at the memory, Meryl heard her phone chirping behind her then turned. She walked over to her purse where it laid open on a table in the corner of the room to see a new text message from Maks:

**_Maks:_ ** _Bride or Grooms side?_

_Just sit w/ my parents **: Meryl**_

**_Maks:_ ** _Can’t find them PS Did u take the brush?_

_Promise they are there :) Try Charlie’s side first. Did you not brush your hair?: **Meryl**_

**_Maks:_ ** _Found them. And I managed... Sorta._

Meryl giggled and cocked an eyebrow at the thought of him quickly running his fingers frustrated  through his hair instead of using a comb- which, if he would have looked hard enough, would have found in the medicine cabinet that hung above her bathroom sink.

_How many people are out there?: **Meryl**_

**_Maks:_ ** _Enough to start a few football teams ;)_

The corners of Meryl’s lips twitched up as she shoved her phone back into her purse and turned to see her friend standing and Charlie’s mother pulling the wedding dress off of the hanger. Meryl stayed back, her arms over her chest as she watched the scene take place in front of her: Tanith grinned at her own mother as Jacqui pooled the heaps of toile and lace at her new daughters’ feet. Tanith grabbed her mother’s shoulder for support and stepped in, the maid of honor pulling the dress up her body. It was just as beautiful as Meryl remembered.

Tanith waited for the dress to be zipped and then did a slow turn; a contented smile spread over her face as she admired the ‘swoosh’ around her feet. Meryl’s hand went automatically to her chest- the warmth spreading there like sun across a meadow in the morning after a cool spring night; earnest and welcome.

Meryl blinked quickly and averted her gaze from her friend and towards the door. She smiled once more over at the ladies and walked to the exit of the room then slid out into the hallway and down the narrow stairs to the main floor. Meryl walked through the historic church and down the passageway to where the men were supposed to be. She knocked lightly on the heavy wooden door then peaked her head in. She scanned the room, looking at the men one by one, each had cigars and smiles on their lips, “Has anyone seen Charlie?”

Charlie’s friend from College, his name was Max too, nodded his head towards the window, “He said he wanted to go outside. Catch his breath.”

Meryl thanked them and closed the door behind her and walked to the courtyard where they’d indicated he’d be. She found her partner sitting on a bench picking at a fallen leaf; the pieces he pulled fell to the ground half hazard as he stared straight ahead looking like he was not even on the same planet with her. She walked up slowly and glided her hand up his elbow to his shoulder and squeezed, “Hey you.”

His gaze came back and he glanced at her then looked back, straight ahead, “Hey Mer.”

“Ready?” She asked happily.

He nodded, his mouth formed a line. She smirked at him and his cold feet, “Maks said there are a lot of people in there.”

He side eyed her and laughed nervously, “That definitely helps my nerves.”

She shrugged playfully and dropped her hands to her sides. He dropped the leaf he’d been toying with and stood, rubbing his hands on his thighs and letting out a deep breath, “I knew this day was coming but it’s so funny it’s here now.”

She brushed off a piece of leaf on his jacket that had found its way there from his nervous twitching and sighed, “She looks beautiful Charlie.”

He smiled, pride in his eyes, “She _is_ beautiful… I’m so lucky.” The weight in his voice told her he’d been contemplating more than a walk down the aisle out here. She looked up at her friend, eyes squinting from the sun, “You definitely are. We both are.”

They stood and looked over the courtyard for a moment, in silence then he asked: “How are you and Maks?”

She smiled softly, “Good. Really good. Ever since we found out about her being a her he’s been over the moon. I think things have started to solidify for him.”

Charlie moved the bottom of his suit jacket back and shoved his hands in his pockets then leaned back on his heels, “I can’t wait for you to have this day, Meryl. It’s an indescribable feeling.”

Meryl didn’t look at Charlie as she took in a deep breath; the spring air was clean and fresh in her lungs, the smell of some flowers and dew mingled around them. She shook her head slightly, mostly to herself, “It seems so far away now.”

Charlie pursed his lips and shook his head, “No. I’ve seen the way Maks looks at you. It hasn’t changed one bit.”

The hint of butterflies wings began to flutter in her tummy, “You think?”

He nodded sagely, “I know.”

Meryl moved her lips to take them in between her teeth and quickly stopped herself. She scanned the quiet court yard once more and tugged at the top of her dress as it tried to slide down again, “I better get back in there. All that’s left is glass slippers.”

He let out a deep breath, “Then her prince better get to waiting at the end of the aisle, huh?”

Meryl pushed on her toes and slid a soft kiss on his cheek and beamed up at him, “Good luck.”

He smiled down at her and squeezed her bicep, “I don’t need luck- I’ve got Tanith.”

Meryl smiled and shook her head as she turned and headed back inside the church. The closer she got back to the girls the more it felt like a dream. The hallways were cool and filled with the buzz of joy and laughter and happy tears and it made her feel whole. When she pushed back into the room everyone was standing around Tanith, now fully ready and she dropped the dress around her feet. Meryl caught her friend’s eyes and Tanith smiled watery up at her and shrugged, “Looks like I’m ready.”

xxxxxxxxxx

Meryl took a deep breath and looked back once more at her friend in white; she smiled softly at her as she took her first step down the long aisle that was lined with loved ones smiling back at her. She looked down at the end of the aisle and met Charlie’s eyes. Her smile only grew wider as she made her way down the aisle in anticipation to stand beside the couple that she’d loved to support their marriage. One more bridesmaid came after her and then the whole room stood.

Normally she would join those in looking at the bride but Meryl’s eyes went to Charlie instead. She smiled as she saw the wind get knocked out of him; his hand falling over his lungs and his lips formed a small “o.” Meryl felt the prick of tears in her eyes and blinked them away quickly. She glanced at Tanith coming down the aisle then her eyes pulled to something else.

Maks was watching Tanith; his hands holding the pew in front of him loosely as a ghost of a smile tingled on his lips. For a moment she imagined it was them in their friend’s places: The look on his face; what smile would be on his lips? Would there be water in his eyes? Would he hold her eyes as she walked to him? Would he hug her father or shake his hand as he handed his only daughter over him to hold and cherish and protect for the rest of their lives? She could only hope and pray that one day she’d find out.

“You may be seated.”

The pastor’s voice soothed the people back into their seats and that’s when Maks’ eyes found hers. The smile that had fixed on her features came with no effort and he smiled in return, as an answer. She looked down shyly and when she met his gaze again he winked making her feel butterflies again. She had to make herself turn to watch the ceremony but she was fully aware that at least one audience member watched her.

“….Charles? Do you take this woman to love?” Meryl smiled and chanced a look over at Maks. “To cherish? To hold?” His eyes matched hers, but there was an unexpected weight in his stare. She felt his gaze sear into her skin; the sudden instinctive tug of protection settled on her soul, “For all the days, for the rest of your life?”

Charlie’s strong voice echoed through the vaulted ceiling, “Absolutely.”

Meryl couldn’t force her eyes to turn back to the two people at her side, but instead only focused on him and what was happening between them. He narrowed his eyes in thought at her then moved down to her stomach, the corner of his lips twitching upwards. She felt a surge of pride and excitement well within her at the thought of him thinking of their small family in a moment like this, his smile sending shivers up and down her spine. Maybe it was her imagination or hopeful thinking but she thought she’d felt a crack of electricity between them- small and heady, but it was there. His eyes turned warmer and her fingers itched to run her hands through his rumpled hair but instead she twisted her hands harder on the flower stems that were resting in her hands. Maks smiled, as if he knew what was running through her mind at that moment and mouthed, “I miss you.”

She looked down again, trying to hide the embarrassingly huge smile and flushed cheeks that had bloomed on her face from the sea of people in front of her then looked up through her lashes at him. Something had changed in that moment.

The ceremony was at the tail end and soon the pastors comforting voice announced Mr. and Mrs. Charles White and the crowd clapped and howled. Charlie raised him and his wife’s joined hands in the air and she’d thought to herself that he’d never looked more proud than in that moment.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

“Have I ever told you how much I love you in purple?”

His silky voice brushed over the back of her neck and she turned to face him. Her hands went to the lapels of his jacket, her slender fingers curling around the fabric and rested easily as she looked up at him. She smiled teasingly at him and tilted her head from side to side, “Hmm… Maybe once or twice.”

He took a step towards her and pressed his hands against her hips pushing her gently, backing her against the wall. She leaned back, her head resting on the wall a smile still firmly planted, “What are you doing?”

“Who, me?” He asked leaning down to press his face in the crook of her neck, pressing chaste kisses on her pulse point. She felt him smile against her tender skin there, “Showing you I missed you.”

She leaned her head against his, still resting against her neck, “We need to get back to the reception.”

“Mmm.” He pulled back, “There are so many people there that they won’t miss us.”

Meryl pulled one hand from his chest and pulled at the fabric of her dress, both making her point and utilizing it as a way to keep the dress from falling down, “Bridesmaid, remember?”

He let out a low sound similar to a growl and pulled away taking her hand in his. He pulled her down the hallway towards the large ballroom, the sounds of the latest Maroon 5 song pounded against the walls as they got closer.

Meryl couldn’t tell you the exact moment they’d fallen back into the constant touching but she was glad they had. The warmth of his touch against her skin made her nerves sing. After finding out that the baby was a girl they’d went home and sat in the living room just talking then somehow moved to touching. They had explored each other again- getting to know every individual curve of the other again- reinventing their maps of their bodies and marking the spots that made the other smile, or shiver of made their breath hitch with warm, wet kisses. The morning after things just fell back into place. She’d woken up and he’d been standing in the doorway of her bathroom with his toothbrush watching her sleep and then, just as easily as breathing, he walked over to her and kissed her with absolutely no more hesitation. Whatever had been there had been thrown to the wayside with their clothing the night before.

She squeezed his hand before they walked back into the ballroom and scanned the scene. It was gorgeous and large- twinkle lights roamed above them, casting a soft hew of yellow against the inky blackness. Tanith had turned the room into something of an enchanted forest. Trees dotted through the room with lights in the branches, wood and earthy tones were specked thought out the room with deep plum flowers, and each table had a centerpiece different from the other. The candles and string lights lit the room enough that there wasn’t a need for anything else. Meryl caught a glimpse of Charlie and Tanith at their sweetheart table, hands interlocked as they nodded to the wedding planner.

Meryl looked up at Maks, “This is gorgeous. Tanith put so much time into this.”

Maks nodded, “It’s amazing, really.” His hand slipped from hers only to find the small of her back and rub its way to her side pulling her tight against him and leaned down to whisper in her ear, “You would do an even better job, though.”

She put her hand on his stomach and leaned into him letting the tingles run from her toes to her heart. He didn’t know what that did to her when he talked like that and she wasn’t sure if she wanted to stop him or beg him to continue so instead she stayed quiet. The two of them walked around the room greeting people and receiving hushed congratulations from some. Soon they’d made their way fully around the room and Maks sat her at their table, “I’ll go get you food.”

She thanked him and turned to rest her back against the chair and sighed, her hand drifting to her stomach subconsciously. She scanned the room again then stopped as she saw a figure moving towards her. She furrowed her brow and straightened then looked around the room in hopes that they were going anywhere but to her.

“I guess it’s true. Seems like congratulations are in order.” Meryl turned to meet the brown eyes of Fedor looking down at her. She shifted uncomfortably and cleared her throat.

“Thanks.”

He glanced around the room, a cocky grin on his face, “Is it ballroom guys?”

Meryl felt the ice of his words and turned away from him scoffing, “Yeah. She is.”

“She,” His eyebrows went up and he pursed his lips in disinterest, “Hm.”

“What?” She asked harshly. She knew she was overreacting but she didn’t care. She’d had enough of his mind games to last her a lifetime. He shrugged, “Just interesting.”

“What’s interesting is you being here. I know you weren’t invited.”

“Oh wow,” He said laughing, “When did you grow claws?”

She glared at him and crossed her arms over her chest, “You should go.”

“I just wanted to tell you congrats,” He said, his tone seeping with falsities as he raised his hands in mock defense.

“You’ve said them,” Maks’ voice was stiff, “You can go.”

She watched as Fedor turned around to see Maks standing behind him, his hands full with two plates and eyes narrowed. Fedor stepped away, but kept his hands up like before, “I was just leaving.” His tone still very much phony.

Maks watched him go longer than necessary then placed a plate in front of her. She didn’t say anything and neither did he, but the tension hung in the air. It wasn’t between them but from the remnants of a bad dream past that had just flickered in and out of their lives again. Maks knew about what she’d gone through for years with him and from the moment she’d told him about Fedor he’d had distaste for him.

“He’s like a bad rash,” Maks finally murmured, stuffing a piece of food in his mouth. He probably didn’t mean to, just thinking out loud, but it made her feel slightly better. Meryl sat her fork down she’d been cradling and slid her hand under the table and squeezed his knee. He glanced over at her and turned his scowl into a fake smile then went right back to his food. She didn’t move her hand, just let it rest against his leg for a while- the warmth of his leg under her palm kept her grounded.

They finished their food in comfortable silence, “I’m going to go grab a drink. You want to come with me?”

She nodded then stood and he reached his hand out and before she’d even processed it, her hand had found his and she slid her fingers to lock in between his. They walked to the bar and he’d ordered a drink. “Looks like some people found the bar before us.”

Maks nodded his head towards the dance floor and she followed his gaze to see a large crowd of late 20 to early 30 year olds laughing and flailing around the dance floor. Meryl felt herself smiling as she saw her friends twirling around; clearly some had drunk a little more liquid courage than others. She felt a giggle bubble up through her throat and she shook her head at Charlie twirling Tanith like a ballerina, swaying a little. “Cleary all his practice from the show doesn’t hold under beer.”

Maks laughed at that and took a sip of his own, “Maybe we should test yours out.”

She glanced over at him, “Are you serious?”

He nodded, “Absolutely. Why not?”

She shrugged and let out a breathy laugh, “I just. I guess I haven’t really danced since the show.”

“Then, it’s about time you did.” He sat his drink at the edge of the bar and took her hand. They weaved around the crowd and when they got to the dance floor she stopped. He looked back, brow furrowed but then smiled as she kicked off her shoes.

“I already have my belly working against me,” She said sheepishly.

They walked to the middle of the dance floor, height difference even more pronounced than before. [A happy- upbeat song ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdGyjeZ2kBM)started and the crowd cheered around them:

_The lights are shining like the sun out tonight_

_Just keep your body moving how I like_

_Oh yeah the music feels like paradise_

_Can't get any better, no_

Meryl looked around, a smile plastered on her face at the sea of dancing people cheering. She looked up at Maks whose face matched her own and took his hand. Meryl laughed as he raised his arm and she twirled below him. Then they just let go:

_I wanna stay right in this moment for life_

_Baby treat me wrong, treat me right_

He dropped his hand from hers and they found her hips. She swayed back and forth, wrapping her arms around his neck and watching the others around her crash into each other. They didn’t have any choreographed dance, but it was just as good. Maks grinned down at her as she rocked back and forth making faces at her friends.

And as the chorus raised so did hands and voices:

_Ay ay ay, aye_

_Just can't stop dancing_

_Ay ay ay, aye_

_Don't wanna jinx it_

_So don't let go of me_

_Don't let go of me_

_Ay ay ay, aye_

_I just can't stop dancing_

Meryl let go of his neck and got dragged by one of her old friends from high school to the middle of the dance floor. She smiled over at him and then took her friends hands and joined them in dancing crazily around the floor. His eyes were glued to her. He shook his head playfully as she raised her finger and crooked it to come to her:

_Again now_

_Spin around now_

_Down now, to the floor now_

_******_

_Your mind's just going places I can't see you_

_That's for the lets me know this is real_

_And I won't stop you no I like it there_

_You can even go further babe_

_Cause nothing's forbidden_

_Don't scare, no worries_

_Once I'm there, all is forgiven_

_So be prepared_

_To come and push up on my..._

Finally he broke and went to the middle of the dance floor with her but instead of grabbing her he joined in. He danced with a few of innocent standbys; their faces shocked making her laugh. She raised her hands above her head like everyone else around her as the chorus echoed again:

_Ay ay ay, aye_

_Just can't stop dancing_

_Ay ay ay, aye_

_Don't wanna jinx it_

_So don't let go of me_

_Don't let go of me_

_Ay ay ay, aye_

_I just can't stop dancing_

She threw her head back and laughed and then his hands were on her again and her skin prickled. She flushed as he pressed his chest to her back and moved his hips behind her. Meryl’s hands covered his on her sides:

_Again now_

_Spin around now_

_Down now, to the floor now_

_*****_

_Believe it, I feel it_

_It's in the air_

_Although you can't see you know it's there_

_My heart keeps on racing, in overdrive_

_Once the music hits my body I feel so alive_

_And it's alright_

_It's got me like…_

A flutter in her stomach made her stop. He stopped behind her and she turned. He looked at her in confusions and began to ask, “What?”

Meryl had a huge smile plastered on her face as she brought his hands on his stomach and pressed down hard. The smile that had risen on his face was indescribable.

Their baby danced to the music around them and Maks, for the first time, had truly been able to feel the baby- their baby- _his_ baby. He stared down incredulously at her stomach as the baby inside kicked and moved.

“Oh,” He whispered.

And just like that the chorus rose around them- while everyone around them raised and jumped to the music the two of them stood completely still:

_Ay ay ay, aye_

_Just can't stop dancing_

_Ay ay ay, aye_

_Don't wanna jinx it_

_So don't let go of me_

_Don't let go of me_

_Ay ay ay, aye_

_I just can't stop dancing_

_Ay ay ay, aye_

_Just can't stop dancing_

_Ay ay ay, aye_

_I Don't wanna jinx it_

_So don't let go of me_

_Don't let go of me_

_Ay ay ay, aye_

_I just can't stop dancing_

As the music faded around them she took one of her hands and cupped the side of his face and leaned in pressing a soft kiss to his lips. At first he hadn’t responded; shock still vibrated from his frame and then he raised his hands from her stomach to the sides of her face holding her to him. He breathed her in as his lips slid over hers. When they finally pulled back it was to catch their breath.

He leaned his forehead against hers and in the middle of the crowded dancefloor he closed his eyes, “I love you.”

She scratched his stubblely cheek and smiled, “I love you.”

He pulled back and looked down at her, her flushed cheeks and happy smile and then jerked his head towards the front of the building, “Let’s go home.”

She bit her lip and glanced around the room, “I have to say goodbye to Charlie and Tanith.”

He nodded, “I’ll get the stuff and meet you at the front.”

Meryl turned and went on a search for her friends but the hot feeling of his hands didn’t leave her. She could feel the pressure of his palms against her neck and she hoped that the feeling would never fade. She found her friends on the dance floor and cupped Tanith’s elbow, “Hey I think I’m gonna head out.”

Tanith turned; a tad of surprise on her face and when she saw who it was she smiled, “Meryl! Oh, okay, are you feeling alright? It’s early.” Charlie slid behind her, his arms wrapped around her midsection, “Hey.”

She smiled at him and turned her attention back to Tanith, “Yeah I’m just tired. Long day.”

Tanith smiled understandingly at her, “Okay. Well thank you. For everything.”

Meryl waved her off, “No way. You guys are amazing. Thank you for including me. And for inviting Maks- that was really nice of you. I hope you guys have an amazing trip. Take pictures.”

Tanith nodded then moved to hug her friend. Instead of letting go, Charlie just adjusted so he was hugging both of the girls at once. She laughed and pulled away then walked back towards the front of the building where she knew he’d be waiting for her.

When she made it to the front he held out her coat for her and she slid into it. He rubbed his hands on the tops of her arms and looked down at her with and expression she couldn’t read. She cocked and eyebrow, “What?”

“I just…” He stopped. He tried to figure out the right words to say to her and pursed his lips. She waited until he finally settled, “I just want to thank you.”

She shook her head and looked at him in question, “For what?”

He licked his lips and shrugged, “Everything. Just… I don’t know. Since the beginning of this year my life has been a fucking roller coaster and…” He shrugged again, “I lost you, got you back, lost you again, and now we are here and I’m never going to do that again. When I saw you up there standing at the alter and then I felt her move,” He let out a low breath and shook his head, “I have no words.”

She moved to press her body against his. She rested her forehead against his sternum and listened, “I just want you to know that I’m not letting you go again. Not without a fight.”

She pressed a light kiss to his chest then looked up, “You and me, that’s it, remember?”

He smiled down at her, “You just have to keep on reminding me.”

She pulled away from him then sighed. She hadn’t known what had changed earlier that day but whatever it was she was thankful for it. She watched as he put his own coat on and then began to walk out the door. He reached his hand back and without even needing to look down she threaded her hand into his and followed him out into the cool May night.

She squeezed his hand in hers and decided that she’d remind him. Every day she’d remind him that it will always be her and him by her words and her touches and her looks. She’d never let him forget it ever again because that’s it. They are it. That’s the end result.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! How cute, right?! :) haha. I really love that song and I didn't want to make it a 'love song' song. :) I will post the link below for the song, a picture of Meryl's dress, Tanith's dress as well as pregnancy info! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and I hope that you will enjoy the smut! :)
> 
> "Can't Stop Dancing" by Becky G  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdGyjeZ2kBM
> 
> Meryl's Dress (In Amethyst)  
> http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/jenny-yoo-annabelle-convertible-tulle-column-dress-regular-plus-size/3633629?origin=category
> 
> Tanith'sDress (More of a White)  
> http://www.verawang.com/EN/wedding/bridal-collection/iconic/1911-georgina-13
> 
> Meryl's Pregnancy Info:  
> Baby Chmerkovskiy  
> 18 weeks  
> Size: Bell Pepper  
> Gender: Baby Girl  
> Cravings: Sweet Corn  
> Worst Part of Pregnancy: High Libido  
> Best Part of Pregnancy: High Libido  
> Most Excited For: Telling Mama and Papa C.
> 
> Tummy Size:  
> [](http://s1383.photobucket.com/user/jessiborton/media/eighteen%20weeks_zpszu76kfyx.png.html)


	16. 15.5 Want

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut. Smut. Smut. Smut. Smut. Smut. Smut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is for all my lovely little sinners ;). For those who do not like smut- please turn back now. There is no progression in the plot here- its just smut and lovey dovey goo. I promise you will not miss a single thing if you do not read this chapter! :) Thanks! Love you! Always- J.

Its times like on the dance floor that made him remember how easily it was for him to get lost in her. How the feel of her body pressed against his felt so right as solid but soft and warm against the length of his own made him forget his own center.

But then again she was his center. She always had been that pinnacle of light that had never been snuffed from the darkness no matter how many window and doors he’d closed.

And then it was times like these as she led him up the stairs to her bedroom that reminded him of how he used to resent love back before he’d met her. How in his past he would scoff at his friends in bars as they’d fumble over some chick that made them ‘feel something’ after Maks himself had been stung too many times before. He was sure that after being stung so many times he’d become numb to ‘love’ but now, as her hips swayed, taking each step, he was sure that he’d never felt love before her love that made him feel both deserving even when the nagging in the back of his mind reminded him; _sting, sting, sting._

When she’d gotten to the landing she turned back to him and smiled coyly, her dress that was too big for her small frame slid down for the thousandth time that night but this time she didn’t bother to pull it up. She walked to her bedroom and turned the door handle, pushing it open and slid into the room.

He followed behind and walked behind her as she stopped to kick off her shoes. Maks wrapped his hands around her hips and leaned down to press his face in the crook of her neck and breathed in her skin. She smelled clean and warm and a hint of spices.

She smiled and kicked off the other shoe, “You remember what the doctor said back in California?”

He hummed against her, “No.”

She turned in his arms and reached for the lapels of his jacket, her small hands dove under the front and pushed up to his shoulders, working on taking it off, “She said that libido revs up this trimester,” Maks leaned back letting the jacket fall in a puddle at his feet, “So if you keep doing that, you may be in for it.”

Instantly he leaned down and took a soft patch of her neck between his lips and then bit ever so gently, the feeling of her pulse below his mouth made him keen. She leaned her head back, giving him better access and his hands began to roam. At first they tightened on her hips, fingers flexing, his head beginning for him to pick her up and carry her into her bed and bury himself deep within her. She sighed and her warm, wet breath hit the shell of his ear making him shiver.

Her hands threaded into his hair at the base of his neck as he continued his ministrations on her neck then moved down to her shoulder, nipping at her collar bone. “Good,” he finally replied. Goosebumps raised on her velvet skin on the patch where he’d just been working- his hot breath colliding with the coolness of his saliva he’d left on her press even closer.

The length of her dress was debilitating as his ran his hands down her sides and around her back, his hands running on the curve of her ass and kneaded her flesh, pulling her flush against him, making her feel what she was doing to him without even trying. And like a sinner she ground against him, a growl caught in the back of his throat.

“Fuck,” He whispered against her skin. He could feel her wicked grin and then she pulled at the back of his head, forcing him to face look down at her. She bit her bottom lip, like she had been a lot lately, and whispered, “Kiss me.”

Whatever she wanted, he would give to her. He leaned down and kissed her deeply, fully, putting all of his energy into this one thing because that’s what she wanted. Because if she wanted it he was going to give it to her because like his father had told her, “Don’t half ass anything,” and he didn’t. He wouldn’t.

He moved his hands from her ass to wrap around her to hold her against him. Her sweet mouth pressed to his made him want to sing and then her tongue teased at the bottom of his lip. His mouth opened for her and their tongues mingled together, tasting each other; making the other’s flavor last on their lips.

His fingers fumbled to the dress’ zipper and quickly pulled it down, the too-big dress immediately falling to the floor. He pulls away to look at her; her white creamy skin flushed, her mouth swollen from kisses and her eyes hooded. Her stomach poked with his child and a swirl of pride and protection rose in his stomach. She had on a black strapless bra that was now too small for her chest and black lace panties that his fingers itched to trail the edges of.

She let his gaze trail over her for only a moment before her fingers went to work on his shirt buttons, plucking smoothly and quickly, contrasted to her shaking hands. He touched her arms as she worked and stared down at her- glowing against the moonlight that the open window provided for them. When her cool hands touched his naked stomach he sucked in a breath. She slid that off of his shoulders and then rose on her toes to take his mouth against hers again.

When they collided against each other he groaned. He loved feeling his skin against hers; their warmth mingling and getting confused at where his skin stopped and where hers began. And when she pulls back he’s sure she was going to say something- sure she was going to rock his world with not only her body but with her words; her pupils dilated and her lips red, but instead she just smiles and tugs at his hand and leads him to the bed.

She falls on the bed then, and surely she expected him to follow but instead he stands, looking down at her and taking her in again. She was his as by the look on her face and the swell of her belly and the heat in her stare. Meryl sits up and smiles, “Coming?”

He feels the fire ignited in his eyes at the word and cocks the side of his mouth up, “You will.”

Her eyes widened and then he reached around her legs and pulled her to the edge of the bed. She gasped and giggled below him and he smiled as the vibrations from her laughter ran through his body. He reached around and plucked at the clasp of her bra, smoothly. She flung the bra to the side and then his mouth was on her hardening bud. She arched at the contact her mouth falling open and a hand threaded through his hair, “Oh, god.” She whispered.

His other hand cupped and traced her other breast as he continued his assault on her, her breath coming in short pants. He nipped his way from breast to breast then he moved lower, pressing hot, open mouth kisses down her body. She wiggled beneath him, her nails pressing half-moons on his shoulders. He wanted her on his tongue.

Maks knelt on the ground in front of her as if to worship her. She looked down, eyes half lidded as he spread her legs apart for him; her womanhood wet and swollen for him underneath the black cotton of her panties. He pressed his lips to the inside of her thighs and breathed her in. Loving the warmth and musky smell that was all for him.

Her fingers clutched at the bed sheets in anticipation as he moved to line kisses from the back of her knee to her center. He loved her legs. And then his eyes met hers; her eyes full of trust and lust and keenness and it made his heart clench in his chest. She bit her lip at him and nodded and that’s all he needed. He grabbed at the waistband of her panties and pulled then down her never ending legs and tossed them aside.

He only takes a moment to fully enjoy her nakedness before he wrapped her legs around his shoulders and his mouth was on her; his lips, his tongue, and she lets out a whimper and craned against him. He draws her into her mouth and tastes her. Everything that is simply her; her sweet tangy mixture that is so just her it makes his head fuzzy. Her hands slide from the bed sheets to his as they grip her legs. He unlocks his clutch to hold her hands in his own and she squeezes as she arches against his tongue, her short panting breath broke with soft moans and whimpers that sent shots straight to his groin.

He tries his best to be slow but then he’s lapping her up, teasing and tasting and then she’s breathing out his name, almost pleading and he was going to give her what she wanted because that’s what he did. He gave her anything she wanted.

And then her thighs started to shake around him and her fingers left his and found his hair pulling and pushing at him, begging and demanding and he just continues to lick and taste her. “Please, oh god, Maks…” He smiled against her as he ran a tongue over her wetness and took her clit into his mouth sucks and then she there and she bucks below him. Her breath comes out in the form of her name as she surges below his mouth, tiny words of love trailing close behind her thighs shaking and her body shuddering and it’s like a perfect storm when she comes as she says his name again and again she her hands squeeze and let those in his hair and she whimpers as she comes down and it makes him feel powerful as sin.

And he kisses her thighs and lets her ride out her wave and then she’s looking at him over the stretch of her stomach and swollen breasts and her eyes are grey and open and in that moment he’s completely fine with laying down and going to sleep despite the pull in his pants because she got what she wanted and then she whispers, “I need you.”

And if he gives her what she wants then there is no way in hell he wasn’t going to give her what she need and then he trails a line back up her body with his tongue and his lips and his mouth and when he reaches her mouth his lips press against her and she groans at the taste of her on his lips. Her teeth press down on his bottom lip and tug making him smile wickedly.

And then he stands up straight and she’s on his belt buckle, nimble hands pulling at the metal and then the button and the zipper. Meryl stood up then and pushed his pants down and he was stepping out of his shoes and then, like a sudden storm, her hands were on the expanse of his chest and she was pushing _him_ to lay on the bed, but this time not alone.

Her perfect little body hovered over him like the moon in the sky and it made sense because she was the moon and the little one inside of her was his stars and it just made _sense_. And then she was straddling his hips, hovering over him; her eyes filled with need and want mixed together. Maks large, strong hands found their way to her hips and help her guide her on to him and she’s so smooth. The movement of them joining together was like fluid and it made his head fall back and his eyes close as a groan ripped from the back of his throat because she just felt so damn _good_.

And she always did. She was always good and velvet and silk and all things that made sense and whenever she got what she wanted he did too.

Her hands laid splayed on his chest as she slid down the length of him, her perfect mouth formed in a small ‘o’ as her eyes fluttered between open and half lidded at the feeling of them. And when their hips meet together she flexed and he had to bite the inside of his cheek to remind himself he needed to last because she _needed_ it and he wanted to make her tip again.

Bu then her hands are all over him and they leave a burning trail in their wake and all he can see is her, and her beautiful dark hair falling in waves down her back and the way she arched against him and then, by some miracle she’s shuttering again, and his name is leaving her lips in pants again and then her when she pleads against him in a voice he only hears when she’s here, like this, she said, “Oh god, Maks. Maks.”

And then she writhing above him, her hands curled on his chest and he rose to meet her, to hold her as she gave way, her arms wrapped loosely around his body as she rose and rose and fell and somehow he was still pumping and one, two, and he followed after her, losing himself within her and then her mouth is on his, taking his moans and her name and the curses and the confessions from his lips into her own.

After when he breaks away from her lips its only to breath. He placed his head against her chest and she wrapped her arms around his neck, her hands carded through his hair as if to soothe him but he knew it was just as much for her as it was for him because he could feel the beat of her heart against his temple.

And they sat there for a bit, her legs slick against his hips and her muscles still clenching against him inside of her and the slide of their skin against skin, not moving. Just being. Because that’s what they both need.

They soon, he lifts his head from her chest and kisses her briefly before pulling her against his chest and laying them down on their sides, her boneless body against him like his own skin. Soon after her breathing evened and deep and he knew that she was asleep; soft and warm tucked against him. And he was centered again then. He was alive and treading the line of consciousness but he was centered and there was nothing else he needed because she got what she wanted.

His own eyes felt heavy and soon he let them slide shut, allowing the deep warm embrace of sleep take him under as well, the last thing on his mind was her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright! I hope y'all enjoyed this! Please let me know on iceandwood.tumblr.com OR CaptainPassion.tumblr.com
> 
> As always thank you for any comments, reblogs, reviews, favs, subscriptions, etc. on this story! Next chapter is meeting mama and papa c- and as you can imagine, with her showing, things will be interesting! :)  
> <3


	17. God's Gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now they know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! ha! Okay so I haven't written in so long and I'm super sorry! I have a lot on my plate with school/work/living my life but I didn't forget about you! This starts off as important but then just turns into a big mushy fluff ball. Also- there isn't going to be a lot of chapters left. I just wanted y'all to be aware. Anyways- I hope you enjoy! Love you! Always- J.
> 
> Ps. Don't forget the end A/N.

Meryl tugged at the hem of her dress as she stared out the window watching the river course and surge below her as they passed above it on the long bridge to the suburbs. She used the steady sound of his breathing next to her as a lighthouse: calming and assuring against the frenzy inside of her chest.

He didn’t say “It’ll be alright,” or any other comforting words. He didn’t give her a reassuring glance or a soothing squeeze against her palm. No. He looked just as nervous as her as he white knuckled the steering wheel, his steady gaze not flickering from the road in front of him. They were on their way to the Chmerkovskiy family home to drop a huge bomb into his parent’s laps. Her guilt was already mounted because she hadn’t told them earlier and with every passing mile the burden seemed to only get heavier.

Meryl swallowed and closed her eyes, letting her head loll back against the headrest. The sun was warm against her arms as it streamed through the window.

“Almost there.”

Meryl opened her eyes and looked over at him. Maks still had his eyes straight ahead, his jaw clenched, but she gave him the best reassuring smile she could anyways, “Okay.”

He nodded once and shifted making the leather creak below him. She studied him for a moment, just taking him in and then turned back to the window. She was tired and hungry, they had gotten to New York an hour ago- only stopping at Maks’ apartment to drop their bags into the trunk of his car and head to the matriarchy’s house.

She did her best to be a guide for him but they both knew that what they were going to do would change things for them; after today everyone they loved would know and they would have to start making decisions. Meryl knew they would have a lot of questions that the two of them didn’t have answers for yet; questions about the baby and questions about them- what they were, where they were going, questions that she wanted to know the answer to even more than them.

The rest of the car ride there was faster than she’d hoped and when they pulled into the long driveway to his parent’s home she had to bite her lip from asking him to turn back. Maks parked the car in the gravel, below a shade tree and turned the car off. He didn’t get out right away and for the first time since they’d gotten in the car he looked over at her. He looked worried and tired. He didn’t say anything, just gave her a small hallow smile and then nodded.

She nodded back and he got out and walked to her side, opening the door for her. The wind whipped the skirt of her dress around her tight-covered legs as she lifted a hand to cover her eyes from the sun. The house was just as she remembered it- large and well cared for. The house was fenced by tall trees and the stone that the building was made of made it seem like they had stepped into a European dream inside of New York.  He moved to stand beside her, the top of his arm brushing her shoulder as he crossed his arms over his chest. He let out a deep breath, “Ready?”

She dropped her hand from her brow and licked her lips. Meryl squared her shoulders, “Yeah.”

He dropped his gaze from the house to the gravel below his feet and shook his head, “At least one of us is.” He mumbled as he started walking towards the house.

She watched him go for a second then glanced at the house again. Her heart was beating wildly in her chest but she took a step towards the house anyways. She followed him up the steps to the porch and waited at his opened the screen door and knocked. Meryl glanced over her shoulder and down the driveway; the longing to go back down it was strong.

“Maksim!” Meryl snapped her head back and over his shoulder. Clarisa corralled Maks into her, pinning him against her chest- a huge smile plastered on her face.

“Hey mama,” He squeezed her back, his voice deceptively normal. She pulled him back to her arm’s length and studied him, “Where have you been?”

“You know how it goes, mom.” He glanced over his shoulder, “I was in Michigan last week-“

“Meryl?”

 Before she could move to cover herself Clarissa had found her way around Maks and faced her. Clarissa’s smile beamed at her then her eyes raked down the length of her and landed on her stomach. The moment she had comprehended what was happening Clarissa’s face fell into a blank stare. Meryl felt her jaw slacken as if to say something but the only sound that came from her lips was an intake of breath. She waited for Clarissa to move. To say something. Anything. She waited for felt like hours and then the blonde woman in front of her moved her eyes from Meryl’s stomach to her face then over to her son’s. Her expression was still blank.

“Inside,” She said calmly, turning to push past Maks and walk into the house.

Maks turned at faced Meryl then grabbed her hand and took in a deep breath. He walked quietly into the house and closed the door behind them. Maks looked down at her once more and quickly leaned to touch his lips to her forehead. He stayed there for a second and breathed her in. Meryl closed her eyes and the moment he straightened she immediately resented the loss of contact. “You and me.”

She nodded and squeezed his hand in hers. The two of them walked to the living room where his parents were waiting. Clarissa was sitting on the arm of the chair that Sasha was sitting in. His eyebrows were tugged towards the center of his face and then he caught a glimpse of her. Sasha glanced up at his wife then back to them, “Take a seat.”

Maks led the two of them to sit down on the overstuffed loveseat that faced his parents. Not letting go of each other’s hand, Maks and Meryl sat down and looked at them, trying to gauge their reactions; Sasha looked confused and Clarissa still wasn’t giving anything away. Maks cleared his throat, “Mom. Dad. I know this is sudden but… we’re happy. I’m happy,” He looked over at Meryl and she nodded, “And we know you have a lot of questions and we want to answer those.”

Clarissa moved to wrap her arm around Sasha’s shoulder; she leaned into him a little for support, “How far along are you?”

The question was directed at Meryl and she met Clarissa’s eyes. The mother looked shocked. “I’m 19 weeks. So, uhm, about 4 and a half months.”

“When did you find out?”

Meryl felt Maks squeeze her hand, “I found out at 11 weeks.”

Sasha nodded and put his hand on Clarissa’s leg. They seemed to be seeping in the information for a moment, leaving only the sound of the ticking clock on the mantle to fill the void.

“Do you know the gender?” Sasha asked.

“A girl.” Maks said proudly.

“A girl?” The people in the room turned their attention back to Clarissa, whose voice seemed breathily and watery in her last words. She had her head tilted and her hand circled around Sasha’s arm, “A little girl?”

Meryl nodded, a small smile pressed firmly on her lips. She could feel the tears start to burn in the back of her eyes but quickly blinked them away. Clarissa actually smiled then, still watery, but a hint of happiness there. She squeezed her husband’s arm, “I always wanted a little girl.”

There was another stretch of silence and then Clarissa stood. She straightened her blouse and took in a deep breath and let it out, a smile falling back into place. She walked towards Meryl and opened her arms, “I always wanted a little girl.”

Meryl stood quickly and wrapped her arms around the older woman. She felt the pang of tears again and let out a shaky laugh. Clarissa held on tight and then pulled her away like she had done to her son earlier and looked down at Meryl’s bump, “May I?”

Meryl nodded quickly and grabbed Clarissa’s hands and placed them where the baby was laying, “She’s right here.”

Clarissa rubbed small circles on her belly, her eyes wide. Sasha stood and walked over to his wife and laid a hand on her shoulder. He smiled down at her as she felt their grandchild for the first time. Meryl looked back at Maks who had leaned back into the sofa. His face looked like a mixture of relieved, shocked, and happy all at once. Meryl smiled and winked at him then turned back to the grandparents of her little girl, “She’s a dancer, I think. Never stops moving.”

xxxxxxxxxxxx

“Have you thought of any names then?” Sasha asked as he plucked another piece of salad in his mouth. The four of them settled back after the tension had subsided and had spent the rest of the day together. Meryl and Clarissa went up to the attic where Clarissa had stored Maks’ baby book and Sasha and Maks went to the driveway to play basketball. She saw them sitting on the grass later on, talking. Sasha had his hand on Maks shoulder and Maks was smiling from ear to ear.

Meryl had accepted Clarissa’s invitation to dinner. It had been an extremely relaxing evening. Clarissa talked about her pregnancies while they cooked dinner and when the four of them had sat down to eat, the conversation steered towards the questions.

Meryl pursed her lips, “Sort of. Nothing set in stone, really.”

“Do you like old names? How about something Ukranian?” Clarissa said, “I loved the name Tania. If I had a girl.” Clarissa pointed her fork at Meryl and winked.

“I always liked the named Sasha.” Sasha smiled.

Meryl laughed and then Clarissa tsked, “They are not naming _my_ granddaughter after a mushing dog.”

“It’s not a dog!” Sasha exclaimed.

“Tell that to my papa and his husky.”

Meryl watched the two banter between themselves and glanced at Maks who was smiling. He shook his head at them and laughed at another quip Clarissa threw at her husband. “What about you Maks?”

He looked at her, “Hm?”

“Have you got any names?”

He looked down at his plate and shrugged, “I don’t know. I have one, but I dunno.”

She smiled at shook her head shrugging, “No, don’t ‘I dunno.’ What is it?”

He glanced up at her and then back down to his food, “I like the name Danya. Mean’s god’s gift.” The three of them looked at him and he looked back up and shrugged, “I just… I think it fits.”

Clarissa clasped her hands together and looked at him, “Oh. Maksim. I love that.”

Meryl’s heart burned. She looked over at the man who she loved and restrained from taking him into her arms. He looked almost embarrassed as he glanced from person to person, finally landing on her. He gave her a timid smile. Meryl smiled easily, “I love that too.”

His eyebrows rose, “Really?”

She nodded vigorously, “It fits.”

His smile went into a full on grin then, “Just an idea.”

“Well, I like that idea very much.”

“Thanks,” He said looking right into her eyes. For a second they were somewhere else.

“Anything is better than a dog’s name.” Clarissa broke their spell with a laugh. Meryl glanced back at them and joined in. She sat back in her chair and watched the three of them go back to chatting. Meryl raised her hand to her stomach and rubbed absent mindedly.

_Danya_ , she thought. Meryl smiled down at her stomach as she felt the little flutters of her baby waking up to the sound of her family laughing around her. This is how it would always be for her baby: laughter and love and so much support. It may not be conventional but it was perfect.

xxxxxxxxx

Meryl had fallen asleep on the way home and when she finally woke it was to Maks lifting her out of the car. She blinked quickly and put her hand on his chest, “I can walk. I’m awake.”

“It’s okay.” He said quietly, kicking the door closed with his foot. The sound vibrated through the parking garage. Meryl leaned her head against his chest and let him carry her towards the elevator, “Wait. I have to get my bag.”

Maks let her down easily and she ran back to the car. She grabbed the bag from the trunk and ran back then took his hand in hers. Maks pushed in the floor number and leaned back against the wall, “You could have just slept in my t-shirt.”

Meryl pulled at the straps on her bag, “I plan on it, but I have a surprise.”

He raised one eyebrow but she didn’t reply, just walked over against the wall and leaned next to him, “That went better than expected. I think.”

He smiled down at her, “I’m not sure what I was expecting, but I think they are happy.”

She nodded and watched as the floor numbers passed, “I’m glad. But, it wouldn’t have mattered. All that matters is that we are happy.”

He regarded her for a silent moment then said, “Then we have nothing to worry about.”

She smiled softly at him and leaned her head on his shoulder, suddenly feeling the overwhelming need to just touch him. The elevator rang, telling them that they had made it to their floor and they walked out together. Maks had decorated his lobby with the lanterns she’d loved from LA and a chair. A plant was in the other corner next to the trash shoot, “This is cute.”

He took his keys out of his pocket at started to work on opening the door, “Thanks. I don’t have a porch like before so this kinda became it.”

She nodded at waited. She had already known what the apartment looked like inside but for some reason she couldn’t wait to see what he’d done to it. When he finally opened the door she walked inside before him.

Right when one entered the door the kitchen was off to the left. It was an open floorplan so you could see the living room from where she stood. There was a large grey couch she’d never seen before with orange cushions that looked inviting as it faced a stone fireplace that sat catty corner next to the large window. Above the fireplace Maks had put his large TV. He had his coffee table littered with magazines and controllers for different game consoles and cable boxes. There was a hallway to the left and that’s where the bedrooms lied. Off of the right of the living room he had an office.

Overall the apartment was smaller than his LA home but it also felt… homier. She looked over her shoulder and smiled, “I like that couch.”

He dropped his keys in the bowl beside the open door and shrugged off his jacket, “Thanks. I got it at a shop about three blocks over.”

“You went furniture shopping in SoHo?”

He smiled, “Yeah. I did. And I did it alone.”

Meryl gasped playfully and walked into the living room, dropping her bag at the end of the hall. There was a patterned rug below her feet she hadn’t noticed before. She took in the apartment as a whole and let out a deep breath. She loved it here. It was comfortable and trendy and it just felt… right.

When she turned back to him she caught him staring at her. She laughed, “What?”

“You.”

“What about me?” She asked.

“You just look like you belong here.”

Meryl bit her lip and rolled her eyes playfully but inside her heart was thudding against its cage again. She stared at him for a second; watching him watch her. There was nothing but love and excitement in his eyes as he looked at her. Meryl shifted and raised her hand to him, “I’m tired.”

He nodded and grabbed her bag before taking her hand. They walked down the hall together and he opened the master bedroom. She smiled at the layout- it was the way she’d imagined it when they were house hunting. He remembered. He always remembered.

Meryl quickly got ready for bed and when she came back into the room from using the restroom he was sitting in his bed, back against the headboard. He didn’t have a shirt on and his pajama pants were faded and he was squinting at his phone. She smiled and walked into the room, “You need to get your eyes checked.”

He glanced up and scrunched his nose, “I’m fine.”

“They have large font for those old men who can’t see,” She teased as she leaned down to her bag and grabbed the ‘surprise’ she’d packed. Maks scowled at her and went back to his phone. She hit it behind her back and walked up to the bed. Meryl did her best to climb on the bed hiding the surprise. Maks put his phone down on the bedside table and then she shifted to sit on her heels, “So. Now that I’m sitting here this may be silly.”

He raised one eyebrow, “What?”

She bit the inside of her cheek and pulled the book from behind her back and gripped it with both hands, holding it in front of her chest, “I bought this… and I was hoping maybe we could, you know, read it together. Maybe just when we are about to go to bed.”

Meryl watched as he glanced from her face to the book in her hands. It was a ‘What to expect’ book she’d found while walking through the store one day. She shook her head and laughed nervously, “Maybe this was stupid.”

“No, no.” He put a hand around her arm and tugged bringing her closer, “I would love that.”

Maks opened his legs and she sat down in between them. She leaned back against his chest, the warmth of him soaked through the thin shirt she slept in. Maks leaned his chin on the crown of her head and wrapped his arms around her, his hands resting on her belly. Meryl smiled and cracked open the book.

He laughed, the rumble of his chest sent shots through her. “What?” She asked happily.

“You may have to read to me,” He said awkwardly.

She looked up at him and gave him her best ‘I told you so’ face then settled back against his chest. He moved to put his chin against her shoulder and she began to read. The book was more interesting than she’d expected and as her eyes began to get heavy she closed the book. He was watching her with a small smile on his face again, “Thank you.”

She shrugged and turned so that she was still lying on him, but on her side, “No problem.”

Maks’ hand went to her back and rubbed softly, lulling her into sleep, “Good night Meryl,” He said against her hair. His hand moved from her back to her belly, “Goodnight, Danya.”

“I love you, both.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff and goo! lol. I hope y'all enjoy! And thanks for continuing this ride with me. I love you so much! PS Four days until twd returns and I'M NOT WATCHING BC FCK THEM! :) Also, please excuse my lack of baby info in this end. I'll try and edit soon! Just too tired right now!
> 
> Pregnancy Info:  
> Meryl is 19 weeks Pregnant with a baby girl.


	18. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alabama. Arkansas. I do love my ma and pa, not the way that I do love you. Holy moly me-oh-my you're the apple of my eye, everything comes easier with you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay okay. This is way late and probably too short but it's something. I'm super swamped with school and junk. But thank you for the continued interest! Love you! Always- J.

[ ](http://s1383.photobucket.com/user/jessiborton/media/CHAPTER%2018_zpsu3tuwecd.png.html)

Meryl stood in the middle of the newly painted nursery and narrowed her eyes as she held her phone up towards the east wall, "Hey Maks?"

She waited until she heard him standing at the doorframe to turn. When she looked at him she couldn't help but smile. He had a light teal mess all over himself from painting and his t shirt that he wore would probably have to be thrown away. He had flecks of paint in his hair and his hands were a mess, "Yeah?"

Meryl nodded towards her phone and held it up, "What do you think of this? For the library?"

Maks walked over to her with a smirk on his face, "Library?"

"Well, bookshelf-chair-lamp-rug area doesn't have the same flow."

Maks braced his hands on her hips from behind and leaned down to look at her phone. There was a white bookshelf with a fun pattern chair and fur rug below, next to a window like the one in the nursery. He nodded, "That would be great."

She leaned back and looked up at him then locked her phone. He dropped his hands and sighed as he looked over the room. He'd spent all morning painting while Meryl taped things off. Today was nesting day.

Since Meryl had come to New York she woke up almost every morning and found her way into the nursery. At first she hid from Maks, but then he found her one morning as she was sitting on the window sill, eyes closed as the sun shone down on her face.

"Goodmorning," he said as he leaned against the doorframe. Meryl jumped slightly but then smiled when she saw him. She said good morning as he walked towards her to sit across from her. Her toes brushed his shin as he brought his leg up, "What's up?"

She shrugged softly and scanned the room, "Just imagining."

He didn't say anything to that, just let her bask in her daydream for a moment before he shifted, "You want to do it?"

She furrowed her brow at him, "Do what?"

"Create the room." He said simply. She smiled and gave a soft nod and that's how they ended up here.

Meryl shoved her phone in her pocket and turned to face him. She reached up to pull off a splash of paint in his hair and smiled, "You wanna shower before we go?"

"I thought this would be okay," he said playfully as he gestured to himself. He leaned down quickly and kissed her lips then stood up straight to stretch. "Yeah. I'm gonna grab a quick shower then we will go."

Meryl nodded and watched as he walked out of the room. She smiled to herself softly as she crossed her arms over her chest and took in a deep breath. The windows were open and the fan blew full speed to dry the paint so the smells of New York City mingled in the air. It was tail end of spring and before she'd known it summer was at her nipping at her toes.

Meryl couldn't believe how fast time was flying for her. She had a lot to do and there was still a lot to be sorted out. The two of them had been tip toeing around the moving-in subject for over a week now, neither really knowing how to start that conversation.

She sighed and walked out of the nursery with that thought nagging at her conscious. About forty five minutes later Meryl was pulling her purse across her body as Maks opened the door for her. She walked through and pushed the elevator button, "So you ready to shop?"

Maks pursed his lips and tilted his head back and forth, "I am. Not sure if my wallet is, though."

She laughed and pushed her shoulder into his side and walked into the elevator as it opened, "Really. I'm just glad we are doing this."

Maks nodded and pressed the lobby button then stood back, "I am too. What all are we getting today?"

"We are hopefully getting the crib, changing table, bookshelf, chair..." She turned to look at him and saw his eyes had gotten wider. She laughed, "Or, just whatever."

He couldn't help but smile back at her. The two walked off the elevator and pushed out of the lobby. The streets weren't too busy; it was early enough for the younger, more bar prone residents to be sleeping off any haze from the night before and late enough for those with jobs to be at work. Meryl had researched all the shops in SoHo to the best of her ability but Maks had insisted the best way to find what one is looking for in NYC was to just walk.

So they did.

After a few stops of window shopping they walked down a small block on the eastern part of town. "I love it here." Meryl said out of the blue.

Maks at her, "I know... It's a lot better than I thought it would be."

Meryl arched a knowing eyebrow at him and smirked. "Don't go getting a big head. You were right... on this."

"And the dances, and the take out, and the wall colors, and the bed spread-"

He laughed, cutting of her jesting then reached for her hand, "Okay. Maybe you can have a little bit of a big head."

Before she could respond he stopped, pulling her with him. Meryl followed his eyes to the store they had nearly passed. It was small and bright- pastel hued letters spelled, "The Cradle Cap," lined the front window. It looked inviting. "Did you find this one online?" He asked.

Meryl shook her head, "No. But it looks adorable."

Maks took a step towards the store and opened the door for her. When she walked through the inviting feeling from the outside tripled. The walls were pale but lined with clouds and bright colored banners. There was a play section by the front window and the store stretched farther back than she expected.

"Hey there!" A blonde, plus sized young girl greeted as she walked towards them.

"Hello," Meryl said happily.

"Is there anything I can help you with today?"

Meryl peered around the store and then back to the young woman in front of her, "Do you have large furniture? Like cribs?"

The girl smiled warmly, "We do! It's in the back if y'all wanna follow me. I'm Jes by the way. I own this little slice of heaven."

Meryl took her hand easily then followed as she turned on her heels. Meryl vaguely noticed as Maks' hand slipped from her own. She was too busy scanning the things in the store. It was like Pinterest on steroids. There were banners and pictures and do-it-yourself things everywhere. It was almost overwhelming. Jes looked over her shoulder and smiled, "Just through here- pardon the boxes. We just opened."

Meryl followed her into the back room where there were several different nurseries on display. The worker nodded towards a book on the far end of the room, "We also have more in that catalog. These are just my personal favorites," she waved her hand at the nurseries, "If you need any help, just ask." Meryl thanked her and walked through the first set up with a small smile on her face. It was dark wood, not what she was looking for, but it was beautiful.

She moved on from set up to set up until she walked into the fourth. It was clean and bright, the white crib looked sturdy but delicate at the same time. She smiled as she ran a hand over the curve of the front gate. One day her little girl would be standing, holding on to it- dark curly hair all askew with a sleepy grin on her face as she waited for her mama to come get her ready for the day. She looked over at the changing table and imagined some more. It was perfect.

Meryl turned, "Maks. I think this is-"

She furrowed her brow when she realized she was standing in the display section alone, "Maks?"

Meryl walked back through where she'd already been. Maks wasn't anywhere. Meryl crossed her arms over her chest and walked back towards the front. The store was mainly quiet as she walked towards the front. Out of the corner of her eyes she saw a small movement and when she moved to see what it was she stopped.

Maks was standing so she could see his profile, in his hands was a small white outfit with a puffy pink tutu around the waist. He was toying with the frill, a distant look on his face. Meryl smile softly as she watched him from afar. Finally she walked towards him and said softly, "That's pretty."

Maks came back to reality and looked from the outfit to Meryl, "Oh. Yeah. It just caught my eye."

Meryl took some of the tutu in between her finger and thumb and rubbed, "I can see why."

He smiled. It was a warm, soft, and heart clenching smile that made her feel like she had blessed him with the kindest words he'd heard. He nodded, "Maybe we could get it for her."

"Absolutely," Meryl said with a nod. Maks looked back down at the outfit and cleared his throat, "I hope she likes to dance. I hope that we get to keep buying her tutus and slippers... Ice skates," he said as he glanced at her, "Whatever she wants."

Meryl moved her hand to curl around his elbow, looking down at the outfit with him, "I hope so too."

He took in a deep breath and seemed to make himself shake off the moment, "Okay. So. Baby furniture."

Meryl squeezed his elbow and dropped her hand, "I found a set I really like."

He followed her back and they had decided it was perfect. They bought the set and the outfit and took the promise of the delivery arriving in two days then left the store. "That was good," he said as the two of them walked back towards the apartment. He held the small pastel blue back with tissue paper in one hand hand and Meryl had her arm hooked through his empty one. She nodded softly and let out a small hum. "I can't wait to get all the big pieces then we can decorate."She said, "And I think I liked that chair from the first store we passed- the bright one with the fiesta colors?"

"Oh yeah. That was a nice one. Don't you want a glider though? To rock her?"

Meryl shrugged, "I don't think so." A beat passed then she said, "But of course it's your nursery. If you want a glider, by all means."

Maks' step seemed to falter a bit, "Oh. Well... I mean..." He stumbled over his words for a second then he tried again, "I mean, I was thinking maybe it could be, you know, the only nursery."

Meryl looked up at him and blinked, "You mean..."

He nodded and shrugged, "I mean, if that's what you want. You don't have to it was just an idea-"

Meryl squeezed his arm to stop him from his bumbling, "It is."

His face melted of stress then he smiled, "It is?"

"Yes." She said strongly, "I want that very much."

He stopped out of no where again but this time he pulled her against his chest. His strong arms wrapped around her shoulders tightly and she responded by doing the same to his middle. Meryl leaned back, her chin rested on his chest as she looked into his eyes. He smiled and leaned down pressing a soft kiss to her lips.

"I love you," she said as he pulled back, the words hitting his lips.

He moved so his hands where cradling her face and he shook his head slightly as he looked her over, "I have always loved you."

She felt her heart tighten in her chest and turned so her ear was flat against his heart, the steady beat told her it wasn't all in her head. With a deep sigh she unraveled herself from him but moved to put her arm back through his. The rest of the walk home was silent.

Home. The word sent a thrill down to her toes.

Meryl knew it had been coming, and really, the talk had been a lot less dramatic than she'd anticipated but it was perfect. That's how things always went with them. Fast and strong and with purpose. Maks opened the door for them and she began to walk past but his hand caught her arm, "Wait."

She raised an eyebrow at him, "Yeah?"

He dropped his hand from her arm and began working at the keys in his hand, "You're gonna need a way to get inside."

She watched as he slid the key off his key ring and then silently gave it to her. They ring felt foreign in her hand as it laid in her palm. She stared down at the small brass piece that had more weight than the small mass it contained. She closed her fingers around it and looked up at him, "So we're really doing it, huh?"

He shrugged nonchalantly, "Welcome home."

She looked at him then at the apartment around her. She felt calm and ready but mainly excited. She put the key in her purse and zipped it tight then gave him a smile. "Knew we would end up here."

He rolled his eyes and smiled, "I already told you- you were right. SoHo isn't _so_ bad."

She laughed and turned to head towards their bedroom, "I meant here. You and me. We just can't stay away from each other."

She could feel the weight of his gaze on her as she walked down the hall but she stopped at the nursery again. The paint was dry and bright and the air in the room was fresh. She took a deep breath in and closed her eyes. Another image popped into her mind, this time it was a beautiful toddler with long dark curls pulled into a bun on top of her head as she twirled on her daddy's feet in the middle of the teal room. Her ice skates sat on the bookshelf and her tutu slid down her hips as she spun. Her hazel eyes filled with laughter as her daddy picked her up and tossed her in the air then caught her smoothly, blowing raspberries on her tummy.

When she opened her eyes again she scanned the room feeling contented. Yeah, she knew they would always end up here. She knew no matter what happened they would always pull each other back because no matter what that's how it was: they came back home to each other.

"Babe," Meryl heard him call from the living room. "I'll do the dishes if you cook. Games on now, though."

Meryl looked out the door and smiled to herself then walked out of the nursery flicking the light off as she left. It was good to be home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love that song, dang it! And yes I totally put myself in the story as the shop owner lol. It was just easier. Plus maybe I'm a tiny bit narcissistic? ;) Anyways thank you so much for all the comments, reblogs, likes, messages, everything that I get on this story. It really warms my heart. You guys are the best. I'm projecting about 3 more chapters so hang in there! Love you!
> 
> Meryl's Pregnancy Info:  
> Baby Danya Chmerkovskiy  
> 22 weeks  
> Size: Papaya  
> Gender: Baby Girl  
> Cravings: Chocolate Milk  
> Worst Part of Pregnancy: Back Aches  
> Best Part of Pregnancy: Nesting  
> Most Excited For: Furniture to arrive
> 
>  
> 
> [](http://s1383.photobucket.com/user/jessiborton/media/week%2022%20tummy%20size_zpsxud5yez2.png.html)  
> 


	19. Laugh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Headaches. Blurred vision. Swelling. High blood pressure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey there! SO… I know I suck and I don’t update like I did but I had some things I needed to sort through and school has been kicking my butt! But I’m excited to publish a new chapter. Now that we have gotten through the thick of it, these will continue to follow a plot-like theme but they are almost one-shot like instead of full flushed-out, if that makes sense? Lol. Anyways thank you so much for your continued interest and your awesome support. I love you! Thank you! I hope you enjoy! Always- J.

“I honestly don’t know what that means…”

Meryl flicked her gaze from her doctor to Maks and back again, all the while picking at her cuticles. Preeclampsia? Of course she’d heard of it but she’d never paid too much mind to it. She knew it had to do with blood pressure and she also knew it wasn’t good.

“I’m not saying you have it, Ms. Davis,” Doctor Kyle gave Meryl a reassuring smile; “I’m saying I want to make sure you don’t.”

Maks cleared his throat, “So, last time we came here you said everything was normal.”

Doctor Kyle nodded and closed Meryl’s file. She was sitting on a rolling stool over by a counter in the examination room, “Preeclampsia rears its ugly head after twenty weeks. Thankfully- if you do have it- we caught it early. But, as you stated before you’ve been under an un-normal amount of stress with moving and selling your place.”

Meryl took her bottom lip between her teeth and pulled at the skin. Her hand fell to her stomach as her eyes drifted over to Maks. His eyes were bouncing between the doctor, her stomach, and her face with worry. “Okay,” Meryl said evenly, “What’s the next step from here?”

“We take a urine test and I’ll call you as soon as the results are in. If there is too much protein in it then we’ll test your kidney and liver and see what’s going on.” Doctor Kyle pushed her stool to come closer towards Meryl and laid a reassuring hand on her knee, “It’ll be okay. Better to know now.”

Meryl tried to swallow and felt her throat was drier than a desert. She’d never really had a medical issue before- nothing of a high caliber and definitely nothing that could affect more than just her. She nodded shortly at her doctor. Doctor Kyle pulled a small plastic cup from the cabinet and pressed it in Meryl’s hand, “Try and give us a sample then when I get the results back I’ll have Patty at the front desk schedule an appointment.”

Meryl thanked the doctor and turned to Maks. He’d looked like he had forgotten something important. Meryl smiled weakly at him and reached out her hand. He threaded his fingers through hers and forced a terse smile, “She said it’ll be okay.”

“Yeah,” Meryl said softly, “It’ll be fine.” She stood, still holding onto his hand while she examined the cup, “I better go get this. I’ll meet you in the lobby.”

He squeezed her hand once then dropped it uncertainly, “Okay.”

She watched him walk to the door then felt herself lean against the examination table behind her. She gulped in several deep breaths of air and tried her best to bat back the wave of panic that had threated her. Her knuckle turned white as she grasped the table for support behind her and she ducked her chin. This was terrifying. She hadn’t even known if she had the problem but she already felt like a failing mother- the baby wasn’t even born yet and she couldn’t keep it safe. Meryl squeezed her eyes shut and took in one final deep breath before pushing to support her weight on her feet.

Meryl walked into the busy hall and into the small restroom off the side of nurse’s station. After finishing Meryl quickly locked her sample in the small safe as instructed. She washed her hands and looked at herself in the mirror. She looked normal. Hell, she felt normal. She had a few more headaches than usual but she had hoped that she could crack that up to the moving. But inside, underneath her skin, deep within her veins her blood was running fast and hard. She squinted as if trying to see her heart through her skin and bones but it was no use.

She gave herself a final once over then walked to meet Maks in the lobby. He was sitting with his nose practically shoved in a pamphlet. There was a stack of them sitting on his lap and she couldn’t help but smile smally at the sight of him. There was a crease in his forehead as he worked out what the information was telling him and he scratched at the scruff on his cheek. Meryl walked over to him quietly and leaned over to see what he was reading. He glanced up and gave her a smile then grabbed the pamphlets from his lap and stood, “You good?”

She nodded and took the things from his hands; there were pamphlets on blood pressure and preeclampsia, breast feeding and support groups. She arched an eyebrow at him, “You did a lot of research in a short amount of time.”

Maks shrugged, “I asked Patty and she gave me some materials.”

Meryl looked back at the older woman who was squinting through her reading glasses at the computer in front of her. She liked Patty a lot. She was sweet and gentle and seemingly hadn’t been able to say a mean thing about one person and no matter what got Meryl the appointment date she needed. As if sensing it, Patty looked up and wiggled her fingers at Meryl with a wink. Meryl waved back and smiled then turned back to Maks, “We’ll have to add these to our reading list.”

Maks reached for her hand and she took it easily. He opened the door for her and ushered her into the car a little more protective than normal. He watched her sit down and handed her the seat belt and made sure she put it on then closed her door. Narrowing her eyes she watched as he rounded the car- a scowl had taken up permanent residence on his face.

“ _You_ good?” She asked as he sat down. He stuck the key in the ignition before looking over at her. He took and deep breath then nodded quickly, “I’m good, yeah.”

“You don’t seem good.”

He began to back out and glanced at her again. He didn’t say anything but then again, he didn’t have to. She could tell by the way he looked at her- heavy and strong- that he wasn’t good. He wasn’t good but right now, in this moment, he needed to pretend to be. She pressed her lips together then forced the corners up slightly. “I’m scared, too.”

Maks closed his eyes briefly, as if letting the words soak into his skin then put the car in drive. She turned her head to lean against the cool glass and closed her eyes; a rush of exhaustion hit her. She let the slow rocking of the car put her to sleep. When she had woken up next they were pulling into the driveway of her condo and Val was shoving a box into the back of the rented U-Haul. Meryl blinked steadily waking herself up then unbuckled her seat belt and got out of the car without a word. She laughed as Val cursed at the box he’d been shoving onto a high stack, “Hey.”

“Hey Mer!” He pushed again and a couple boxes fell to the floor making him groan.

“Need help?”

“No.” Meryl turned with a furrowed brow in the direction of the voice who’d answered for Val. Maks stood with his keys in one hand, pamphlets in the other, and a testy look on his face, “You aren’t helping.”

“If they lady is kind enough to offer-“

“Teeho.” Maks said sternly.

Val’s eyebrows rose at that and he put his hands up, “Okay, damn.”

Meryl mouthed a quick, ‘sorry’ to Val before following Maks into her condo. Her place was nearly all packed up. She had boxes and bubble wrap strewn all over the place and they’d already gone through three rolls of boxing tape. Meryl hadn’t realized how much stuff she had until she’d began to pack it up. Stepping around a stray box marked, ‘donation,’ Meryl walked up the stairs behind Maks and said, “I can still help.”

“We got it,” He said disinterested.

“I’m not an invalid-“

“You’re not helping.” He said strongly as they reached the landing, cutting off her argument. She opened her mouth to respond but snapped it closed finding it best to not start an argument. Especially with her family around: her brother and dad where in the kitchen looking very perturbed over a kitchen table while Jenna and Cheryl where stacking dishes into a box while having an animated conversation. Jenna caught sight of her friend and stopped, “Hey, girl! How’s my little ear of corn doing?”

Meryl gave her a lame look and furrowed her brow, “We have a name now.”

Jenna pulled another plate out of the cabinet and started wrapping it in newspaper and shrugged, “I know. But the whole food-baby name is kind of my thing.”

Meryl rolled her eyes at her friend then sighed, “Actually… I’m not… sure.” She turned to glance up at Maks who stood quiet beside her, his face still stony. That stopped most people in their tracks. Meryl glanced around the room at the curious, worried faces staring back at her, “The doctor wants to check me for Preeclampsia. I guess my blood pressure has been higher than they’d like- plus those headaches.”

“What’s that?” Clayton asked.

“It’s where there is damage to the liver or kidneys and it can be really serious to both me and Danya.” Meryl said quickly, “But it can be controlled. Plus we don’t know if I even have it.”

She watched as her parents had a silent conversation between the two of them and suddenly felt eerily like a teenager again. She shifted her gaze to Jenna who had stopped wrapping the dish and was looking at her with worry lines around her mouth, “What can we do?”

“Nothing,” Meryl assured, “It’s all a waiting game right now. I’ll be fine, just scary.”

“She’s on light duty,” Maks said over her shoulder.

She looked at him and narrowed her eyes then turned back to her family, “I’m not _technically_. Just by Maks’ orders.”

“Good enough for us,” Paul said.

Meryl tsked and looked at her dad. He raised his eyebrows as if asking her if she wanted to test him. She didn’t. Instead she walked over to the folding chair that was sitting in the living room and plopped down, “Anyone want to wrap me in bubble tape while I’m here? Just to prove a point?”

They group chuckled and returned to packing up her home while she sat there and watched like a spectator at a sport.  By the time the house was pretty much packed her butt was numb from sitting and she had no more finger nails to bite. She was finally given quasi-permission to get off her throne when her family and friends went to leave. “Thank you so much,” Meryl said pulling her mother into a hug, “You guys are so fast.”

Cheryl took her daughter in her arms and rubbed her back comfortingly, “Anytime, sweetie. And please, listen to us. Don’t over extend yourself-“

“Mom, I don’t even know-“

“Just to be safe.” She said as she pulled her out by her arms like she did when she was little. Meryl regarded her mother for a second then nodded chastely. No over extending. Got it. She hugged the rest of her loved ones and walked them down the stairs to the door. She watched them pull away then closed the door with a drawn out sigh. Meryl glanced over her condo and found it unbearably empty.

She was moving in with Maks at any time- or as soon as they were done and selling the condo. There wouldn’t be a point to keeping the condo in Michigan when the baby would be rooted in New York. She felt her chest tighten at the idea of leaving this place. Her home. It was the first place she’d ever owned and every corner of the place was hers. She heard clanking from the kitchen upstairs and smiled as she walked up the steps and towards the sounds.

Maks was in the kitchen clawing through boxes, his hair mused and his lips in a line. He tore a neatly newspaper-wrapped pan from one of the boxes and tossed it hazard on the counter. The loud bang made her jump but she didn’t say anything- not that he would have noticed.

She’d seen this look before: determined and unstoppable and blatantly stressed. He took an onion that had been sitting on the counter and ran a knife through it with the utmost precision, but fast and hard. Meryl felt the tension rising off of him from across the room.

He cooked when he was upset. “It’s constructive,” She remembered him saying.

She waited for him to finish dicing the onion and tossing it in to the pan that was now waiting on the burner before she walked over to him and pressed herself against his back. He stilled as she wrapped her arms around his middle and pressed her cheek between his shoulder blades- nuzzling against the warm cotton. Meryl felt as he took in a deep breath and his body softened, his arms braced the counter and he let his head fall.

“Sorry,” She whispered against his spine.

He stiffened again and his head faced forward with a harsh shake, “Don’t.”

She said in a low voice, “I know it’s not my fault. I just… I don’t want you to worry about us.” She swallowed and a hollow laugh rose to her lips, “I feel so helpless. I hate that feeling.”

He pushed on her arms to get her to disentangle herself from him. She stepped back and as he faced her the look on his face was what she was expecting. He looked slightly annoyed and worried but mostly determined and strong, “You can’t stop me from worrying,” He said, “This is it, Meryl. I’m going to worry about you and Danya and any other kids we may have for the rest of my life.”

She grabbed his hands and let her thumbs trace small circles around his knuckles, “You can’t stop me from trying.”

The corners of his mouth twitched and it made her feel warm all over, “Then it’s settled, you can’t stop me from worrying and I won’t stop you from trying to make me not, deal?”

She nodded, “Deal.”

He pulled at their joined hands so that they were pressed together, chest to chest. She leaned her head against the expanse of his chest and felt as he leaned his nose into her hand and pressed his lips there, “But I _am_ scared.”

She let herself feel scared for the first time since she’d heard the words from the doctor. For some reasons being scared with someone else, with him, made things a little easier. She pressed her forehead against his chest and swallowed and let the feeling consume her for a minute. She was terrified. Not only of the condition but of everything; could she do it- could she be the mother she wanted to be? Her body wasn’t her own anymore and for one second she let herself even contemplate that maybe he body as telling her she couldn’t do it.

But then… Then she felt the flutter of a butterflies wing tap within her stomach, a light yet jarring sensation low in her tummy. She felt her daughter kick her- kick her as if she was kicking some sense into her and saying: “Mommy- get a hold of yourself.”

Meryl took one of her hands from Maks’ and placed it where her little one was dancing and nodded.

_I hear you little bug_ , she thought to herself, _you just have to remind me sometimes._

“Shit,” She heard come from above her. Meryl stepped back and furrowed her brow at Maks who had torn away from her and was now turned towards the stove. She looked over his shoulder to see now-black pellets of onion stuck to the base of one of her pans.

And then she laughed.

He looked over his shoulder with an exasperated look on his face and then, just like that, he began to laugh too. They both laughed so hard Maks was folded at the waist and Meryl was holding her stomach. They laughed not only for the onion- but for everything. For the crazy way their life had directed them and the obstacles that they jumped and passed. They laughed because it felt good. They laughed because they could feel again.

Meryl wiped away the tears that had formed in her eyes and took a deep breath in and reached for the pan and picked it off the stove and flipped it, none of the contents fell to the floor- just stayed stuck on the pan. Meryl laughed and took a deep breath, “Jenna would probably call this karma for unwrapping her nicely done work.”

Maks stood up, face red but happy and took the pan from her then tossed it in a designated trash bin, “I’ll buy you a new one.”

She shrugged at walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist and looked up at him. They could do this. They could make it through the hard stuff. They could make it through the whirlwinds and the back steps and the steps forward because really, it wouldn’t be theirs if there wasn’t those things. She squeezed her arms tighter around him then.

He wrapped on arm around her shoulder then took his hand to gently press a hair back behind her ear. “I love you.” He said plainly. He traced the pad of his thumb across her bottom lip and furrowed his brow ever so slightly, “And that lip biting habit is getting distracting.”

Meryl felt herself smile and resisted the urge to bite her lip at the mention of it. She shrugged at then sighed, “Well at least _my_ habit doesn’t result in missing frying pans.”

She squeaked as she felt him tickle her sides. Then suddenly she was up in the air. He had picked her up from behind the knees and was walking her towards the living room. She wrapped her arms around him and laughed as he sat her down on the couch and tossed the remote at her gently, “True enough. Dinners on me.” He walked back into the kitchen and came back with his cell phone in one hand and what looked like menus in the other. He plopped down beside her and handed her what was really the pamphlets they’d picked up from the doctor’s office earlier that day as he pressed a number into his phone. He ordered their favorite Chinese food and when he was done he turned to her and nodded down to the things in her hands, “I thought maybe we could study while we wait.”

She looked down at the pamphlets and picked up the one about preeclampsia. She dug her nails into the back of the paper and tried to swallow the cotton that had formed in her mouth. She looked up at him to see a reassuring look on his face and he gave her a nod.

She opened the pamphlet and cleared her throat then looked at him one last time- taking comfort from the light she found in his eyes and the strength then began to read aloud: “Preeclampsia is a condition that only occurs during pregnancy and the postpartum period…”

Meryl read aloud every word from the brochure, soaking in every line. She wasn’t daft enough to let herself believe that it couldn’t happen to her but she did believe that it would be okay- no matter the outcome. She knew that as long as she had him and they had each other that Danya would be safe and loved and taken the best care of that either of the could possibly do.

So, she would continue to do her best to try to make him not worry- no matter that he would worry, anyways. He would keep burning frying pans and onions and she would still bite her lips and question herself. But no matter the lost cookware or late-night break downs they would find a way to laugh.

They would always continue to laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I’m just gonna do a quick run through:
> 
> Meryl is 24 weeks pregnant and she is running the possibility of preeclampsia. You can read more about the condition here: preeclampsia.org. We shall see about the results soon. I also wanted to touch base- as of right now, with my story, there probably won’t be a DWTS finale chapter because I believe the window has passed or will be passing soon. But, I’m not 100% yet. Anyways, thank you for the comments and everything. Sincerely means the world~.


	20. Jessi Announcement.

Hey everyone...

I needed to take a chapter and talk to you.

I love you, you know that right? Well- if you didn't, you do now.

Anyways. I know I have neglected this story. I know I have, but, although a lame excuse, life has knocked me on my ass. So, with that being said these next few chapters will be short one shots of Meryl and Maks throughout the pregnancy. These will just be short little blurbs of moments that I thought would be cute or funny in their lives. The last chapter, that I won't be posting along with these one shots, will be the giving birth chapter then an epilogue. 

Some may be disappointed that and with how the story ends so quickly, but... This is life and this story deserves and ending. I don't feel right orphaning the work. I need to put a close on this story and I need to do it while I still ship the two of these people.

Now don't get me wrong. I ship Maks and Meryl probably forever but, I don't think they are together anymore. But I  _DO_  think they are happy in their lives and that is what is most important. Always has been.

So, in closing. If you're disappointed with this, that's okay. I can't say I'm sorry- because this is my story. But, I can say I appreciate your support. Thank you.

You guys rock.

Love you! Always,

-J.

[ ](http://s1383.photobucket.com/user/jessiborton/media/Hug_zpse5jqzfpz.gif.html)


	21. One

She didn’t.

She didn’t have preeclampsia. Meryl swallowed back a huge sigh of relief as she calmly sat the phone down on the counter. She was alone in the apartment; Maks was gone for the day at the studio where he had begun teaching classes and running more of the business. The clock ticked loudly on the wall, into an empty room and for some reason she couldn’t take that sound. She knew he was busy, knew he needed to focus on work, but she needed to see him- needed to feel his arms around her at this exact moment because she was just so…

Without so much as a second thought she turned towards the front of the apartment and grabbed her keys before closing the door and running into the elevator. As each moment passed anxiousness welled up inside her tummy- threatening to burst.

She had been terrified of that phone call.

No, preeclampsia wasn’t a death sentence. She knew that. But suddenly, after setting that phone down, she felt like a dam was about to break. Between moving, selling her home, being over seven months pregnant, and the threat of a diagnosis weighing down her shoulders she had felt like she was silently drowning, like the only thing that was left out of water was her nose, taking in only enough air to make her lungs itch for more.

And after hearing her doctor’s reassurances, after finally unpacking the last of her boxes, after signing the last document to selling her home she had finally been able rise above it, to open her mouth and breathe and suddenly it was too much to be alone.

Meryl kept her arms over her chest and her head down as she bobbed and weaved through the busy New York streets and almost passed the studio she was so engrossed in her thoughts.

When she entered she waved a small hello at the secretary. She walked back towards his office and when he wasn’t there she wandered around the studios trying to find him. She stopped in and saw Alex teaching a hip hop class. She entered and waited for the music to lull and he waved at her, “Hold on guys.”

He jogged over to her with a smile, “Hey Meryl, what’s up?”

“Hey. Have you seen Maks?”

He furrowed his brow and wiped sweat away shaking his head, “He wasn’t in his office?”

“No,” She said, “He’s not teaching a class?”

He formed a line with his mouth and shook his head again, “No. Said he was working on some paperwork. I would help but,” He tossed a thumb over his shoulder.

She waved him off, “No, no. I can find him. See ya.”

She watched him go back to teaching then walked out of the room. She scanned the hall for a moment then moved to the right. The studio was mostly quiet, it was mid-day and in the middle of the week so it was about as dead as one would expect. She crossed her arms over her chest and turned down a small hallway. She heard music coming from a closed door.

She walked and pushed the door open quietly and saw him sitting against the glass wall, Sam Smith blaring from the speakers as he bobbed his head looking over paperwork. She smiled softly as she watched him, completely engrossed in his work. The music was loud enough he hadn’t heard her come in.

She walked over slowly, not wanting to scare him. When he noticed her he glanced up in surprise and a soft, worried smile came to his mouth, “Hey,” he yelled. He picked up the remote that was next to him and turned off the music and stood quickly, “Everything okay?”

They walked to each other and stood face to face. She nodded, “Everything is great.”

He tilted his head, “Yeah?”

She nodded, “Yeah.”

“Did the doctor?”

“Mhm.” She said taking a step towards him. She wrapped her arms around him and breathed him in. When his arms wrapped around her like a second nature the weight that had settled against her chest seemed to fly away. This was exactly what she needed.

He let out a deep sigh into her hair and pressed a kiss on the top of her head. Whatever invisible tension he had held melted off of him in that moment and for a second she let herself get lost. She had been so stressed out, so worried that she had forgotten what it had felt like to just be okay.

But here, in his arms, she was okay. It was always okay.


	22. Two

July. 

July was hot as the steam from the pavement rose into air like hot breath against ones neck. Even on nights like this, clear and dark, there was no escaping the heat.

Meryl grimaced as she rolled the sleeve of her T-shirt closer up her shoulders, "Maks?"

 

He didn't respond, his steady breathing told her he was very much asleep. His arm was draped across her and the places where their skin met was slick with sweat. 

"Maks."

 

All of the sudden the feeling of the heat and his arm across her was all too much and she pushed his arm off of her. He woke with surprise and watched and she flung herself off of the bed. 

 

She was sure she looked nuts as she stood looking at him with wide eyes and her hair a halo of brown knots, sweat dotting her brow. 

 

"What's wrong?" He asked.

 

"It's like... 190 degrees in here." She swiped her forehead with the back of her hand, "And your just... Just," she gestured across her abdomen, "On me."

 

Maks knew she was serious but he couldn't help but smile at her. In truth, it wasn't that hot- the air was on- but he nodded anyway, "Sorry- just habit to hold you."

Her face flickered from exasperated to something soft, but only for an instant. She straightened and made herself scowl, "Well... It's too hot."

 

"Okay," He said questioningly, "What can I do?"

 

She scoffed, "I don't know? Get a fan."

 

"I don't have a fan babe." He said as he began rubbing the heals of his hands into his eyes. 

 

She shrugged her shoulders, "Get one."

 

He laughed out loud which only pissed her off further. Since hitting the seven month mark her temper had been as hot as the weather. But, she knew he would rather her have a hot temper than preeclampsia. The scare had set them both on edge.

 

"Maks!" She whined.

 

He sighed and pushed the sheet off of him and threw his hands up, "I'll go get a fan."

 

She rolled up her sleeves again then nodded, "Good."

 

She watched as he tossed on a t shirt  on and began walking out the door. "Maks?" 

 

He turned, "Yeah?"

 

She squirmed slightly at his ever-thinning tone, "And... Uhm... Ice cream."

 

"What?"

 

"Could you get me some ice cream, too?"

 

He blinked at her and shook his head as he started to walk down the hallway, "Yeah... I'll get you ice cream."

 


	23. Three

She was crying. 

 

He could hear it from the moment he had stepped foot in their home. Maks had been teaching a class at one of the studios all night, leaving her here to her own devices. At seven and a half months pregnant Meryl had become... Well... 

 

Needy.

 

Not that Maks let himself complain- he wasn't the one carrying the baby, but he never knew what he was going to come home to. 

 

So, tonight: crying.

 

Maks dropped his gym bag off to the side and sat his water bottle on the counter then headed towards their room. As he passed the bathroom he itched to take a shower but he knew if she had heard him come in without saying something, he'd be in hot water.

 

He had learned that the hard way.

 

When he made it into their room she wasn't there. He craned his neck further in to see the walk in closet light on and the sounds of utter despair seeping out, "Mer?"

 

There was a sputtering intake of breaths then a sniffle. He scowled and walked into the doorway of the closet where Meryl sat pitifully on the floor with a pile of clothes around her, her little nose red and her face wet with tears. She wiped at her face with the back of her hand when she saw him standing there and hiccuped.

Maks smiled gently and walked further into the room and sat across from her indian style. He folded his hands in his lap and waited.

 

"You know how much this costs?" She finally managed. She held up a blue dress and looked at it with disdain, "Over $500. $500, Maks. And I can barely get it over my thighs!"

 

The last word came out with a flood of tears and he cringed. He took the dress from her clutches and threw it behind him- out of sight out of mind, "You don't need that right now anyways."

 

She rolled her eyes, "I can't even find anything to wear to the grocery store." She picked up more clothing and dropped them, "You owe me."

 

He furrowed his brow, "What?"

 

"You." She said pointedly, "You did this to me _and_ my wardrobe."

 

He felt the corners of his mouth twitch in a smile, "Takes two to tango."

 

She narrowed her eyes, "You're the one with the smoking gun, here."

 

He laughed and couldn't stop himself from reaching across to her and pulling her against his chest. She pushed at him but he could feel her smiling. She relaxed soon, giving up the fight and hummed, "I just want to know what jeans feel like again."

 

He let her go and nodded as he glanced at the pile around her. And then, like that, he had an idea, "Stay here." 


	24. Four

He was positive he had never been afraid of a hobby before.

As Meryl had steadily approached her eighth month of being pregnant Maks was also becoming more and more weary of the smell baked goods wafting from his apartment. 

At first it was nice- some warm baked cookies when he got home, or some fresh bread at dinner made from scratch, but then... Then it became a problem of sorts.

Meryl had started her marathon of baking over two weeks ago and his kitchen had turned into a bakery. There were Tupperware containers stacked high on the counters and pies frozen in the freezer. He had taken at least two dozen cupcakes with him to the studio last night and when he came home there was twice as many to replace the ones he's given away. So when he saw her walking towards the kitchen, phone in hand, he stopped her, "Where you going?"

"Kitchen." Not stopping to regard him.

Maks jumped up from the couch, "What for?"

"Banana nut bread." 

He tried not to groan, "I think we ran out of eggs."

Maks watched as she opened the fridge and pulled out a brand new container, "I got some delivered."

He tried to hold his tongue. He really, really did. But, in the end, his need to give both his oven and her a break won out, "Meryl..."

"What?"

"You've got to take a break."

Meryl arched an eyebrow at him and pushed on her tip toes, the jeans he had loaned her hung low on her hips, sliding down to show a sliver of pink cotton as she reached for the mixing bowl on a high shelf "Baking is hardly strenuous."

Maks took in a breath, "Meryl, baby. Please."

He knew that she had heard the lack of laughter in his tone when she put the bowl down on the counter and braced her hands on either side. For a second she looked at him then back down at the bowl and shifted her weight. He stepped forward so he was across the island from her, face to face, and leaned his hip against the counter, "What's up?"

Meryl scratched at invisible dirt around the brim of the bowl then shook her head, "Nothing."

"Though you haven't ever resulted to baking, I know you keep yourself busy when you get worried. Tell me." He said.

When she didn't reply right away he had thought that maybe she wasn't going to tell him at all but then she said, "I'm just... Maybe in a way..." She held her hand up and positioned her thumb and finger with a small gap up, "Maybe a tiny bit... Freaking out."

He pressed his lips in a line then walked around the island to her side and drew her against his chest. She couldn't lay her head against his chest like she used to, her belly stuck out too far, and when she huffed at the realization he laughed. Maks pulled her close as he could and leaned his nose against the crown of her head, "What part is freaking you out?"

He felt her shrug, "What part isn't?"

Maks rubbed small circles on her back and leaned away to look at her, "Okay. How about, what sent you into a banana bread mode?"

Meryl swallowed, "Well I was thinking about labor. That freaks me out," she said easily, "And before I was thinking about schools- should we put her in private school? I mean... I went to public school my whole life and I turned out just fine... And then I started thinking about Michigan and how I have to make a schedule to bring Danya out there then I thought, 'Great now you are gonna be the lady with the baby on the plane!' And then I started thinking about packing and..."

Maks felt his eyes get wider with ever sentence she started and finally he had to cut her off. He raised his hands from her back to both sides of her face and caught her eyes. When brown met grey she let her words trail and her mouth hang open slightly. He smiled and shook his head, "You're crazy."

She furrowed her brow slightly and brought her hands to cup his wrists, "Is this supposed to be helpful?"

He laughed and said, "No, but this is: we will figure out the schools when we come to it, we are taking Danya to Michigan as much as possible- and yes, on a plane. And you won't be the lady with the baby- it will be the couple with the baby. And you are a great packer and there are stores everywhere, if you forget then we can figure it out. You can do this," he said strongly, his thumbs brushing the apples of her cheeks, "we can do this."

"You and me?" She said softly.

"Thats it."


	25. Five

Meryl chewed on her nail anxiously as she waited for him to pick up. She had heard of this happening- she knew it was a thing- but she never thought it would happen to her. 

"Pregnancy Brain." Or so her mother had told her. It was something to do with fatigue and short term memory loss but at the moment she didn't care what it was- all she cared about was why she was standing out side of Gianno's Corner Market.

She had told Maks she was going the pick up some things- she had even made a list, something she was doing more of these days. It wasn't long but it was enough to send her downstairs and down two blocks to the store.

"Hello?"

Meryl dropped her hand from her mouth and skipped the greeting, "Why am I here again?"

She wanted to sock him one when she heard him laugh over the phone, "Are you serious?"

She rolled her eyes and looked at the store in front of her, "Very. I can't remember... Was it milk?"

"No..." He drug out the word. He was enjoying this.

"Bread?"

"Nope."

"Maks..." Her tone tipped trying to warn him.

She heard him move around on his end of the phone as he let out a groan as he got off the couch, "Do you remember where you put the list?"

"I think it's on the third shelf in the fridge. Next to the asparagus."

She probably could have laughed at herself if she didn't know that the possibility of the list being in the fridge was as high as it was. She was doing that a lot lately. Just forgetting things. Meryl heard the fridge door open, "Yup. Here it is."

She sighed easily, a smile forming on her lips, "Awesome. Can you read it to me?"

He told her what she had written down and she ended the call. She stepped into the market and grabbed a basket then frowned.

She pulled her phone out and before she could even open the phone call button she saw she had a new text. It was Maks, he had texted her the grocery list knowing full well she was going to forget again.

Pregnancy Brain wasn't so bad when you had someone like him to share it with. 


	26. Six

He was, to his very core, a giver. 

Meryl had known that before she had been able to say she loved him, but it still sent thrills up and down her body when she was on the receiving end.

The pair had been walking down a silent, dark street in SoHo when Maks had stopped her and lead her off the side walk.

"What are you doing?" Meryl asked as he pulled her out into the cobble stone street. There were no cars coming but that fact didn't make her any less nervous. 

"It's a surprise," Maks smirked. He seemed to be looking for something as he walked further into the street. She watched as he looked up and over his shoulder a few times, eyes narrowed.

Meryl glanced around then as she worried her bottom lip. They had to look ridiculous, the two of them standing in the middle of the street late on a Thursday night. The warmth of the summer still clung in the air but she still shivered as a breeze swept through the empty streets. Maks squeezed her hand and glance at her, "Just one second."

He looked over and up again and Meryl glanced at the buildings around them with a furrowed brow. The only thing she noticed was the lack of light. 

He stopped so abruptly she almost ran into him. "Yes!"

"Maks, what-" His hands were around the top of her arms before she could finish her sentence and he pulled her against him so her back was glued to his front. He bent his knees to get to her level then raised his hand, finger pointing upwards.

She felt the air catch in her throat as she looked up to where his finger pointed up to the sky. 

She had seen stars- so many in her life- but since moving to the city the glimpses were few and far between. She had mentioned to him that on nights like these she would have bonfires and look at the stars with her friends or her family. Mentioned that she had missed it.

As always- he'd listened. Meryl stared up at the sky, admiring the few twinkles above them.

"This is one of the only places to see the stars," he said against her ear, "I used to come here after working at a restaurant three blocks over. I almost forgot about it."

Meryl reached blindly for his hands and moved them to circle her waist, above the baby. They stood there looking at the stars for a while until he pulled back. She stepped forward and turned to face him with a smile. He grinned back and then cleared his throat- raising a hand to toy with his bottom lip, "I, uh, also got you something."

She watched as he reached into the pocket of his jeans and almost started to protest. He raised as eyebrow as her jaw dropped to say something and she quickly snapped it shut.

It was in a certain blue bag- a Tiffany blue, one would say. Small and light as he handed it to her, a nervous smile on his lips, "I hope you like it."

She glanced up at him and gave him her best incredulous look then lifted the small box from the bag. She smiled at him then handed him the bag and held the box with both hands, her heart pumping in her chest. It wasn't small enough to be a ring, but it was small and square and light. 

She loved it already.

"Go ahead," he said softly, nudging her hand with his knuckle. She felt herself break into an even bigger smile then shook her head, "You didn't have to."

He shrugged, "Nope."

Meryl ran her fingers over the imprint of the box then slowly began lifting up the lid. Inside, sitting on plush velvet was a silver bangle, it was delicate and light with the word "Danya" formed out of metal. On either side of the name was a small diamond. 

Meryl was never a name wearer. She had never fallen into the thirty-one trend but the small silver bracelet was the most beautiful thing she has ever seen. The word was small and the band was small too. It was done so tastefully it looked fragile.

It look expensive.

She faltered as she reached to pull out the jewelry and held it in her hand. She slid it on her wrist and it felt natural.

She looked down at it with a smile, unable to erase the happiness that resided there. "It's stunning," she all but whispered.

Maks smiled and reached to hold her wrist in his hands, his thumb gliding over the scrawled name. A horn honked from down the streets as headlights washed over them. Maks pulled her so quickly she let out a yelp as he drug her to the sidewalk. They were both laughing so hard, totally enthralled by the youthful defiance that by the time their laughing had turned to short intakes of breath she had to lean against him. 

"Well, that broke the moment," he said dryly, a smile still tugging at his lips.

She shook her head, her hair catching on the fabric of his shirt, "It's still perfect."

He looked down at her with such love she started to feel warm all over, down to her core. When he raised his hand to run through her hair she leaned into his touch, never breaking eye contact, "Thank you," she said, "You didn't have to, but I'm glad you did."

He broke the eye contact to look down at her hand and grabbed her wrist again. He thumbed the metal then lowered his hands and wound his finger through hers, "You're welcome. Ready to go home?"

She glanced up at the sky, seeing nothing but the black inkiness of night, the stars hidden away. She let out a breath then nodded, "Ready."


	27. Seven

Ready was one thing she was not.

She felt his eyes on her as she made her way through the closet mumbling under her breath. She couldn't find her favorite pair of yoga pants and the outfit Maks' parents had boughten Danya to home in was somewhere under a pile of gifts stacked high in the corner of the nursery. 

She wanted to stomp her foot. Between her hot flashes, the random and sudden need-to-per moments, and her forgetfulness she was glad September had finally come around. When she turned around from looking  in vain for her yoga pants she saw Maks leaning against the doorframe. 

"Hi." She said with a clip. She pushed passed him and walked over to their chest of drawers and started pushing through the folded clothes there, "Have you seen my dark grey yoga pants?" 

"I have," he said calmly. She turned around quickly to see him holding the material out of the bag she was packing with a wry grin. 

Meryl felt her face get hot then walked over to him and shook her head with a tsk. She took the pants from him then pushed them back into her bag and let out a breathy, sad laugh. "I'm so ready to be not pregnant."

Maks looked down at her and lifted one side of his mouth at her. "Hold my hand."

Meryl glanced up at him then, a call back to when they'd first met. A moment she knew he had cherished. She quietly put her hand in his and waited, "I think you're just scared."

"Of what?"

When the words left her lips she felt herself warm. It was his turn to do this for her.

"I don't know. I think, maybe, of not getting this perfect. Of forgetting something." He said.

"Not getting it right," She added.

He tilted his head back and forth then tsked, "The thing is- she has nothing to compare you to. You're her mommy. Even when you're wrong, you're right."

She took a deep breath and let the words settle in her soul. They were like a balm. She felt him squeeze her hand then saw him smile, "Now. Let me help."

He moved her to sit on the bed then picked up the list and handed it to her, "You read, I'll fetch."

She laughed and then nodded, "Okay."

Like a well oiled machine, as she read off the items to put in her bag he went and got, handing them to her to pack. It had become such a routine that the next item on her list she had read without even comprehending what it meant, "Maks T-Shirt."

He blinked and she felt her face burn. She had meant to put that in her bag as a comfort. She wasn't sure what she was going to do with it, maybe just smell it or have it by her, maybe not even wear it, but she knew she couldn't sleep easily without him near her anymore so having something like a shirt might have helped.

Before she could make up a cover story he was back to the chest of drawers pulling out his favorite brown-tan shirt, with a pocket on the chest. He rubbed the fabric between his hands as he turned then walked over silently and handed it to her. He raised an eyebrow at her, "What next?"


	28. Eight

She let the ice cream melt softly on her tongue, a spoon pressed against her lips as she watched him struggle.

Meryl sat on the window seat, pillow stuffed behind her back and pint of ice cream resting easily on her belly while Maks put together the wooden toy chest they had bought for Danya’s room. It was the last thing they needed to do before the nursery was completely finished and they had been putting it off. Well, rather Maks had been putting it off because he knew he was going to be the one doing it.

She took another bite of her ice cream as he cursed. Normally she might have scolded him but now she just smiled, “How ya doin’?”

He glared up at her then down at the mess in front of him, “I’m having a blast.”

She smirked at him while rolling her eyes. She glanced around the room and took in a deep breath. It was real. They were six days away from her due date and she was miserable, but in this exact moment she was just excited.

The teal of the room was muted by the softness of the pastel and bright colors on the walls and the white furniture. They got the fiesta chair they had seen in the window they day they went shopping and the fuzzy rug below it made Maks sneeze when they first got it, but now he liked it enough to sit on it. She spent a lot of time in this room.

“Do you think she’ll like it in here?”

Maks glanced up from where he was screwing in a bolt and looked around the room, “I think so.”

She nodded, “Me too.”

They sat in silence as he worked. She ate her ice cream and daydreamed until she heard him stand and clap his hands together, “Done.”

She sat up from her position and looked down at the white toy box. It was pretty and big. She already had enough toys but they continued to get more from various relatives every day. She felt herself smile and walked over, running a hand along the smooth top. She wouldn’t dare tell him, but it wobbled only a little. She looked up at him and stood on her tip toes giving him a light kiss. He looked down proudly at his work.

“Good job, baby.” She said turning to stand next to him mimicking his stance, looking down at the box. He gave her a proud smile then moved it to the location she had set up for it. Meryl walked over with a plan, “You did so good, I think I should share my ice cream with you.”

She already had a spoonful and before he could refuse she flung some on him, landing on his cheek, “What- Oh!”

She couldn’t help but giggle at his expression. His left cheek was covered in Cherry Garcia and his jaw hung open in surprise. She sat down the pint quickly and walked over to his, putting both hands around his neck, her small thumbs framing his jaw, “Oh no,” She teased, “I got some right here-“

She lifted on her toes again then kissed off the ice cream. She got off as much as she could with a smile. She could feel his smile against her lips and his hands rested on her hips. She could feel his laugh against her ear then she went down to flat feet and smiled at him, “I think I got most of it.”

He pursed his lips at her, “You sure? I think you got some right here,” He tapped his lips. She narrowed her eyes playfully and nodded then pulled his down crashing his lips against hers. She smiled against his lips and he moved to rub his face against her shoulder, wiping off his face. She laughed and when he stood back up he smiled, “I love you.”

“And I love you.”


	29. Nine

It was late. Really, really late.

And she was wet. Really, really wet.

She grimaced as she shifted in bed and her eyes flew open. Panic settled over her as she moved and felt the area around her hips was flooded. Did she have an accident? She was at war with herself as to what to do. Did she wake him? Did he try to clean it and hide it from him?

She felt her mouth dry and her cheeks get hot as she moved to get off the bed. She had to bite the bullet. She couldn’t change the sheets with him still in the bed. Meryl flicked on the light switch of the small beside lamp and the room settled in with a warm yellow glow. She took a breath and stood flipped the covers back and saw that the white sheets looked like it was covered in water-

Wait. Water.

She felt her eyes widen and the gears in her head start turning. Her water had broken. Now, two days past her due date at 1:27 in the morning, the baby was coming- like it or not.

Meryl stood in the middle of the room and felt like she had lost her brain for a second. She wanted to kick herself. _Not now pregnancy brain._

She glanced over at still-sleeping Maks and then ran over to him and took his shoulders, “Maks.”

He didn’t wake, he just groaned and squeezed his eyes tighter.

“Maks.”

He cracked his eyes and sighed, “Yeah.”

“My water broke.”

He nodded then closed his eyes. Meryl took a step back and waited. And just like she had expected, his eyes flung open, “Yeah?!”

“Yeah!” She said nodding furiously, a smile blasting across her lips. He sprang out of bed, completely disheveled. He glanced around the room, the same way she had, as if to catch his bearings, then looked at her.

“You’re having the baby.”

It wasn’t a question, as more of a statement. His smile only grew bigger, ten watt, as she nodded, “We are having the baby.”

 


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you. Thank you for this, and for everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End.

There were times when the clock seemed to work against him. The hands of time pushed too fast or stayed too still. But then… Then there were moments when time gave him room; gave him the benefit of working beside him instead of the constant pull.  If anyone would have asked him whether the clock was fighting or helping right now he wouldn’t have an answer because as Maks stood in the doorway of the hospital room he was sure that time had just stopped.

Stood completely and totally _still._

His girl, oh god his girl, lay against the hard-looking bed with her feet in stirrups, her head lolled back in exhaustion as she stared up at the ceiling. Her dark haired clung to her forehead and her knuckles burned white as she clung to the bedsheet at her sides, chest heaving up and down. _UpandDownUpandDownUpandDown._ And then her eyes closed and she bared her teeth, a low menacing whimper tore through her throat as her body tensed. She never screamed- not really. Just low heart breaking sounds that made his stomach knot every time they left her soft delicate mouth that he’d come to only expect words of love and softness.

He was burning for her, his heart weighed heavily in his chest.

As another contraction ended she let her head fall to the side and their eyes met for the first time since he’d stepped foot in that room. It felt like an unflappable drink of water on the hottest of summer days when his brown met her hazel, but… But her expression was the blankest he’d ever seen it and for a second he felt the cooling rush of fear wash over him because for a second- only a fraction- a heartbeat- he was afraid he had lost her and then she blinked, washing away all the lost and the familiar look of Meryl settle back on her features and she unclenched her fists from the bed beside her to hold her hand out to him. He felt like he was floating as he walked over to her and grasped her small hand in his, eyes never leaving hers.

When he’d finally reached her side she leaned to press her sweaty forehead against his forearm and let out a deep shaky breath. He’d never see her in so much pain. He wanted to take her in his arms and curl her into a ball against his chest, whisper nonsensical things that he _knew_ she just needed to hear into her hair- like he _knew_ she wanted, but instead he quietly leaned over and pressed his lips to the crown of her head, breathing in the spicy scent that was her; the scent that he’d welcomed to haunt him even on the brightest of days.  He felt her body tense under his lips and she quickly moved back to her prior position: sitting up, staring at the ceiling. She took in a sharp breath and grimaced.

And then she was back in his orbit. She blinked her eyes open and looked at him- her hazel eyes pleading for something. Anything. Maks nodded at her as _if it would help_ , he thought to himself, but like always his girl- his amazing, perfect, _strong_ girl nodded back as if that really was all she had needed. They sat there with each other for an undescriptive amount of time just holding each other’s hand like an anchor and leaning against each other, both of them just reassuring her that he was there with a gently squeeze of a hand… a rub of a thumb across a knuckle… a graze of lips against a temple.

Finally when the doctor arrived and told her it was time she had looked at him with such fear in her eyes that he had almost lost his breath. The strongest woman he’d ever known was looking for him to be a strength for her and if that was the last thing he would do, he would do just that.

Maks leaned so that his forehead was pressed against her temple and his hand rested on her chest, the steady beating of her heart plowed against his palm then her small hand curled hard into his wrist as she listened to the instructions of the doctor.

_“Hold your breath, count to ten, push, harder, push, and good.”_

He whispered to her everything he could think of. He whispered what she needed to hear even if she wasn’t listening. _‘You’re doing so good, baby.’, ‘So strong,’, ‘So right,’, ‘Perfect…’_ and _‘beautiful,’_ and _‘good.’_ He murmured things that didn’t make sense. Things that only felt right.

Her tiny hand squeezed him harder against the muscle of his arm, pinching the nerves but all he could do in that moment was listen; listen to the doctors soothing voice as she said, “Almost there, Meryl. She’s got _so_ much hair.”

Hair. His little girl had _hair_. And so much of it. He felt his heart hammer so hard against his breastbone he was sure it would bruise. _His_ little girl. A proud smile split across his face that he couldn’t have stopped if he wanted to. 

Another push, another breathe, another whimper.

“Meryl she’s right there, one more big push for me,” The doctor’s voice was like a balm, soothing and cooling in the heat of the moment. Maks closed his eyes and concentrated on the flutter of her heart against his palm.

And like that his world had turned a complete 180. Meryl nodded and clenched her jaw; her hand left his arm only to reach for his face. Maks’ forehead was still pressed against her temple but her small hand ran down the length of the side of his face; down the temple, across the apple of his cheek, down the column of his neck where her hand fisted the collar of his shirt. She didn’t say a word, her mouth pressed in a firm line and then he felt her body tense under him one last time. He clenched his eyes shut.

 _It was over but another journey was just beginning_.

He didn’t reopen his eyes until he heard the sound of his daughter for the first time. He didn’t breathe until he felt Meryl’s body tremor against him as her whimpers turned into exhausted, relieved sobs. Maks leaned to kiss her firmly on her forehead and brushed the sweaty hair from her face, “Perfect.”

Meryl’s eyes fluttered open to look into his, hazel bled into brown and for a second it was just them, just them in an empty room, his heart spilling through his gaze. He was proud; so, _so_ proud of the woman that laid in front of him. The woman, _his_ woman, that had turned his life around in so many ways, that kept him on his toes, that made him laugh and smile and love. Oh god, how he loved her.

Maks was positively sure there was no room in his heart for any more love until he heard someone call from behind him, “Daddy, do you want to cut the cord?”

Maks stood then and looked down at the beautiful, small, delicate looking thing the nurse was holding. She was so perfect that his breath burned in his lungs at the sight of her. The nurse whispered his name and handed him the scissors with a toothily grin on her face, “Congratulations. She’s stunning.”

Maks nodded without saying a word and cut where the nurse instructed. He handed the scissors back to her but didn’t take his eyes off the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. She was tiny- so tiny- but strong. She had a pert little nose- his nose, and lots of dark hair on her head, thick and curly. She had long fingers and long toes- 10 each; all with little tiny nails he was sure would be painted every color, just like her mother. Her little lips puckered and as she began to cry he couldn’t help but smile. It was one of the most perfect things he’d ever seen.

He’d ever seen _yet._

The nurse turned away with his daughter with a promise to bring her back as soon as she could. He nodded as he watched the love of his life being carried away. He turned and looked down at Meryl her lithe body was pale except for her red cheeks. Her eyes fluttered between closed and half lidded and she smiled at him for the first time since that day, “How is she?”

“She’s… God, Meryl...” He shook his head as he walked over to her and took her face in both of his hands, “Thank you.”

Meryl nodded sleepily to him and turned her head to kiss the palm of his hand then she leaned back and reached up to rub at the apple of his cheeks. He’d been crying and he didn’t even know. Maks shook his head and she smiled up at him, “I know.”

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXXxXx

He hadn’t been sleeping well since he’d gotten into the hospital and the pull out bed recliner combo wasn’t exactly comparable to his lush king-sized bed back home so it didn’t surprise him one bit that he’d woken up, yet again, in the middle of the night. But what had surprised him was that he wasn’t the only one awake.

Meryl was sitting up straight in her bed, finally back in her normal clothes after being given the go ahead to shower, her dark hair piled high on her head. She had on her glasses that she almost never wore and that alone made him smile. He sat up quietly and noticed that Danya was on the bed with her, lying prone on the bed in front of Meryl sleeping soundly. Maks watched her watching their daughter and felt his heart swell in his chest. He knew in that moment that this is where he was supposed to be. From that very instant he’d met her; he was supposed to end up right there in that extremely uncomfortable hospitals pull out at 4 in the morning.

She seemed to sense him watching because she looked over at him and smiled, “Good morning.”

“Morning.” He said softly as he stood up. He walked to the bed and looked down at their daughter, she looked different every day but she ever looked anything short of an angel. Maks leaned against the bed frame and crossed his arms over his chest, yawning.

“Can’t sleep?” She asked.

“Could ask you the same thing,” He said and then she shrugged easily.

“I wanted to see her.” She traced their daughter’s cheek with a slender finger and sighed, “Is that bed too uncomfortable? You’ve been flipping like crazy.”

“I’m okay. The doctor said you’d probably be going home today.”

She nodded silently and lifted Danya up, cradling her against her chest. She began shuffling in the bed. “What are you doing?” He asked moving to somehow help her.

“I’m making room.” She said as if it was obvious.

Maks cocked an eyebrow at her and shook his head, “I can’t get in there with you.”

“You can,” She said strongly, “And you will.”

Maks took a step back, “Baby, I’m not allowed.”

Meryl glanced up at him and gave him her best glare. Maks glanced around the room and sighed, knowing that whether it was his choice or not, he’d end up in that bed. He climbed up, avoiding jostling either of them as best he could. He leaned back against the bed, which was admittedly ten times better than his pull out, and sighed. Meryl moved with Danya in her arms and leaned against him. He moved to wrap an arm around her shoulder and she laid her head against his chest, “Better?”

“Better.” He agreed. “You’re amazing you know that?”

She smiled and shrugged. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of her head and looked down at his daughter being cradled in her arms. She was incredible and if he had to spend the rest of his life proving it to her he would. “You are. You made this being jerk to a big soft teddy bear in the matter of minutes,” He said with a smile, “and… you’ve changed me. For the better. You make me feel okay to be a me I never knew I wanted to be.”

Meryl shook her head, “You’ve always been this guy Maks.”

“No. I wasn’t,” He said with such conviction that this time she didn’t bother to correct him, “But I’ll always be this guy with _you_. With her.”

Meryl smiled again and pushed her shoulder into him, “Get some sleep. We’ll be here when you wake up.”

Maks nodded and leaned his head back against the pillow and found sleep pulling at him. He felt infinitely better now that his girls were in his arms. He felt whole. Right before he drifted off to sleep he vowed silently to himself and to them that he would never forget this feeling.

Never forget the feeling of being _completely and totally whole._

 

 


	31. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue

“18.”

 

“Good,” He said while pulling her dark hair through a pony tail holder, the curls springing to life around her face as they found their way from out of his grasp. Maks scowled and reached his large hand to try and smooth the wisps back in vain, “And, 5 plus 7?”

 

Danya scrunched her nose, “I hate adding 7’s.”

 

He smirked at her through the glass as she stood on the step stool only high enough she could see her eyes, “What’s 5 plus 7, D?”

 

Danya huffed and put her hands out in front of her; today painted a bright green, and began to count silently, “12.”

 

“Good job.” Maks pulled dropped his hands, hitting his thighs, “I don’t know baby. I think this is the best we’re gonna get.”

 

Danya stood on her tiptoes and turned her head from side to side then dropped back down to the planes of her feet and looked at him, “Momma puts it in a bun.”

 

Maks pulled his lips into his mouth and blinked. Danya hopped down off the stool and sighed dramatically; picking it up and putting it back in “the spot.” She turned, with all the attitude that a 4 year old could muster with her hands on her tiny hips, just above her gauzy dance skirt, “It’s okay daddy. We’ll figure it out.”

 

Maks felt a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. She was all Davis temper and completely Chmerkovskiy looks. He had never loved anyone or anything more in his life. Maks nodded in faux exhaustion and said, “If you say so. I’m trusting you.”

 

Danya lifted her chin and raised her pinky, “Promise.”

 

Maks walked over to her and locked his pinky with hers then moved to lift her in his arms. She giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck and laid her head down on his shoulder as he carried her out to the living room where her tiny gym bag was waiting. Bending over with her still in his arms, she giggled as he tossed her pink book bag over his shoulder, “Did you pack your water?”

 

She nodded and then he was walking towards the door of his apartment. They still lived in SoHo in the apartment Meryl had picked out but now it was bright and there was a toy box sitting in the corner of the living room and a high chair by the dining table. Whatever their life had looked like before was nothing like now- and he couldn’t think of any other way he’d want it.

 

Maks walked out of the apartment and into the busy city streets and down to the parking garage, “You excited?”

Danya shrugged in his arms, now picking at the nail polish on her tiny fingers, “Kind of. What if they don’t like me?”

 

Maks looked down at his daughter, her long eyelashes casting shadows on her cheeks, “I love you. That’s what matters. No matter what.”

 

Danya looked up at him and her murky hazel eyes searched his face. She was so smart and so inquisitive it made his heart swell. She formed a line with her mouth and nodded, “I love you, daddy.”

 

Maks squeezed her against him then reached into his pocket for his keys, unlocking the black Jeep and putting her in her car seat. He handed her the gym bag then jogged around to the other side of the car and hopped in. They hadn’t left early enough and he was almost 100% sure that her coach would be scowling when they made it to the ice rink, but he would take the lashing with grace.

 

Changes took time to adjust to.

 

Maks pulled out into the New York streets and made his way across to Long Island to where Danya’s new ice rink was located. Danya had been skating since she could walk and there was nothing that made him more proud than when he saw his daughter gliding across the ice with so much natural grace one could weep. She loved it too- he’d never seen any child as passionate about something as Danya was about skating. But then again, he was also sure that he’d never met anyone as amazing as his daughter.

 

It took some time but they had made it to her rink only ten minutes late. Maks quickly unbuckled Danya out of the car and placed her on her feet and handed the backpack over to her. Sensing the rush she tossed it over her shoulders and reached up to him, he swooped her up and they were off, heading straight for the front doors.

 

He pulled the door open and jogged inside, searching for the clock above the front desk. An amused laugh came from behind the computer, “Ten minutes. Getting better Mr. C.”

 

Maks looked over at the receptionist, Jake, and groaned, “Am I in trouble?”

 

Jake shrugged noncommittally and clicked around on his computer, “Probably.”

 

Maks huffed and pulled Danya up on his side and started towards the rink. Danya smirked, “We’re late.”

 

“Yes, we are.” He said.

 

“She’s not gonna be very happy.”

 

“No.” He said with a shake, “She’s not.”

 

Finally making it to the rink Maks pushed through the doors as quietly as he could and held the door until it closed to not make a sound. The group of kids where on the bleachers listening to their coach talk, “And if we don’t find a partner for you today- that’s okay. Its all about what’s right.”

 

Maks tiptoed down the concrete stairs but he knew she had seen them. When he made it down to where the rest of the group was he smiled guiltily at her, “Hi. Sorry we’re late.”

 

“Hi mommy,” Danya waved from his side.

 

“It’s okay,” She smiled and waved at her daughter, “We’re about to pair up.”

 

Maks shrugged at her weakly and mouthed sorry again and she raised an eyebrow at him telling him he would be getting a strong talking to when the speech was over. Meryl continued with her information for the kids then pulled out a sheet. She had sat down for a long time, multiple days, pairing the kids up at home and he’d known that when she was finished she was still unsure. Meryl began putting names together and the kids would go on the ice together and waited.

 

“Danya Chmerkovskiy and Zayden Monroe.”

 

Danya looked over at him and swallowed then went to the front of the group and waited for her partner to come down the steps. He’d known who Zayden was. He was the strong and hard working and older than Danya by two years but he matched Danya well.

 

Zayden pranced down the steps with confidence and looked at Danya with a warm smile. He reached a hand out to her and she softly took it, looking up at her mother who smiled down at her. Danya looked back at him one last time and he nodded.

 

He knew right when Zayden waited for her to get on the ice that this was something. His heart ached at the site of his daughter starting her journey in the same way her mother had. She had grown up with stars in her eyes and now she was going to do exactly what she wanted to do. Meryl finished off pairing the group of kids of all ages and skill levels. Danya was the youngest there by far but she had amazing skill.

 

Maks looked down at Meryl with a tug at his heart. This was his life. He got to watch the love of his life bloom and create this amazing little fireball that was going to take the world by storm. He was so damned lucky.

 

Meryl was talking to her assistant when Maks came up behind her. He placed his hands on both sides of her waist and she turned easily in his arms. He leaned down to kiss her then smiled against her lips, “Sorry about being late.”

“What is wrong with her hair, Maksim?” She laughed, the air hitting his lips making him want to shiver.

 

Maks pulled away and shrugged sheepishly, “Changes take time. I’m used to just dropping off Sasha at the studio, crazy hair and all.”

 

Meryl smiled and crossed her arms over her shoulders, “Alex said that we need to pay him more. Apparently your son doesn’t actually dance while he’s there. He just flirts with the older women.”

 

Maks raised his eyebrows and shoved his hands in his pockets proudly, “That’s my boy.”

 

She looked over at him and laughed, eyebrows raised. He stepped closer to her, sidling up close to her but not putting his arm around her. He just wanted to feel her warmth. They both faced the ice and watched as the assistant coach told the kids to start skating together. The first few laps were just about holding the others hand- feeling the other out. Then they would move on.

 

He watched as his daughter made her way around the rink with the tall older boy, brown long hair and charming smile. He was making her laugh and Maks couldn’t help but silently thank him.

 

“She’s going to be incredible,” Meryl said lovingly as she watched Danya. She looked up at him with a proud gaze, “Isn’t she?”

 

“She already is. Thanks to you.” He said strongly, “Everything is thanks to you.”

 

Meryl shook her head, “Thanks to _us_.”

 

Maks looked down at her for a long moment, taking her in. She was the most perfect thing he’d ever met. Every line, every curve and angle, every wisp of hair was exactly why he loved her. Meryl Davis had come in like a bandit and stole everything from him and he willingly let her. He’d known from the moment he’d met her that she was going to be his something. She was his far better. She was his very well. She was good morning and his good night. She was never his good bye but always his see you later.

 

She was his first for some.

 

But, _mostly_? Mostly she was his last for _everything._


	32. Mother's Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post Thick of It, Maks, Danya, and Sasha make a Mother's Day memory for Meryl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got an ask for a Mother's Day gift to post a mother's day special in the Thick of It universe, so I went ahead and did. It's just a one shot, but I hope y'all enjoy! :) Love you!- Jes

“That one!” Sasha leaned heavily against the glass case; his  warm breath fogging up the glass while his tiny finger drew circles around the item in question. The jeweler smirked and put her hand in the display case and pointed at the charm that the four year old was staring at, “This?”

“That’s it!” He pressed his nose against the glass and smiled as she pulled the charm from the display case and sat it on the counter. Sasha kept his hands on the glass as he stood on his tiptoes, eyes the piece of jewelry. A smile spread across his cheeks as he looked up at the jeweler, “Do you like it?”

She nodded, “It’s very unique.”

Sasha glowed at her then nodded to himself, looking back at the charm in question. It was a mother’s day tradition. Maks would take Sasha and Danya to a jewelry store a few days before and they would each pick out a new charm to go on the first Pandora bracelet he’d given her before Danya was born. After they would each find something small to give her and he would take her out for dinner later that night.

It was small, just a day, but he knew it met a lot to her.

Maks smiled as he leaned against the wall and watched his youngest pick out his charm. He’d always given the kids small directions as to what she would like but this year he would let them both choose on their own, no questions asked except it had to silver, to match. Danya had picked out[ a small floral heart padlock charm](http://www.pandora.net/en-us/explore/products/charms/791397), it was simple and eloquent and it reminded him of both his daughter and his wife but Sasha was having a bit more trouble.

Well, was. He’d found his charm and when Maks walked over to look Sasha quickly closed the lid on the small box, “No.” He said strongly, “I want it to be surprise.”

Maks raised an eyebrow and looked up at the jeweler who only smiled back and shrugged, giving nothing away. Maks shrugged, himself, and asked, “So, are we finished?”

Sasha nodded happily and handed the box back to the jeweler who winked at him. Maks couldn’t help but smile at the exchange, curiosity nagging at his tummy, but decided he had let the kids choose for a reason. Maks reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet, “Mothers Day Surprise it is.”

.

  
.

  
.

He wanted so badly to squeeze his eyes tighter and ignore the light pulling on his hand but instead he let himself rise to consciousness. Blinking his eyes open the fuzzy image in front of him turned into his daughter holding his toddler son awkwardly while he slept on her shoulder, her hair a messy halo of brown around her head. “Daddy, it’s time.” She whispered fervently into the dark.

Maks sighed heavily and slid the covers off of himself, sure not to touch his sleeping wife beside him. He glanced over at the clock and duly noted that it was only 7:23 in the morning on a Sunday.

Not any Sunday, of course. Mother’s Day. Mother’s Day in the Chmerkovskiy household may as well have been an international holiday for one.

“Okay, I’m up,” He said rubbing the heels of his hand against his eyes and suppressing a yawn. He stood slowly and reached his hands out to grab the sleeping Sasha from his sister, “Let’s let them lay together, hm?”

Danya frowned at that and then shrugged as Maks lifted his son up and over to lay him where he was just moments before, knowing full well it was still warm and completely inviting. Sasha snuggled deep into the covers, pressing himself against Meryl’s back.

Maks pushed down Sasha’s dark hair and leaned down to kiss the crown of his head then turned to his daughter who was looking rather dragged down by the distraction. But, that was Danya. She was strong willed and determined and when she set her mind to something, that’s what she was going to do and anything deterring her from that was interference. She also had him wrapped fully around her currently-green-painted-finger.

“Alright, baby girl. What’s the plan?”

“We make breakfast first then the park and that’s where we give her the presents,” She said as she snuck out of their room, Maks light on her trail, “Then lunch at poppas and grandma’s, right?”

“Right,” Maks had already known the plan through and through but he’d known she was a planner, much like her mother, and liked to get it out on he open.

“Then we go to the movies and Aunt Jenna comes over and you guys go on that date.”

“Sounds like a plan,” He said happily as they reached the open kitchen. Danya had already been working, apparently, eggs, bread, butter, and fruit all set up and ready to be fixed, her step stool already placed against the sink.

Like the most of Mother’s Day, there was a routine. Maks would do the adult cooking, whether it be eggs, or waffles, or pancakes, while Danya would wash the fruit. After that she would set the table and wake her mother up.

This year was it was hole-in-ones like Cheryl used to make. He’d called her the night before and got the directions as an extra surprise. Getting right to work Maks began cutting out the bread while Danya washed. They were like a well-oiled machine. Before long the table was set and four hole-in-ones were made and Danya was sprinting off to bring his wife out for breakfast.

When she walked out with Sasha on her hip and Danya holding her hand he was sure there wasn’t a day he didn’t fall at least a little bit more in love with her. She would scoff at him if he ever said that out loud, especially now, with her long hair a mess her pajamas bottoms falling off her hips and baby drool on her camisole, but it was true. She was stunning.

“Happy Mothers Day,” He said quietly, a smile placed firmly on his lips. She looked over the table, her sleepy eyes turning bright. This was normal- this breakfast- but every year it seemed to surprise her.

She looked down at her daughter who held her hand proudly and asked, “Did you do this?”

Danya nodded enthusiastically, “I helped with the fruit and I sat up the table. Sash drew you that picture.”

Meryl squeezed her daughter’s hand and walked over to the table, picking up the picture her son had drew that was being used as a centerpiece. It was a family portrait with the kids in the middle.  It was lopsided and her right hand was three times bigger than her left, but she looked at it like it was a priceless piece. She smiled and kissed Sasha who was still tucked firmly on her hip, “This is beautiful, baby bear.”

He snuggled closer into her and she glanced up at him, turning the paper so he could see it. He nodded lovingly then walked over to her and put his arm around her, pulling her close against him, pressing a light kiss to her lips, “Good morning.”

She smiled against his lips, “I love you.”

He leaned back and winked at her then took a step back, “You’re breakfast-de-mother’s-day awaits.”

He took Sasha from her then pulled out her chair. Danya sat next to her and the boys sat across. They talked and laughed as they ate their breakfast. Sasha would rather talk than do anything else with his mouth so he ended up being the last at the table, wolfing down his breakfast on his own while the girls got ready to take a walk in Central Park. By the time Maks had finally gotten a moment alone with her the kids were bouncing off the walls to go.

He slid in behind her as she braided her hair in the mirror; his large hands rested on the flat of her tummy and she leaned back against him. He watched her quietly as she finished her hair and then turned around to wrap her arms around his neck, “This was perfect.”

“The days only started,” He said.

She shrugged, “Doesn’t matter. This is what I wanted. You and the kids. It’s perfect.”

He smiled, “I guess we can just call the rest of the day off then?”

She pulled at the hairs at the back of his neck and laughed, “Not a chance.”

He pulled her even closer against him and squeezed her. She squeezed back and kissed the side of his neck and then said, “We better go. They’ll come looking for us soon.”

He nodded and let her go, only to grab her hand and walk with her out into the living room where the kids waited. Sasha had on a light parka and a pair of shorts, a small Valentin hat placed askew on his head while Danya had on a pair of shorteralls and a ice camp t-shirt, her hair pulled high on her head and a handkerchief knotted at the top to keep the flyways back. They looked a little ragtag but no one cared.

“Whose ready for a walk in the park?” Meryl asked from beside him.

The kids raised their hands excitedly and then they were off. His small family excited just to spend more time together. Though, they had never really been apart often there was something much more special about days like this. No real sturdy agenda that involved anyone else but themselves.

When they got to the park, it was as full as usual, laughter and chatter mixed in the electric New York air. Maks and Meryl walked a little behind their kids, letting them lead the way, as they held hands. The weather was warmer than usual but it almost made it nicer. “I think we should take the kids to Michigan,” Meryl said out of no where, “They would love it there. And they haven’t seen mom and dad since Sasha was two.”

Maks squeezed her hand lightly and nodded his response. They both knew that it was time to go to Michigan. They both knew how much she missed it, even when she never put a voice to it.

They walked some more, getting further and deeper into the park until they got to a grassy clearing. Sasha and Danya held hands as they made it over to whatever spot they chose then waved their parents over. Maks pulled her along as she laughed. He pulled over his backpack and tossed a light blanket over to his kids. They spread it out and they all sat down, knowing it was time to give gifts.  
First, Danya gave her small gift. It was a mother-daughter coupon that Larisa helped her print out of a day of manicures and pedicures, ice-skating, shopping, and lunch (funded by himself) whenever she wanted. Then came the charm. Every time she had gotten a charm her eyes got misty. She hugged her daughter tightly and kissed her forehead, whispering a thank you.

Next was Sasha. Sasha had given her a pair of pajamas with penguins on them and his favorite movie- absolutely sure that she would love it as well. When she had pulled out the small charm box Maks had nearly forgotten that he had no idea what the charm looked like so he was just as interested as Meryl was.

At first her eyebrows drew together but quickly flattened as she reached into the box, a small smile on her lips as she lifted up[ a small pink diamond apple. ](http://www.pandora.net/en-us/explore/products/charms/791485cfr)She looked over at Sasha who was beaming proudly as his gift.

“An apple?” She asked.

He nodded and scooted over to her and plucked the charm from her fingers, “I picked it because remember when we went to that farm and you lifted me up and I got that high apple? That was my favorite.”

She glanced up at Maks and smiled so bright he felt it all the way to his bones. He shrugged and shook his head then looked down at this son who was watching them, “That was a good pick, buddy.”

Sasha flushed and handed it back to Meryl, “I just wanted her to ‘member too.”

Meryl placed the charm back and closed the box, sure that she wouldn’t lose it, then gathered her son up in her arms and hugged him. She closed her eyes and breathed him in, “That was my favorite too, baby bear.”

Sasha’s small hand curled around her bicep as he laughed when she nuzzled against him. And just like that he fell even more in love with her. How it was even possible, he wasn’t sure.

She finally let go, but only for a second to gather Danya up in her arms as well. The three of them giggled amongst each other and he as he sat and watched he has wished that there were a charm for this exact moment because this was  _his_  favorite and he wanted to remember it.

She looked at him over the top of their kids’ heads and smiled. He blinked once, capturing the moment and filing it away then smiled back, “Happy Mother’s Day, baby.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also hyperlinked within the story: 
> 
> Danya's Charm: http://www.pandora.net/en-us/explore/products/charms/791397  
> Sasha's Charm: http://www.pandora.net/en-us/explore/products/charms/791485cfr


End file.
